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Poem: "The Life of the Dead" Part 3

Oct. 22nd, 2014 12:22 am
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This story belongs to the series Love Is For Children which includes "Love Is for Children," "Hairpins," "Blended," "Am I Not," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys,""Saudades," "Querencia," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," "Birthday Girl," "No Winter Lasts Forever," "Hide and Seek," "Kernel Error," "Happy Hour," "Green Eggs and Hulk,""kintsukuroi," "Little and Broken, but Still Good," and "Up the Water Spout."

Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanova, Phil Coulson, Betty Ross, Clint Barton, Tony Stark, JARVIS, Bruce Banner
Medium: Poetry
Warnings: Past imprisonment, torture, experimentation. PTSD. Flashbacks. Dissociation. Cyclic amnesia. Temporal trauma. Broken people. Internalized oppression. Low sense of self-worth. Self-destructive behavior. Shame. Depression. Suicidal ideation. Physical and emotional whump.
Summary: Bucky experiences life in fragments as his memory cycles through past and present.
Notes: Hurt/Comfort. Mercy. Freedom. Good and evil. Family of choice. Team as family. Trauma and recovery. Healing. Friendship. Love. Nonsexual intimacy. No sex. Trust. Memory. Artificial intelligence. Safety and security. Competence. #coulsonlives

Begin with Part 1, Part 2.

Read more... )

We apologize for the delay...

Oct. 22nd, 2014 01:39 am
acelightning: technical model of a human tooth (tooth)
[personal profile] acelightning
...but there will be no comments on Tuesday's journal entries, and possibly none on Wednesday's entries either. I have another dentist appointment (a follow-up from last week) in about eight hours, and I ought to be asleep already.

I don't know what they're going to do on Wednesday morning at much-too-early o'clock; it could be an apicoectomy, it could be "come back next week", it could be "come back next year". But if I'm in any shape to do so, I'll try to catch up (again!) later.

Thank you all for your patience :-)
archangelbeth: Bleach's Captain Byakuya, three-quarters view. Captioned: sigh (Sigh)
[personal profile] archangelbeth
1: got some cope for the Most Pressing of the various obligations I have, and got through that.
2: A long shower today helped.
3: It's trash night. Blah.

I have been haunting fade's tumblr.

A: I dare someone to have their Bal/Seraph wear this:
B: Three Seraphim of Judgment, or a Seraph, Malakite, and Elohite?
D: The joys of crit-fails on dice:
E: Marketing campaign cleverness that... fails a little.
F: "Level 70 priest healing the tank."
G: "Makeup should enhance your natural beauty, not obscure it. Use subtle highlights to accent the ravenous hunger in your eyes and bring out the extraordinary size of your submandibular venom glands." (There's more. It's gleeful.)
H: Best. Loingirding. Ever.
I: Just plain pretty: and
J: Elements!
K: K is for Ki'rin!
L: L is for Latin.

...I should stop now.

Okay, one more. HOVERDOGS!

...those are totally all quotes.

INwatch+Bookwatch )

Dragons under fold )

the grand nerd myth of the internet

Oct. 21st, 2014 07:17 pm
thnidu: my familiar. "Beanie Baby" -type dragon, red with white wings (Default)
[personal profile] thnidu
"... the grand nerd myth of the internet as a perfect meritocracy in which everyone is equal and the worst crime is special pleading." - The Future Of The Culture Wars Is Here, And It's Gamergate


Linked from
Dream Cafe, Steven Brust's blog - Oh, Jesus Fuck, Now I Have To Talk About #Gamergate

dialecticdreamer: My work (Default)
[personal profile] dialecticdreamer
Clearing the Air
By Dialecticdreamer/Sarah Williams
Part 3 of 7
Word count: 1123

Warnings: language (mild but highly apropos, given context)

:: This takes place in Ysabetwordsmith's Polychrome Heroics universe, and continues Aidan's visit with Hannah, Danso and the other children. My eternal, endless thanks for her permission and feedback, support and gleeful laughter. ::

Review Part ONE and TWO

“No, that's the last errand of the morning, but first we need to talk. Man to man, because you're not really a teenager, and you're certainly not a boy.”

Danso's stomach flopped unpleasantly. “And?” he managed.

Read more... )
ysabetwordsmith: Damask smiling over their shoulder (polychrome)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
Thanks to a donation from [personal profile] lynnoconnacht,  there are 11 new verses in "What a Precious Privilege."  Lawrence enjoys the omelette and finally starts waking up enough to realize that there are some things he needs to say to Stan.
filkerdave: (Default)
[personal profile] filkerdave

A song that I started ages back has started to nibbling back on the edges of my brain, except now I only have little bits and pieces and the original emotional inspiration for it is long, long gone.

Normally, what I'd do is sit down with my guitar and just noodle and play with words. That's how I write most songs, I think.

Now, Anna's guitar is perfectly fine and I'm extremely grateful that she's let me borrow it these months, but it's not Six Pack (which is my main guitar) and the "feel" is different. I miss a few chords, the tone isn't quite the same. They're all little things, but it makes it harder to work on songs.

(For comparison, I played Anna's guitar at Worldcon, but Six Pack is almost an extension of me (or would be, if I played better)).
annathepiper: (Alan and Sean Ordinary Day)
[personal profile] annathepiper

I meant to get this posted a few days ago, for which I apologize–this is what happens when I’m flattened by dental surgery! But that said, this is another book with a crowdfunding campaign to which I’d like to draw your all’s attention, especially as the Indiegogo campaign is down to its final hours.

Shawna Reppert is a fellow Carina author, and like me, she’s got some self-pubbed work as well. She’s gotten some high praise for her first solo effort, Ravensblood. Now she’s looking to publish the sequel, and is calling on potential supporters to back her up right over here. Hours are counting down, so go give her a look, won’t you?

And in the meantime, here’s a Boosting the Signal piece that Shawna sent me! Of this piece, Shawna says: “Since Raven’s Wing is written with three POV characters—Raven, Cass and the villain (not gonna tell you who it is, you have to read the book) I thought it would be interesting to let one of the secondary characters have a say. Mick MacLean volunteered.”


