You are "should-ing" on yourself. Please stop.

Does your financial institution have online bill pay? If they don't, I'd strongly urge you to switch to one (such as a credit union), that does. Makes the whole process MUCH easier, imo - and perhaps even puts it in the realm of something that Colleen could do?

Hope you feel better soon. You sound not so much depressed as overwhelmed.

**hugs**