The Mandelbear's Musings

Done Since 2026-05-31

2026-06-07T15:34:50Z

Bad week. I mean, really not a good week. It had its bright points -- most bad weeks do -- a common thread of love, friendship, and care. And grief is lessened by being shared. It was still a bad week.

Thursday our dear old-lady-cat Ticia crossed the Rainbow Bridge. There will be a full post in a day or three. Meanwhile if you're triggered by such things you'll want to skip over 0611Th. And maybe Wednesday and Friday.

Not a totally lost week, though; I got in five walks (missing Wednesday and Thursday -- see above), and wrote a Songs for Saturday post, along with my usual Thankful Thursday.

Linkies: Ukraine and Moldova on course to start formal EU membership talks in June Sailing Alone Around the World, by Joshua Slocum - Standard Ebooks Disordered, Deficient, Dehumanized: How the Language of Aphantasia Research Shapes What We Think About It (more on Friday),

‘Happiness is not just about GDP’: ambitious plan or utopia? (More, including the whole report, on Saturday. Up to you to decide how it compares as Utopian fiction to The World As it Ought To Be, by Naomi Rivkis, which is the subject of a Goodreads ebook giveaway, and also on sale for $2.99 until the end of this month.)

Rage-inducing: DOD Officially Drops 180 Faiths From Military's Recognized Religion List

See you later this week.

( Notes & links, as usual. CW: pet death )

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Songs for Saturday: You Can Build a Choir From the Things You Find At Home

2026-06-06T10:24:35Z

This is an impressive ~~hack~~ bit of madness: Anyway, I Made a Choir - YouTube. Two hundred tracks.

And for that matter, why build a mainframe when you can just buy one on eBay. For a song. Of course there's a bit of a catch...

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Thankful Thursday

2026-06-04T13:38:33Z

Today I am thankful for...

Compassion.
A vet who makes house calls.
Ticia.
Bronx, for being gentle, caring, and mostly staying out of the way.
My chosen sister, N, and her husband G.
Loading the dishwasher for mindfulness and self-soothing.

( Content warning: pet death. More specifically: )

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PSA: The World As It Ought to Be ebook giveaway

2026-06-01T13:40:53Z

This morning Naomi Rivkis announced aGoodreads giveaway of 100 copies of her book, The World As It Ought to Be (Protopia #1)

The lucky 100 winners will be selected by lottery at the end of the month. Or, if you can't wait, or don't live in the US or Canada, go over to Naomi's website and buy yourself a copy now. It's on sale at $2.99 all month, and there are five or six different ways to buy if you prefer a format other than Kindle.

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Rabbit rabbit rabbit!

2026-06-01T05:51:58Z

Welcome to June, 2026!

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Done Since 2026-05-24

2026-05-31T12:40:03Z

Not a good week, for reasons I can't quite identify. Maybe it's the chronic pain that the 3g/day of paracetamol my GP suggested did little to touch. Maybe it's anticipatory grief, knowing that Ticia's health is declining. Maybe it's thinking about how little I got done. (And less about how little I got done in the last week, and more about the last year. Maybe the last half-decade.) Maybe it's worry about my son, trans and out of work in the nightmare that the US is becoming. Knowing that if I hadn't moved here, he could have moved in with me. Knowing that the US isn't going to get much (if at all) better in my lifetime. All of the above, I suppose. Much of it stuff that I have no control over. That doesn't keep it from being depressing.

And it's not that I didn't get anything done -- I did. I got my US taxes computed to the point where I could (and did!) file an extension, went for a walk every day (two shorter than usual but all over 2/3 of a kilometer), and learned a new word (zemblanity, the exact opposite of serendipity). But it wasn't enough.

Well, at least I can look forward to our trip to Majorca to see the eclipse in August. Provided it isn't ruined by things I can't control, but can't help worrying about.