Raven's Wing

Raven’s Wing

Mick sat at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of rewarmed coffee, listening to Raven’s soulful piano-playing in the next room. The boy was good, not quite concert-pianist quality, but only an educated ear could hear the difference. If Raven had devoted himself to music instead of the Art…but may as well say that if a sheep had gills, it’d be a fish. The Three Communities, and likely the rest of the world as well, had reason to be glad that Raven had devoted himself to the study of magic, whether they chose to acknowledge it or not.

Even in his younger days, Mick would have been no match for him, and he’d been formidable in time. Back in the day when he’d left his outback home and traveled to another continent to help the Three Communities bring down William’s father. Much as his boy had helped to bring down William himself.

Only Zack had never come back.

Raven still looked at him as though he expected to be blamed for Zack’s death, or maybe just for surviving when Zack had not.

Life had taught Raven to expect unfairness. Mick was determined to teach him to trust in kindness, as well. Ana had started the lesson. Cass, he knew, tried, but it was different with lovers, more complicated.

He liked the man. At first, for the sake of Zack, who had befriended him, and for Ana, who had mentored him and worried over him. Later, on his own merits.

Oh, there were bigger-scale reasons to offer the man sanctuary. Whoever had stolen the Ravensblood was powerful, cunning, and surely up to no good. Mick would do anything in his power to head off another William.

Or William himself, returning. They never had found the body.

But if the last Mage Wars had taught Mick anything, it taught him that if you lost sight of the small stuff, the human stuff, while focusing on the big picture, then you risked becoming the thing you fought.

He still wondered if Giles would be alive today if he hadn’t pressured him harder to get out. If he’d made more of an effort to be a friend to the man instead of a handler, maybe Giles would have taken his pleas more seriously. He asked himself if his failure to do so came from holding the life of a dark mage more lightly than he would have another source’s.

In all these years, he hadn’t been able to answer that question.


Support the Book on Indiegogo at: Indiegogo Campaign | Sample Chapters

Follow the Author At: Official Site | Facebook | Twitter | Tumblr | Pinterest

Mirrored from

Poem: "Before the Fever Breaks"

Oct. 21st, 2014 12:03 am
ysabetwordsmith: Damask smiling over their shoulder (polychrome)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This poem was written outside the prompt calls, inspired by conversations with [personal profile] lynnoconnacht.  It also fills the "fever / delirium" square in my 7-31-14 card for the [community profile] hc_bingo  fest.  It has been sponsored by [personal profile] stardreamer.  This poem belongs to the Stalwart Stan & Antimatter thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.

Read more... )
dialecticdreamer: My work (Default)
[personal profile] dialecticdreamer
I've written before about the things I consider errors in the portrayal of the future. But here's the question for today's essay: is the political agenda an error of the /present/ written forward onto the future?
Read more... )


Oct. 20th, 2014 04:48 pm
fayanora: girl crying 2 (girl crying 2)
[personal profile] fayanora
I had a nightmare last night. First one in years. Even though apparently, I don't experience nightmares the same way as I used to. Used to be, I'd get so scared I'd try to scratch and claw my way out of my brain (not literally) and then wake up with a start, surprised at my success, and shaking; it would take a few seconds to realize I wasn't in danger anymore.

Now, however, it appears that I have some kind of detachment even in nightmares. A part of me knew I was dreaming, and so instead of getting worked up to the point where I was scratching to get out of my brain, I simply did the equivalent of "Nope. All aboard the Nope Train to Nopesville." Woke up just as calmly as usual, aside from the "Holy shit, what a nightmare" thought, the lingering memories of the nightmare, and finally deciding to stay up.

So what was the nightmare? Okay, I guess I'll tell you.

I was living in the old piece of shit house we used to live in Wiota, the one out in the middle of nowhere practically. (If I had a dime for every dream that took place there, I could buy a solid gold wristwatch.) At first, I was on my bike out by the farthest-away sheep pens (close to the big metal shed our landlord kept his old tractors in), and I saw a car pull in to the driveway. I didn't recognize it, but I wasn't terribly concerned at first; we lived right by a highway, people were often using our driveway to turn around in, and our landlord sometimes had other people over with him. It wasn't until I recognized them that I began to get concerned.

When I say I recognized them, I don't mean they were real people. I meant that I had one of those "the plot fills itself in via Just Knowing Things" moments. So I Just Knew that these two people were with a particularly nasty "Christian" sect in the dream's world that makes the Westboro Baptists look like pleasant people. I got on my bike and immediately sped to the door and got inside, locking the door. A woman got out of the car; aside from the terrifying look in her face, she looked like a harmless 50-something grandma lady. She came to the door, and... well, the next part is hard to explain in text, but basically she began talking to me through the door, even though I was hidden by a curtain over the door's window. She sounded calm, but she had something evil in her voice; she was Right, and anyone who wasn't a part of her sect was an infidel worthy of death. As she's talking, and I'm getting more and more scared, she unlocks the outside door somehow, and starts to work on the inside door. She gets it open finally, and I slam the door shut on her and re-lock it, then stick a chair under the door. But I get the sense that she is going to find a way in, and I don't know what she's going to do, but it isn't good. I grabbed my phone and called 911 and was sobbing in fear as I told the dispatcher what was going on, who was at my door and what she was doing. (Note: my dream self was being a lot more emotional than the part of me that was watching the dream.)

It was about that time my brain went "Nope, fuck that crap," and woke me up. The dream scared me so much that I was having thoughts like "If I was in that house again, I would buy a gun, put bars on all the windows, invest in deadbolts and various other locks that can't be undone from the outside, and probably a 20-foot tall chain link fence all around the property, with razor wire around the top, and one of those fancy rich-people electronic gates with an armed guard in his little guard box. Oh yeah, and a secret escape tunnel." But that wasn't enough, because I Just Knew that if she couldn't get in and kill me in person, she would just set the house on fire with me in it.

I couldn't sleep after that dream. I tried continuing the dream in my mind's eye with me pulling out a gun and shooting her in self defense, then taking my family and moving somewhere in the city with lots of concerned neighbors keeping an eye out, but part of the information in the "You Just Know Things" download of the dream told me that we had done something to piss them off (even if that was just as simple as being noticed by them), and even if the scary woman who tried breaking into our house was killed, they would just send others after us. I'm not sure even Witness Protection would have been enough.

