Having struggled through this same inner turmoil all of my life, I want to share the one self care practice that has slowly over time made this much easier to cope with: Zen Meditation (zazen). This, combined with regular exercise and a healthy diet, has made a huge difference for me.

I struggle with both Bipolar II (defined as cyclic depressive periods without the mania of manic depression) and ADHD. The war inside your head that you're describing is very familar to me. As challenging as it is sometimes to sit zazen for even five minutes, this really, really helps.

I would highly recommend the book "Taking the Path of Zen" by Robert Aiken as a gentle and no nonsense introduction to this practice.