Linkies: How British beavers help fight flooding from climate change : NPR Zorn's lemma ("The Axiom of Choice is obviously true, the well-ordering principle obviously false, and who can tell about Zorn's lemma?") Woodturning: A Different Take On Cubes! -- I find this guy's woodturning videos incredibly soothing. Mostly at 2x speed, with the sound off, but that's because of impatience. Which isn't really the point. Snails, Monks, and Murderous Rabbits: The Weird World Hidden in the Margins of Medieval Manuscripts. Celebrating Thirty Years of the Internet Archive with the ‘Class of 1996’ (and what does it say about me that I remember all that).

( Notes & links, as usual )

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Thankful Thursday

2026-05-28T13:01:00Z

Today I am thankful for...

Dried fruit.
Blue cheese that's spreadable if kept at room temperature. Good bread.
Compression gloves to go with the socks. Be nice if I'd remember to wear them at night, which is what I got them for.
Exercise putty. Which is also an excellent fidget. Fidget gadgets in general.
NSAIDs.

NO thanks for chronic pain and depression-or-whatever-the-frack-this-is.

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Done Since 2026-05-18

2026-05-24T14:32:39Z

It is now meterologically summer. Tomorrow's predicted temperature is 26°C (81°F). The little thermometer on the shelf by my desk says 26.5. I'd rather be cold, thanks -- it's easy to put layers on. Probably time to fold up my blanket.

Our flight back from Hamburg on Monday was 45 minutes. We spent at least that long waiting for our wheelchairs in Schiphol. The con was worth the ~~trouble~~ travel, but it might be too much for me next year. I'll be 80 by then. And between trigger finger, stiffness, and lack of practice, my hands weren't in any shape to play more than one or two songs per day on average, and I have to plan for the possibility that it won't improve much -- I may have to re-learn keyboard. It's only been 60-odd years...

See Saturday for the following quote: "See a provider if you’re feeling pain that lasts more than a few days without getting better." Um... how many months has it been?

Linkies: bad news first: The United States loses its status as a liberal democracy. Will probably go unreported by US mainstream media.

Then the corresponding good news: The EU Is Going Through a Trump-Fueled Breakup With Big Tech For obvious reasons.

Nostalgia: ~ rip.so :: the digital graveyard

Pretties: Artist Made Hundreds of Safari Animal Sculptures for His Town KLM commercial: Swan Take off

( Notes & links, as usual )

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Thankful Thursday

2026-05-21T11:51:35Z

Today I am thankful for...

A delightful filk con last weekend. NO thanks for exhausting journeys to and from.
Special thanks for the wheelchair assistants at Schiphol, who took good care of us despite bad planning and dispatching somewhere higher up in their organization.
Tasty food (buffet-style) included in the room rate. Tasty food in general, actually.
Left-overs.
Having found a replacement charger for Scarlett that, though probably a great deal less than optimal, at least appears to work.

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Done Since 2026-05-10

2026-05-18T20:31:25Z

We -- m, G, and I -- got back from (German filk con)D.F.D.F. a few hours ago. I think it was mostly good but I'm exhausted and should not be considered a reliable witness. The fact that we spent more time waiting for the wheelchairs we'd requested than actually in the air coming home may have something to do with that.

Like last year, the hotel was good and the food, which was included in the room rate, was excelent. I did a little singing in circles. The first night someone requested A Talk with the Middle-Sized Bear, which I followed, after a short delay, (because it was poker-chip bardic and I could) with A Tribute to the Middle-Aged Bear. Saturday I read the intro to N's upcoming book, Paleomythic. I think it went over well -- you could hear a pin drop after I finished. Sunday at the Dead Tired circle, I sang The Toolmakers (at m's request, so that they could sing their descant, which is spectacular). So, three songs and a prose poem. Not too bad considering how early I left the circles. I still didn't get much sleep, but slept better than I usually do at home. I blame the cats.

I'm too tired to find links tonight.