So yeah, I have had dreams with hideous inhuman beasts stalking in the shadows, and I was just like "Cool!" But somebody's scary grandmother from an extremist Christian sect, that's the REAL monster. Probably because she was actually a realistic threat; there very well could be someone or even a group of someones just like her, out in the world. So it's no wonder I couldn't get back to sleep, when part of me wanted to bar the windows of the apartment and buy a gun just in case she was real.

I think [ profile] billroper will agree

Oct. 20th, 2014 07:09 pm
gorgeousgary: (Default)
[personal profile] gorgeousgary
This came to me at lunch today while reading sports news. To the obvious tune...

You picked a fine time to beat us, Lou Seal
It should be our team as champs on the field
I’m sure you had reasons
To speed our offseason
But this loss will take months to heal(*)
You picked a fine time to beat us, Lou Seal

(*) Until pitchers and catchers report next February, at the very least…

Monday: Still not out of the cave

Oct. 20th, 2014 06:53 pm
archangelbeth: Bleary-eyed young woman peers up, pillow obscuring the lower half of her face. Text reads: SO not a morning person. (So Not A Morning Person)
[personal profile] archangelbeth
Maybe it's hormones. Maybe it's people not behaving according to what my understanding of the IEP is. Maybe it's this headache that has not truly left me all day.

Maybe I can get some Cope together after dinner.

Havva Quote
There is scarcely any situation in which a lady can be placed, more admirably adapted to test her good breeding, than in the sleeping cabin of a steam-boat.

INwatch+Bookwatch )

Dragons under fold )

Dear Yuletide Author

Oct. 20th, 2014 08:32 am
elf: Petalwing in snow, saying "Yuletide!" (Yuletide)
[personal profile] elf
I missed out on nominations this time--that means I wasn't able to nominate my beloved Ghost Soup Infidel Blue, and none of the remaining fandoms have the exact character choices available for The Fic Of My Heart. That's good news for you--it means you can write The Fic Of Your Heart, and I will not be disappointed! I worked hard to pick fandoms where I could honestly say I'd love anything I got, and I didn't want any of them more than the others.

I am a strong (avid, fervid) believer in Optional Details Are Optional. Because of that, and aforementioned scheduling fail on my part, I'm nominating all my fandoms with "any" this year--but I figure I should give you some plotbunny options so you don't have to panic about what I might like, especially since my journal's been mostly inactive for the past year or so and you can't tell what my tastes are. (They haven't changed; I've just been quiet recently. Feel free to poke at my past "yuletide" or "plotbunnies" tagged posts to get an idea of my scope of interests.) I have a habit of focusing on the specific nominated characters when writing prompts, but don't feel limited to those! If you like the fandom but your favorite character wasn't nominated, I'd be happy to read that story!

What I like: Explicit fic (although I also enjoy genfic), weird consent issues, canon-compliant fic (or rather, "canon-compliant if you squint," because I don't actually believe Kirk and Spock were boinking between missions), vastly imbalanced relationship dynamics, humor, sneak crossovers, overt crossovers, slash, accidental soul bonds, sex pollen, missing scenes, PWP, epistolary fic, hooker!fic, plot-heavy fic, fic that makes me rethink a character, fic that changes how I understand canon. My bulletproof kink is breathplay. Obviously, these should not all be in the same fic. (If you feel really inspired, you're welcome to try that!) Don't feel limited by this, or worried if what you want to write doesn't hit anything on this list--this isn't "everything I like," and not even "everything I like most." It's just "a short list of what I can think of right now that I like."

Squicks/Triggers: Not a problem! No known triggers that can be hit by fic, and very very few squicks, which are not likely to come up. (This is not a challenge.) (No, I'm not listing them; I'm that confident that you wouldn't write them for a stranger. Non-strangers are welcome to experiment.) I don't mind brutal fic, character death, or unhappy endings. (Also not a challenge.) Basically, very easy to write for -- I love a broad range of tropes, writing styles, tones and genres.

What I don't normally read (which doesn't mean "don't write this," but if your muse isn't leading you in these directions, don't go out of your way to add them): ABO of any sort, werewolves, scat, high school/college/coffee shop AUs, "name on the body" soulmate fic, Homestuck anything (I have a liveblog and am trying to avoid spoilers for things I haven't seen yet. Like trolls.), Ghost Soup Infidel Gold (what were the showrunners thinking?!),

If you're really concerned, find a mod or someone in Yulechat to have them ask me--but mostly, go with "I like everything, even the things I don't like." Write the fic you want to write, 'cos that's the fic I want to read.

On to the specific fandoms (which is long, and includes the bits in the AO3 prompt, and you don't need to read any of this):
Glitch, Daria, Elfquest, M.A.S.H., MST3K, ABVH )

Signal boosting!

Oct. 20th, 2014 10:20 am
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
[personal profile] naamah_darling
Still trying to round up people for Sargon's Patreon!

He's offering writing advice, which is all good stuff.

At the very least, go read "Poison Fog", an excellent atmospheric and creepy short story he wrote to illustrate the specific points he's been talking about.

He had to spend a big chunk of yesterday up on the roof patching our chimney, which has been leaking.  We can't afford to do it properly, so it's makeshift repairs until we can.

Also, I need a new computer.  The casing of this one is cracked, and despite mucking about with the software, the hardware has aged to the point that it can barely handle the modest demands I make of it.  (Like, it can't.  Not without crashing.)  I've got another machine, a really nice refurbished one, on layaway at our local computer business.  The price is definitely right, but I still am gonna have trouble paying it.  I have $200 left, and need to give them $100 of that this month.

And, yeah, they aren't going to raise our food stamps.  They cut SNAP benefits for everyone in the state pretty much.  Everyone we've spoken to who is on benefits has said the same thing.  Their money got slashed.  The extra funding the federal government was funneling into food programs has run out.  The state pulled the plug.  So we're not getting that $200 back.  And that pretty much fucks us.  That's how close to the bone we run.

