Learning

Apr. 23rd, 2008 08:56 am
mdlbear: the positively imaginary half of a cubic mandelbrot set (Default)
[personal profile] mdlbear

There was a gentle rain early this morning; when I went outside the air was washed clean and sunlight was sparkling on the lingering raindrops. It felt remarkably appropriate.

I have learned many things over the last, oh, 36 hours. Here, in no particular order, are some of them:

  • "Never let the sun set on your anger" is good advice. So is "never go to bed with your anger." I'll settle for "never go to sleep with your anger" -- that works, too. I know damned well who I'd rather sleep with.
  • Some things are better than sex. Long, close cuddles and deep, loving conversation are in that set. Especially when combined.
  • I can still cry from missing my Dad.
  • There are many things to value in a relationship, and peoples' ranking of them can differ. Love, loyalty, passion, honesty... Friendship, understanding, and working through problems are high on my list. Anyone have a good single word for that last one? It may be the most important for me.
  • You get higher social security payments if you keep working until you're 70. Not that I have much choice.
  • A long-term intense relationship, whether physical or platonic, is time-consuming. I need to manage my time and my priorities better.

Date: 2008-04-23 04:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catsittingstill.livejournal.com
working through problems as a single word?

"Negotiation" maybe?

Date: 2008-04-23 05:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mdlbear.livejournal.com
That feels different to me: it implies finding a compromise between two starting positions.

I mean coming to a shared understanding of what the problem is, and going from there to a solution. The solution may involve negotiating a compromise, but in other cases (this one included) it's so obvious in retrospect that it can be adopted by consensus as soon as someone points it out.

Date: 2008-04-23 04:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] min0taur.livejournal.com
I like to think human beings get closer to the wisdom of a spirit as we go. Your care and mindfulness here encourages that hope. Thanks.

Date: 2008-04-23 05:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mdlbear.livejournal.com
You're very welcome. I like to think so, too.

Date: 2008-04-23 10:05 pm (UTC)
ext_73044: Tinkerbell (Default)
From: [identity profile] lisa-marli.livejournal.com
Sounds productive. Even the crying. And it's perfectly normal to miss a parent, for the rest of your life even. Especially when you are as close as you were to your dad.

Date: 2008-04-23 10:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mdlbear.livejournal.com
Yes, very productive.

I'm always a little surprised to find myself "perfectly normal" in some respect. It wasn't the missing that was unexpected part -- I do that all the time. It was the crying.

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