( Notes & links, as usual )

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Thankful Thursday

2026-05-14T06:24:30Z

Today I am thankful for...

Ticia and Bronx.
(Framework 12)Lilac.
Diclofenac and compression gloves. NO thanks for trigger finger and whatever is wrong with my left shoulder.
But thanks for them not being incapacitating.
D.F.D.F. this weekend.

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Done Since 2026-05-03

2026-05-10T11:00:40Z

Happy Mother's Day to those in a position to celebrate it. I'll be over here with the widowers and orphans. Meanwhile I'm getting depressed over how little I've gotten done recently. (Which, depending on how one counts, may include much of the last decade.)

On the other hand, I'm not actually in bad shape physically, considering. Walks six days out of seven. And I got some web work done, on naomi-rivkis.com and hyperspace-express.com/, specifically on the .../Books pages, because there's enough information about N's next book, Paleomythic to have gotten started on it. So I've been more productive than usual, which of course isn't saying much.

If you want a taste of what Paleomythic is like, N has submitted a couple of stories in the same universe (the Pantheon of Worlds series) to a contest on Reedsy.com.

In other good news, I now have a charger for Scarlett, and an update cable for Romann. I suspect that the former may not be able to deliver enough power, and the latter needs a Win$ computer to run the software despite the fact that the dongle is supported -- with free software -- on Mac and Linux.

On the gripping hand, my (gripping?) hands are in somewhat sorry shape -- I'm suffering from trigger fingers again. Working on it, with topical diclofenac gel, paracetamol (at my GP's insistance), and sometimes compression gloves (which don't seem very effective). It is not at the point where I can't type, play guitar, or put on my compression socks, and hopefully will get away from that point rather than to it. But it's worrisome and annoying.

Linkies: BBC: 100 years of Sir David Attenborough (whose 100th birthday was Friday). Life and Death of a Planetary System - Intro - NASA Science nice series, with short videos. Some random math links under Sunday,

( Notes & links, as usual )

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Thankful Thursday

2026-05-07T07:26:47Z

Today I am thankful for...

Stories.
Pain meds.
My families.
Support groups.
Comforting fantasies.

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Done Since 2026-04-26

2026-05-03T13:14:18Z

Not quite as unproductive as my weeks usually are, and there were some fascinating rabbit-holes to go down (I'll get to some of those later). And, yeah, a lot of good household-related things too. But not quite enough walking, and not nearly enough work (which includes music practice and writing). But some. But between stress around tax time, my ongoing health problems, and what's going on in the world, it's hard for me to be optimistic and hopeful, rather than pessimistic and depressed. So there was that.

With m and N returning from the US on Thursday, G's birthday (observed) on Saturday, getting (folding scooter)Lizzy back on Saturday, and N's next book nearing completion, there was a lot of great conversation and a goodly amount of sushi and other tasty stuff. I have some reviews to write -- hopefully overcoming my writer's block enough to do so. Here's a teaser.

Lizzy. When we got Lizzy back -- over a month ago -- from getting her flat tire repaired, she refused to start, displaying an error code (E8) on her dashboard. The manual does not have a table of error codes -- it says to call the dealer. They didn't know either. So we had them pick her up for repair. That was March 11. They called the factory. Several times, apparently. Finally I got the email saying she was ready to be returned, and that the error had to do with the freewheel lever not being engaged. WTF? Why was that not in the manual??!

Book. I recently read a near-final draft of N's new book, and yesterday I confirmed with her that I can say a little about it in public. It's called Paleomythic, and it's the first book in a trilogy. It is, in fact, a collection of myths -- stories about the history of Earth. As narrated, with close to scientific accuracy, by the gods themselves: the planets, continents, and seas ~~that~~ who were there and made it all happen. The framing story is narrated by Luna. It's not often that a book makes me cry tears of joy. This one did.

I note in passing that N's first book, The World As it Ought To Be, is widely available, and can be found through her website.