I hate doing this.  I hate that basically all I do is ask for help.  It's not my fault, but I'm stuck trying to make up for it, I'm bad at it, and it sucks having to do it.  And it might never quit.

I'm so tired of this shit.  I wish there was a way out, and there's just . . . not.  Nothing I can control.  Because I'm sick.  Which is why I need the help.  That I'm not getting enough of. 

So please, give Sargon's Patreon a look.  Boost the signal.  One-time donations can be made to (food and housing, the most important stuff), or (computer and cats, the unfortunately less important stuff).

Thank you, everyone.  For being patient.  For being generous.  For understanding.

This week in Authors Behaving Badly

Oct. 20th, 2014 08:25 am
annathepiper: (Buh?)
[personal profile] annathepiper

The Internet blew up over the weekend with the news that the Guardian had run a piece by author Kathleen Hale–in which Hale describes actually stalking a reviewer who’d given her a less-than-positive review on Goodreads. The *thunk* sound you may have heard was the sound of the Internet’s collective jaw hitting the floor.

I first saw this come up at the Bitchery over here, and shortly thereafter saw posts go up at Dear Author and on Jim Hines’ blog as well. All three posts and most of the comments in them are in accord that Ms. Hale went so far over the line that she left the line in another state entirely behind her.

Me, I’m going to take this opportunity to reiterate my personal policy re: reviews of my work. I don’t read them. I’m on Goodreads, but I make a specific point of avoiding reading any of the reviews on Faerie Blood, Valor, or Vengeance. All I’ll look at is the aggregate rating on those books, since I have them on a my-books shelf. Likewise, I do not rate my own books either. If a standalone review on a blog somewhere comes across my radar, I’ll go look at it–but I will not engage with that review unless it’s clear that I can do so without making the reviewer or commenters uncomfortable. I strongly feel that it’s important to let people be able to discuss your book without you looking over their shoulders.

Y’all have probably noticed that I’ve backed off heavily in writing up reviews of books, too. Part of this has been because I simply haven’t had as much time, what with writing my own stuff. But part of it has also been the increasing trend I’ve seen of authors reacting badly to reviews–even to three-star reviews. I see a surprising amount of unhappiness about three-star reviews, in fact. And I’ve seen more and more reports of authors dogpiling on reviewers, which for my money, just isn’t right.

For the record, if you’ve reviewed anything I’ve written, I’m happy you did so. Even if it’s three stars. Hell, even if it’s one star. I promise not to take it personally.

And if I do, I will never, repeat, NEVER engage you about it. DO NOT ENGAGE is the golden rule here. I just wish Ms. Hale had followed it when she was reminded.

ETA: I have seen a bunch of people in comment threads asking what the Guardian was possibly thinking by running Ms. Hale’s piece. Dara has suggested to me that they may be looking at it in conjunction with the ongoing GamerGate debacle. Given all the stalking and harassment involved with that, I could buy that as a possible way that the Guardian might be looking at this.

Mirrored from

So, in a random burst of insanity...

Oct. 20th, 2014 02:04 pm
filkerdave: (Default)
[personal profile] filkerdave

It's a long way from actually planning a trip to go, but I appear to have acquired a membership to Archipelacon, June 25–28, 2015. It'll be a month after the Sasquan meeting in Spokane, WA and a week after Concertino in Boxborough, MA.

Did I mention that it's in Åland?

That I'm even considering this is crazy.
chanter_greenie: paratroopers Talbert and Smith in Carentan, Tab looking delighted, Smith embarrassed (BoB - Carentan: Tab and Smithy ack!)
[personal profile] chanter_greenie
I have a type. Dammit!

For context, I've been reading a few of [personal profile] rose_of_pollux's fics lately. Not the Carmen San Diego ones, although I really should stick my nose in those again. These had to do with an entirely different series, although given the multiple canonmelds... anyway.

Cue squee over a certain pair of corporals. Cue reference to one of said corporals taking care of the other through a fairly serious illness. Also cue, unrelated, a nasty blinking villain calling one of them a nursemaid multiple times.

Aaaaaand cue me really, badly wanting to see that certain fiery Frenchman acting as nurturer. If it's him looking after his badly ill friend as referenced in that other fic (or a couple other fics where roles are reversed), yes please.

I sharding well have a type! Sylvain, Gene, Quinn, Savvy, now LeBeau--oops, I just spilled the proverbial beans there, didn't I--dammit! What the frak *is* it with me and Francophone characters in competent/caretaker mode? Jeez.

I don't know whether to be embarrassed or not, here.

October Creative Jam

Oct. 20th, 2014 02:01 am
dialecticdreamer: My work (Default)
[personal profile] dialecticdreamer
The October Creative Jam, under the theme "Paradigm Shifting Without a Clutch," was /wonderful/! I hadn't realized how many words I'd gotten /written/ until I tallied them all up! Adding in the Heliodrax post, and what I've bashed out as first draft for a very LONG project... almost 6k words during the Jam.

Creative Jam responses:

Yesterday's Cutting Edge


Seeing the Matrix

Yesterday's Cutting Edge

A series, technically:
This One Slipped
Changing to Light and Smoke

My favorite, which is part of [personal profile] ysabetwordsmith's Polychrome Heroics world, though that is not obvious from the piece:

Clutching At the Future

And, squeaking in “under the wire” for Sunday,

Culture Shock
WARNINGS: some language and fears of homophobia.


Total word count: 3827

ed: "Smart" quotes are stupid.


Oct. 20th, 2014 09:48 am
filkerdave: (Default)
[personal profile] filkerdave

Marten is a good friend.

Poem: "The Life of the Dead" Part 2

Oct. 20th, 2014 12:33 am
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This story belongs to the series Love Is For Children which includes "Love Is for Children," "Hairpins," "Blended," "Am I Not," "Eggshells," "Dolls and Guys,""Saudades," "Querencia," "Turnabout Is Fair Play," "Touching Moments," "Splash," "Coming Around," "Birthday Girl," "No Winter Lasts Forever," "Hide and Seek," "Kernel Error," "Happy Hour," "Green Eggs and Hulk,""kintsukuroi," "Little and Broken, but Still Good," and "Up the Water Spout."

