River: Aha[3]: the other part of the phone phobia

[mdlbear]

I think I must be able to read facial expressions better than I usually give myself credit for. I can recognize at least some emotions when I see them, at least enough to know that I have to ask for clarification.

I'm a lot worse at reading tone of voice. That probably has a lot to do with why I'm much more uncomfortable on the phone than I am with either text (which I can edit, and where I can take enough time to be very explicit about saying exactly what I mean) or face-to-face, (where I can get visual feedback and correct my mistakes immediately).

Comments

[wyld-dandelyon.livejournal.com]

I got better at reading - and meaningfully using - tone of voice when I started thinking of it in much the same way I do music.

And after someone explained to me that for most people, minor key = sad. (Minor key, and especially minor sevenths, are so beautiful in my ear that they make me feel happy, unless there's word-meanings to guide my brain the the other way.)

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

Everyone else is right. I know you have a musician's ear for melody, pitch, and tempo, and these are all things that modulate the spoken word to convey emotion and mood. You can teach yourself, and/or be taught, what the associations are.

Simplistically, if a person is speaking very quickly, at a slightly higher pitch than is normal for them, they're excited. If they're speaking quickly but with wide variations in pitch, they're probably upset and stressed. If they speak more slowly than usual, and in a lower pitch range, they're either depressed or tired. If they're speaking slowly, but in a more normal pitch, they may be putting a lot of thought into what they're saying. (I learned most of this in radio, from the point of view of modifying my own speech to express specific emotions. And did you know that even the average untrained person can hear the difference if an unseen speaker is smiling when they talk?)

[chaoswolf]

Been there too. Horrible place that. I can read selkit well enough to know he's tired and just woken up when I talk to him on the phone, but that's usually because he claims it's insomnia. Until he has a sleep study done to prove this theory, I'm going to call it that it's because I'm not there and insists on staying up until he must sleep during the day because it's the only time he'll be able to as long as we're seperated.

Reading him face-to-face is another story. I'm usually good at that, but still have trouble when he stays up for multiple hours after I claim to have gone to bed and insists on sleeping the next morning and taking over 2 hours to commune with the blanket until his back stops spazzing. You may wish to recommend some excercizes to him, as I know that there are a few you like.