Health. The latest problem is Trigger finger, which I have been treating with diclofenac topical gel and, now, compression gloves. Because I need to use my fingers to pull on my compression socks. I'm also having pain -- probably muscle spasms -- on my left side, which is the side I sleep on. With the arm that Ticia likes to lie on.

Linkies! From last Sunday: Giant octopuses may have ruled the oceans 100 million years ago and Bruce Springsteen’s Chimes of Freedom. From Wednesday, Scientists reverse brain aging, with a nasal spray (nice if it works out, though I doubt it will be released soon enough to help me), and The Angine de Poitrine Argument for UBI. And from Friday, Scientists Finally Solved One of Water’s Biggest Mysteries and The Chord That Ended Classical Music - YouTube

( Notes & links, as usual )

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Rabbit rabbit rabbit!

2026-05-02T07:34:24Z

Welcome to May, 2026! Hooray, hooray, the First of May.

Right now it's actually half an hour after midnight on the Second in Seattle. But anyway...

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Thankful Thursday

2026-04-30T13:20:54Z

Today I am thankful for...

Having the good sense to recognize that I probably shouldn't have a second cup of coffee today. (We'll see later whether it was a mistake.)
Cat fud, snacks, and other staples that come in boxes that can be hot-glued together to make storage compartments for small objects. Also hot-melt glue, because I'm too lazy to use white glue and clamp things properly.
Cats. Special thanks for Ticia-snuggles, and Bronx learning to be somewhat more gentle. Now if only he would learn to sit on my lap instead of my keyboard.
Our Dutch bookkeeper and our US financial advisors.
Spreadable blue cheese and good whole-grain bread.

NO thanks for getting old, with its associated ailments and disabilities. I think Ticia (who turns 20 sometime this year) would agree with me.

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Done Since 2026-04-19

2026-04-26T10:04:54Z

Bad news for the week: Ticia's kidneys are failing, and she's lost a lot of weight since her last check-up. She's been with us for 11 of her 19 years; I don't know how long she'll last. But I've ordered kidney diet cat fud and high-calorie treats. About all I can do. She makes me think of Rodin's "Belle Heaulmière".

And of course that's on top of everything else going wrong in the world. Also, I'm not getting much done. And I somehow screwed up my order for a Travelpro backpack, and left off the house number. Fortunately I was able to update the address, so I got it the next day. It's supposed to fit under an airplane seat, though I have my doubts. It's also supposed to be blue, but it's a really dark blue.

I did have a zoom call with my financial advisor Thursday, mostly about estate planning. Seems like a good time for it. And I heard back from the place that repaired Scarlett -- they're going to look for the missing charger. Fingers crossed. Also heard from the place that's repairing Lizzy; they have no idea what's wrong and are consulting with the factory. I suggested that they should send us a replacement. Haven't heard back about that.

Big congratulations to this year's href=https://filkontario.ca/2026/04/19/2026-filk-hall-of-fame-inductees/ >Filk Hall of Fame inductees, Margaret Davis, Tim Griffin, and Amy McNally. For more musical mayhem, have some Angine de Poitrine

Also, Krakens in the Cretaceous. Possibly as long as 19 meters. Better hope your time machine doesn't land in the water.

( Notes & links, as usual )

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Thankful Thursday

2026-04-23T20:29:28Z

Today I am thankful for...

An instruction book written half in English.
Fast delivery, when I can get it. Thank you, Bol and PetsPlace! NO thanks for Ticia needing a kidney diet now.
Diclofenac, Ibuprofen, and Naproxen.
A vet who makes house calls.

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River: State of the Bear, with bonus cat

2026-04-22T20:15:24Z

This may not be the best day for writing a "state of the Bear" post, but it felt like it wanted to be written, so here I am. Mostly I just want to complain. Don't expect it to be organized.