Fandom: The Avengers
Characters: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanova, Phil Coulson, Betty Ross, Clint Barton, Tony Stark, JARVIS, Bruce Banner
Medium: Poetry
Warnings: Past imprisonment, torture, experimentation. PTSD. Flashbacks. Dissociation. Cyclic amnesia. Temporal trauma. Broken people. Internalized oppression. Low sense of self-worth. Self-destructive behavior. Shame. Depression. Suicidal ideation. Physical and emotional whump.
Summary: Bucky experiences life in fragments as his memory cycles through past and present.
Notes: Hurt/Comfort. Mercy. Freedom. Good and evil. Family of choice. Team as family. Trauma and recovery. Healing. Friendship. Love. Nonsexual intimacy. No sex. Trust. Memory. Artificial intelligence. Safety and security. Competence. #coulsonlives

Begin with Part 1.

Read more... )

Ficlet - Silk and Steel

Oct. 19th, 2014 09:49 pm
mdlbear: (space colony)
[personal profile] mdlbear

She called me "Mel". Nobody's called me that since Geoff died -- he was the only one. Just like Lex was the only one who calls me "Mom". I'm Lady Melody to everyone else; that's what I'm used to.

She asked if she could play me! Asked! All formal, as if we hadn't been talking online for more than a year.

"My Lady -- please. May I play you? I brought you strings." Martin silk and steel, all the way from Earth. I had no idea they were still making them. And that song!*

I think I'm in love again. It's been so long.

* Silk and Steel

(First posted as a comment in the October Crowdfunding Creative Jam in response to a prompt by zeeth-kyrah.)

Just filling in a little more back-story. I hadn't really been thinking of Lady M's second lover as female, but it seemed to fit. I haven't worked out the timeline details yet; I may have to change "seven" to "many" years in the lyric to make it work.

Heliodrax: The World Archive

Oct. 19th, 2014 09:46 pm
dialecticdreamer: My work (Default)
[personal profile] dialecticdreamer
A/N: the second part of “Heliodrax: form to maturity, part 2 of 2” has been delayed due to slow response from the inter-library loan. Sorry, all.

The World Archive

The World Archive is more than a place, a collection of priceless artifacts and literature of every imagining, it is the process of finding, classifying, and preserving knowledge which is nearly a religion among the Heliodrax.
Read more... )

Plot Patterns Illustrated

Oct. 19th, 2014 11:35 pm
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
 Not every plot looks like an inverted checkmark.  Look at all these!

The Evolution of Food

Oct. 19th, 2014 11:07 pm
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
 Explore the massive changes in peaches, watermelons, and corn over millennia.  Science is delicious!

Sunday: It is a very nice cave

Oct. 19th, 2014 11:23 pm
archangelbeth: Bleary-eyed young woman peers up, pillow obscuring the lower half of her face. Text reads: SO not a morning person. (So Not A Morning Person)
[personal profile] archangelbeth
I read a book, killed pixels, and hid in the cave. I am hopeful that tomorrow I can get things done that I should have done yesterday and today. (Oh, oh, I wrote about 125 words! Then people came down and started talking and I didn't have my headphones on so gah.)

Havva Quote
1. Log all the way into the game
2. Type /console ffxglow 0 and hit enter
3. Type /console ffxdeath 0 and hit enter

(You don't have to restart WoW, either. Turns off the glow right there! I made a macro.)

INwatch+Bookwatch )

Dragons under fold )

2014 Bookpost #6

Oct. 19th, 2014 09:20 pm
gorgeousgary: (Default)
[personal profile] gorgeousgary
Putting a rare, quiet weekend to good use, here's the July booklist and commentary. On the first real fall weekend (temperature-wise), a look back to the middle of summer isn't a bad thing.

43. Mockingjay, Suzanne Collins
44. Spellbound, Book II of the Grimnoir Chronicles, Larry Correia
45. Warbound, Book III of the Grimnoir Chronicles, Larry Correia
46. Hugo Best Fanzine nominees
47. Dreamers of the Day, Mary Doria Russell (*)
48. The Meathouse Man, George R.R. Martin (writer), Raya Golden (artist)
49. Saga, Vol. 2, Brian K. Vaughan (writer), Fiona Staples (artist)
50. Neptune's Brood, Charles Stross

Highlights and Lowlights )

Read "Spinward" by Dialecticdreamer

Oct. 19th, 2014 07:27 pm
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
 [personal profile] dialecticdreamer has written the science fiction ficlet "Spinward" to someone else's prompt in the Creative Jam, but it's so awesome I wanted to share anyhow.  If you enjoy positive stories about human/AI partnerships, definitely give this a look.

The Monstrous Feminine

Oct. 19th, 2014 02:18 pm
naamah_darling: Spotted hyena teeth. (Teeth)
[personal profile] naamah_darling
Obviously, as a woman-shaped, read-as-a-woman person whose relationship to their mental illness, and to some extent, their overall identity, is "lycanthrope", I have an investment of the idea of the monstrous feminine.

I am deeply devoted to the idea of being our own monsters. I am deeply devoted to the idea that we should be allowed to reclaim those parts of ourselves in all their power and all their occasional ugliness, because they are vital parts of the human experience, and having them used against us was largely an effort to deny our humanity by denying us those parts of ourselves.  By calling them abhorrent and ugly and inhuman.  And I call bullshit on that.

This really great exchange happened over on Tumblr, and I feel it's worth duplicating some of what I said here.

Tumblr user sunteaflower posted the following:

We call ships ‘she.’ We call our war machines ‘women.’ We compare women to black widows and vipers. And you’re going to tell me it’s not ‘lady-like’ to scream, to take up space, to fight and demand respect and do whatever the hell I want. You’ve looked at nuclear bombs and been so in awe that you could only name them after women. Don’t try to down-play my power.


