mdlbear: the positively imaginary half of a cubic mandelbrot set (Default)
[personal profile] mdlbear
0222 Mo
  % awake 3-4:30ish; _not_ BPH? seems to be mostly sweating
  * up 6:50; W=199.6; drugs, nose; coffee
  @ xkcd: Devotion to Duty
  & puttering with my quick-reference home page
  @ Vibram Five Fingers: Discover the Barefooting Alternative
    (from this comment by [livejournal.com profile] bercilakslady)
  @ Music Industry Piracy Fears: A Historical Perspective
  * ~steve/Config really belongs in /users/steve -> Private
    some things, e.g. .mailrc and .gnus, really need to be private.
    Others not so much; those can get _exported_ into /users/steve 
  * home.html to ~/Private/Config
  * work: mkdir home, git clone dsl:Private.  Much better.
    exclude ~/home from backups.
  : It figures that the first warm, sunny day in a week would be a Monday.
  * walk: 6x around pond.  Good weather.
  * call to Callie; went to voice mail
  @ Notes on being a housewife
  @ Laptop-Spying School Accessed Webcams 42 Times; FBI Begins Investigation
  @ How To: Escape From Google's Clutches, Once and For All
  @ Mobile-volunteering puts thumbs to work for good causes - CNN.com
  % OK, *that's* what fear feels like:  tightness and warmth across chest,
    stronger heartbeat, tightness around stomach (i.e. high in chest).
    (context: thinking about calling broker)  Not the other thing at all.
    (other thing)
  * call broker re: getting some cash out. 408-244-3500 (3507 in phone--old)
    * no online access via wellsfargo.com (0219)
    * call direct - requested check, should arrive Wed.
    % took about 45 minutes to work up to it; still keyed up afterward.
  * hug for Colleen from Deborah
  % Colleen to ER because of injured toe (Marty)
    ! moderately worried. 
    & stopped by on the way home; less worried, but still concerned.
  % The bedroom looks like Marty was getting ready to wash the sheets.
    Lots of work ahead tonight, I'm afraid.  ! grumpy
    ->as it turned out, Marty did most of the work.  Yay!!!
  * configure eth0 static (99.29.56.214) on stargate
  * Olympics with Colleen (Marty, part of the time)
    The ice dancing was spectacular, and the joy and friendship shown by the
    top two pairs (who train together) was delightful to watch.
    (See Olympic Spoilers? by [livejournal.com profile] allisona)
  * bed ~00:30; S=9776

A long day, and very like a roller-coaster. Got some system administration done in the morning, a good walk, and some working. I called my broker about getting cash out of my account, to pay credit card bills. It took me most of an hour to work myself up to it; I was still keyed up hours later. Still not clear on just what I was afraid of, but afraid I was. But I have a pretty clear idea of what fear feels like, now. That's something.

I was still keyed up, and very much looking forward to a quiet evening and a drink, when I got a call from Colleen, who was on her way to the ER with an injured foot, from a near fall getting out of the shower. Luckily Marty had been there to patch her back together and drive her over.

She was glued-up and out in time to watch the ice dancing, which was spectacular, with me. So the day finished well.

I guess the thing that scared me about calling the broker was just doing something I'd never done before, and had no idea how to go about doing. Put that way, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. But a middle-sized bear's mind is a very odd place. One can't expect it to make sense.

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