Then claidilady protested, pulling some of the above apart point by (very good) point, and summing up with:

this is why i was so upset that when discussions of weapons & women/the feminine came about it seemed to call this all positive and empowering instead of fundamentally identifying the societal coding of women and their sexuality as dangerous and evil

. . .

i do not want to be an atom bomb. i am not an imprint or an echo of the destructive forces of the patriarchy and have no desire to be associated with black widows or vipers or war machines. my interest in destruction of societal norms which harm people cannot be equated to an industrial military complex, neither can my sexuality or my being. 

it is not the same kind of power, it is not the same kind of force. 

we can be powerful without wearing the masks of men.

And I just love both of these so much.

And here's what I said:

I agree with everything in both these posts.  Yes, that’s possible.

I’m happy to be a war machine.  I’m happy to be a viper.  I’m happy to be a mighty gunship, or a nuclear bomb.  Because I’m still me, and I get to decide what those things mean.  I don’t care who made me, or who shaped me, I belong to myself now.

There’s a reason that shit like Skynet is scary, a reason robot rebellion/AIs becoming sentient and then wreaking havoc is a perennial theme.  Because people are afraid of the moment when that which was created to be subservient becomes self-willed and self-aware.  And they should be.

No, women weren’t created to be subservient.  But the patriarchy thinks that.  And the subtext of the original post reads, to me, as someone saying “I don’t care if you mean it as an insult either forehanded or backhanded. You liken me to a thing of power, or things of power to me, because you fear me on some level. That gives me power. Whether you meant it to or not. You can’t take that back. I may be a war machine, but I’m MY war machine.”

I’m a huge fan of the monstrous/destructive feminine for a reason. Those things have been used to deny women their humanity for centuries and there are a lot of people like me who are still seen as monsters.  People like me who are mentally ill, who don’t fit preconceived notions of gender, who have a body other people sometimes deem loathsome.  People like me who were raised by monsters, hardened by monsters, beaten by a monstrous society, until they became monsters … their own monsters.

Gaze too long into the abyss, yes, you become a monster.  You don’t become part of the abyss unless you jump.

There’s nothing wrong with being a monster.  There is nothing wrong with being a thing scarred and shaped by the forces that tried to destroy you.  You still belong to you.  You can still be the weapon that wields itself.  You can still be a good person.  You can still work against the forces that shaped you with pain and oppression.

You can choose to say “I am not a monster, I will not be what they made me.”  That’s incredibly noble.  I respect the shit out of that, because that is a hard road.  I salute all y’all who have made that choice.

But there’s another choice, the choice to take what they made you and be that in a way that defies them at every turn.  And that is every bit as laudable, as honorable, as brave.  That road is also hard.  Y’all who bear the wounds openly and with no shame, who embrace yourselves as things that can be horrifying and dangerous, but who can also choose to be tender and protective, y’all are my sisters, my brothers.  I love you all.

Some of us grow wings and new, shinier skins, rise up and fly away, and dedicate ourselves to being different, as different from the forces that harmed us as we can possibly be.

Some of us take the fur and fangs and claws we were forced to grow, we take the toxic waste of our blood, the jet fuel of our anger, the nuclear fission powering our hearts, and the giant robot Jaegers of our love for one another, and we use them to protect, defend, and when necessary, yes, we will use them to fight.

I’m not ashamed of what abuse and hardship and bigotry made me.  I will never be ashamed of that.  I might never feel the need to rise above that.  Because it did a lot of things to me, but one thing it didn’t do: make me into an ugly person.

I am fully human.  That is not up for debate.  But those who do not see me as human? I’m not here to change their minds by proving them wrong.  I’m here to love my monstrous sisters and brothers into being strong again.

Whatever beauty is in me is mine.  I created it.  I will always be proud of that.  I will always be beautiful. 

And because I am what monsters made me, yes, I will always be a monster, too.

I will always be a beautiful monster.

I will not rise above what I am not ashamed to be.

And even I gotta say wow.

Of course it matters to me when people try to insult me, no matter what words they use.  It may be ridiculous to try to insult me with something I'm not afraid to be, but I will still react negatively to the fact that someone is trying to insult me even if the specific insult is less than insulting.  Tactically I may choose to react as though they have complimented me as a way of pulling the teeth of a verbal attacker, tactically I may challenge their insult in order to point out how stupid they're being, but I am fully aware that I have been verbally attacked!

It's just powerfully protective to realize that the things they are calling you, while intended to be hurtful, probably are not bad things to be.  So even if they are true, you haven't been insulted.  In reacting to particular words, we become bogged down in specific semantics when what we should be reacting to is the intent.  Instead of "I'm not a bitch!" or "You have no right to call me a bitch!" we can say "You have no right to try to insult me, period.  Doesn't matter what word you use."

And I think I'm gonna leave that there.

Content also published over at Silver Into Steel.  Comment here or there, doesn't matter!

Two years

Oct. 19th, 2014 02:40 pm
wcg: Once Upon A Lifetime (oual)
[personal profile] wcg
It's a very different kind of day today. Cool and crisp, with a sun washed late autumn sky. One of those scenic days that people think of when they think of fall. There's no cold rain, no wet roads, nor the flashing lights of the ambulance sitting in front of my house.

Yet somehow this is the second anniversary of Paula's death. My daughter Grace came over earlier and we had a late breakfast together. Then I drove out to the cemetery just as I have most days these last 103 weeks since her funeral. Now I'm sitting here, a tiny black dog asleep in my lap, typing out these words.

I miss her.

Done last week (20141012 Su - 18 Sa)

Oct. 19th, 2014 11:11 am
mdlbear: the positively imaginary half of a cubic mandelbrot set (Default)
[personal profile] mdlbear

Lots of puttering this week -- sorting unpaid bills, re-arranging shelves, a little cooking, a little cleaning, lots of mostly-uninteresting work.

Cat cuddles. I really think the cats are better antidepressants than my SSRI, which I've been cutting back on without noticable effects. So far.

And I wrote a poem! Go read: Shifts (also on DW and LJ; follow the linkies). It's already gotten some interesting reactions. I obviously need to update my Lit pages -- there are only three poems there, and I know I've written more than that!

Links, as usual, in the notes.

raw notes, with links )


Oct. 19th, 2014 03:51 am
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
Things I enjoy about my current life: not having to wear 5-40 layers of clothing.

Poem: Shifts

Oct. 18th, 2014 10:36 pm
mdlbear: the positively imaginary half of a cubic mandelbrot set (Default)
[personal profile] mdlbear
There's that moment when everything changes,
But really it's just you,
Seeing things differently.

When you realize that the solid bench you're sitting on
Is mostly empty space between particles.
When you learn that even the particles
Aren't really particles, and that light isn't entirely waves either.

When you see the way special relativity views velocity
As simple rotation in four-space, 
And you study general relativity and realize
That it's geometry all the way down.

When you suddenly get recursion,
Reading the Algol 60 Report, with its crystalline prose
And elegantly compact rules.
When Goedel blows the top of your head off,
And you understand that some things simply can't be proved.
When you see how elegantly Turing applies the same trick.

When you realize that a little of the Unknowable
Isn't part of the Unknown anymore,
Because now you know why you can't know it.

First published in a comment in the October 2014 Crowdfunding Creative Jam, on the theme "Paradigm Shifting Without a Clutch."

This is entirely autobiographical, though the sequence has been messed with a little to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative.

Mirrored from My poetry there is in really rough shape; hopefully I'll get a little work done on it soon.

Also adopted by [personal profile] ysabetwordsmith as part of her Schrodinger's Heroes series, which makes it unintentionally canonical fanfic for an imaginary TV show. Talk about shifting without a clutch! At least it has synchromesh. Or was that synchrotron?

Saturday: ...unnnnngh.

Oct. 18th, 2014 10:50 pm
archangelbeth: Woman doing a zombie "braaaaains" pose (Braaains!)
[personal profile] archangelbeth
I am a ball of stress, don't mind me.

I need to do editing things, writing things, reading things, cleaning things... I just want to hide in a cave right now. And possibly kill pixels.

URLs I wish to remember...
(Jokka have 3 sexes, and 2 chances to shift between them...)

Havva Quote
It happened one summer that a curse fell on my family. The details aren’t important. We could be here all night with who married whom and who cursed what. There was a curse, that’s all you need to know.

INwatch+Bookwatch )

Dragons under fold )

Poem: "Over the Misty Mountains"

Oct. 18th, 2014 04:55 pm
ysabetwordsmith: (Karavai)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This is the freebie for the October 2014 Creative Jam. It was inspired by a prompt from [personal profile] ellenmillion. It also fills the "Far Over the Misty Mountains" square in my 9-1-14 card for the [community profile] genprompt_bingo fest. This poem belongs to the Torn World project.

Read more... )

Initial impressions of Yosemite

Oct. 18th, 2014 01:45 pm
annathepiper: (Final Test)
[personal profile] annathepiper

Yosemite, OS X 10.10, finally dropped, so I’ve gone ahead and updated my laptop Aroree with it. So far my initial impressions of it are favorable. They’ve changed the overall design of it somewhat to make it better fit with the look of iOS 7 and iOS 8, which doesn’t surprise me. And performance-wise, my laptop now seems zippier, and I’m all for that.


As part of this update, I also pulled down iTunes 12, and I’ve got to admit that that’s the thing that made me go ‘buh?’ first–not because of the changed layout of the program per se, but because now there’s a red icon for iTunes on the dock. Which is a distinct change from the years of blue iTunes icons we’ve had, and I’m not sure I approve of changing the color like that. I keep thinking something’s gone wrong every time I look at the dock and see that red icon there–or otherwise that something needs my attention, since “red circle” in Apple’s visual language has for so long meant “there’s a notification here that needs you to do something”.

Inside iTunes itself though I think I’m good with the new layout. It’s a bit less cluttered, and while I’m going to have to get used to changing icons on the toolbar along the top to see what I want to see, that’s not difficult. It’s similar to clicking things on my web browser, so that’s all good. And I particularly like the prettier layout for podcasts. Still to determine: how well this flavor of iTunes keeps things synced with my phone, particularly the recurring issue I’ve had with iTunes periodically deciding to duplicate some of my podcast feeds for no apparent reason.


It’s pretty neat that I can message Dara via the Messages app on the computer and have it ping her on her phone. For that matter, the same conversation shows up on my phone and iPad, too. I haven’t tried to use the computer to make a call yet, but I think it’s pretty neat that that’s doable too.

I’m also going to want to try composing mail on the computer and seeing if I can pick it up again one of the devices, or vice versa. I don’t know how often I’ll use that feature, but it’ll be neat to try it out.


And speaking of mail, no huge functionality changes here as near as I can tell, other than Handoff. I’m seeing that a prior behavior that was irritating me still happens, but Dara’s theory is that this behavior is actually on purpose.

Specifically, it’s a behavior wherein if you have multiple mailboxes, let’s say A and B… and you get mail at Mailbox A but then move it over into Mailbox B, but then try to reply to the mail… it automatically defaults to replying from your B address. This is fine except when I’m trying to answer mail that goes to mailing lists. I keep forgetting which address I’m pointing at, and keep having to resend mailing list mail. Since this behavior has persisted through Mountain Lion, Mavericks, and now Yosemite, I’m clearly just going to have to make some tweaks to how I organize my mail.

I’m having to finally pull a lot of mail off my Gmail account anyway, since I’ve gotten tired of choking when dealing with my Gmail accounts. I’ve seen ongoing problems with Mail refusing to download new mail from Gmail if I have a number of messages above a certain threshold. So before I updated to Yosemite, I’d already pulled a lot of mail off my Gmail accounts to try to reduce the amount of data that the program had to deal with. Thus, I don’t know if the problem persists in Yosemite or not. I’ll have to keep an eye out.


I do note with pleasure though that another long-standing bug does appear to have gotten fixed with printing of certain PDFs. One of our local utilities that we pay was doing something with its PDFs every time I tried to download the monthly bills, something that caused the files to get garbled whenever I tried to print them. So I’d have to mail them to Dara to let HER print them, since she was still on Snow Leopard for the longest time. Once she upgraded to Mavericks, though, the problem happened on her box too.

Now though, with Yosemite, the problem seems to have finally gone away. So I can print these bills again. Yay!

Weird computer name problems

I did see a new weird thing happen, though. My computer was mysteriously renaming itself from Aroree to Aroree-2, and I couldn’t figure out why. I’m apparently not the only person who was having this problem, according to my searches.

Renaming the box back to Aroree didn’t help, since the name would revert after a few minutes. What I finally had to do to fix this was to reboot into Repair mode, do a Disk Utility disk repair, and then reboot back into the OS. After having done that, the name change back to Aroree appears to have finally stuck. But any of y’all out there who’ve updated to Yosemite, you might keep an eye out for this.

iCloud Drive

I have this finally available, yay! Another thing I haven’t yet tried anything with, but it’s nice to see it there. It finally makes Pages potentially actually useful to me. And the reasons I care about this are a) Pages doesn’t talk to Dropbox, and b) as an iPad app, Pages has a somewhat friendlier experience than what I’m currently using to write on my iPad, which is DocsToGo.

For my next full book, I may try to use Pages instead of Word + DocsToGo, and see how that goes. I’ll report on that as it happens!

That’s everything I can think of to comment on right now. How about the rest of you out there? Who’s installed Yosemite and what do you think of it?

Mirrored from


Oct. 18th, 2014 09:19 pm
jeshyr: Blessed are the broken. Harry Potter. (Default)
[personal profile] jeshyr
Status report ... mostly health stuff )

Can't think of anything else just now. Despite all the above health crap I am basically happy and doing OK emotionally.


State of the Ricky

Oct. 18th, 2014 10:31 pm
jeshyr: Blessed are the broken. Harry Potter. (Default)
[personal profile] jeshyr
TL;DR version: About the same.

This is incredibly boring, but being able to look back is useful.

Full status report here... )

dialecticdreamer: My work (Default)
[personal profile] dialecticdreamer
Clearing the Air
By Dialecticdreamer/Sarah Williams
Part 2 of 7
Word count: 1293

Warnings: brief question about suicide in the abstract.

:: This takes place in Ysabetwordsmith's Polychrome Heroics universe, and continues Aidan's visit with Hannah, Danso and the other children. My eternal, endless thanks for her permission and feedback, support and gleeful laughter. ::

Review Part ONE

“Every time you worked in the garden? But... didn't you figure it out?” Danso shook his head.

Read more... )

Crowdfunding Creative Jam

Oct. 18th, 2014 12:36 am
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
The October Crowdfunding Creative Jam is now open on Dreamwidth and on LiveJournal, with a theme of "paradigm shifting without a clutch." Come give us prompts, or claim prompts to make stuff yourself!  [personal profile] dialecticdreamer is offering to write something for each person who leaves prompts.

From My Prompts

"Find You Lost, Keep You Found" is a story by [personal profile] thebonesofferalletters about a brother and sister getting back together after a long separation.

"Saving the World Is Like Driving Stick" by [personal profile] alexconall is a microfic about activism. So very true!

"Clutching at the Future" by [personal profile] dialecticdreamer is an adorable family ficlet, set in Polychrome Heroics although it's not obvious from just this snippet.  ALL THE FEELS.

"Changing to Light and Smoke" by [personal profile] dialecticdreamer is a creeptastic story about environmental apocalypse.

What I Have Written

"Paradigm Shifting Without a Clutch"
A Polychrome Heroics poem about gaining a very disturbing superpower.
70 lines, Buy It Now = $35

"Believing What You Know Ain't So" 
From this I got the free-verse poem "Believing What You Know Ain't So." While working a summer job at the Tef, Eric and TeJay discover that some of the ideas they got from their respective families aren't as accurate as they used to think.
69 lines, Buy It Now = $34.50

"Over the Misty Mountains"
This session's freebie is about when the barrier falls between Slunai territory and the Lichenwold in Torn World.

"The Sounds You Can't Unhear"
This inspired the free-verse poem "The Sounds You Can't Unhear," which is a direct sequel to "A Voice from Beyond." Seth thinks about the jumbled sounds of Noc's speech and the challenges of human-cetacean relations. It's sad, but hopeful, and it very much focuses on paradigm shifts caused by hearing things that suddenly make a lot more sense than they used to.
58 lines, Buy It Now = $20

"Dr. Doohickey and the Smile Machine"
Backchannel prompt from [personal profile] chordatesrock inspired the free-verse poem "Dr. Doohickey and the Smile Machine." Therapy doesn't work for everyone, but everyone needs coping skills to deal with paradigm shifts. Some people just like to build their own.
71 lines, Buy It Now = $35.50

Other Awesome Entries

"Spinward" by [personal profile] dialecticdreamer is a story about a positive relationship between human and AI.  Some relationships don't fit neatly into boxes.

"She Called Me Mel" by [personal profile] mdlbear is a gorgeous ace love story, matched with a filk song.  Bring kleenex though, it's a bit of a tearjerker.

"Culture Shock" by [personal profile] dialecticdreamer is another Polychrome Heroics piece, mainly visible in construction workers doing the opposite of what's expected.  I love this fic; a surprise is something you didn't know you wanted until you got it.

Friday: ...still a day behind...

Oct. 18th, 2014 01:03 am
archangelbeth: Woman doing a zombie "braaaaains" pose (Braaains!)
[personal profile] archangelbeth
The kid is still sick, and thus non-functional, which pretty much puts a halt to my ability to brain.

Flicker-cat is still doing well, and there seems to be some slow... reduction in the over-reaction of Friskie and Dickens to the presence of OMG BLACK BASEMENT CAT. *sighs at cat drama*

Crucible has migrated to Apple. They have it classified as "Historical" last I looked. I tried to correct that. *facepalm* Ah, good, the correction took. (Tip: select "fantasy > general" first, not "fantasy > historical." (Look, I saw The Princess Bride on the Amazon top 100 for Historical Fantasy, so DO NOT JUDGE ME. >_> ))

(I tried to make the book something that could be read as the First Experience, if one wanted, and 50% sample at Smashwords -- but it is pretty "dark" in spots and people may want to be in a good emotional place. (Trigger warnings, basically.) So if it's not someone's cuppa tea, I am wryly understanding.)

Havva Quote
My hat hangs out vit all kinds ov krezy pipple.

INwatch+Bookwatch )

Dragons under fold )

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