Lately I've been having quite a bit of random pain -- mostly in my hands, in the form of trigger finger, which I assume is mostly RSI. Over the last few days I've also had trouble with my left shoulder; I sleep on that side, so it's not surprising either. (I've been treating the hands with diclofenac topical gel in the appropriate locations, and both with ibuprofen.)

I have a query in to my GP's office.

Meanwhile Ticia, my lovely old lady cat, is not doing well. She had a vet appointment Monday; she's lost a lot of weight, and according to the lab results her kidneys are failing. I'm putting her on a kidney-friendly diet, but even so I'm afraid she may not have much time left.

And I'm not all that sure about me, either.

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Done Since 2026-04-12

2026-04-19T13:26:05Z

Last week had some high points: reading the draft of N's next book, and a nice zoom reunion-ish thing. (I initially thought there were two of those, but the other was last Saturday.) Also sent several emails and made two phone calls following up (well, one and a half -- I abandoned the second after looking in my spam folder and finding the reply I was hoping for), paid our property tax, and got my US taxes done to the point where I could have filed for an extension, but determined that I didn't need to because I'm living overseas.

I'm supposed to celebrate accomplishments, even small ones. Right?

On the other hand, I only took five walks (skipping one because of pain and the other because of timing) and two short guitar-practice sessions. I can try to blame the latter on hand issues, but really (on the gripping hands?) it's mostly just laziness.

I am not at all happy with my body. See above under pain, and here under diclofenac. I'm not all that old, am I? Not happy with my brain, either -- see next paragraph.

Getting back to the zoom reunion-ish thing(s): there was a 65th reunion of my high school class last year; it was in Norwalk, Connecticut on the day after Thanksgiving, and I didn't go. Which was painful, because I'd ghosted the 50th for reasons I still don't entirely understand, although suffering from burnout may have had something to do with it and makes a convenient shorthand excuse. Anyway, enough people complained about not being to go for some other classmates of mine to organize a zoom version, which was last night. It was pretty good, although I lost the thread of what I was about to say at one point, resulting in an uncomfortable pause. See above about brain.

The reunion-ish thing Saturday didn't get called out last week, so I'll mention it here. Seems every year Carleton College has a "Coffee With Carls" event, and this year they had a virtual version for people who couldn't make it to one of the cities where versions of it were hosted. (There must be a briefer and less awkward way to phrase that.) Not bad, but it got cut short by a power outage before I had a chance to speak. Maybe next year.

Huge congratulations to this year's Filk Hall of Fame inductees: Margaret Davis, Tim Griffin, and Amy McNally! 🎉

Linkies: The system prompt for Meta’s AI model got leaked in 2 hours. The two Greatest Software Systems ever built: NASA Shuttle vs TeX.

And finally, Born on [April 15] in 1921, the Singer-Songwriter Behind the Most Famous No. 1 Hit Novelty Song of the 1950s. See Wednesday for spoiler.

( Notes & links, as usual )

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Thankful Thursday

2026-04-16T16:08:02Z

Today I am thankful for...

My families (chosen and birth). Mostly my chosen family right now.
My health problems not being worse. That's a very low bar, though.
Tax filing extensions.
Good weather (unlike Seattle yesterday).
Support groups.

NO thanks for brain weasels, procrastination (brain sloths?), and companies that don't answer their damned email.

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Done Since 2026-04-05

2026-04-12T11:01:42Z

Not a great week -- very down on myself for having sent N off with the wrong charger for (scooter)Gizmo. It was hiding in a box, and I overlooked it several times. G found it immediately, when asked. I need to change some of my habits to keep it from happening again. N finally managed to get one locally on Friday, with help from the seller and the hotel concierge. The seller had express-shipped one, but it somehow got held up in Turkish customs despite their having charged N extra for getting it expedited. She got back yesterday evening, and we now have a spare charger for Gizmo.

Meanwhile our other scooter and scooter-like vehicles are still out of commission: (Folding scooter)Lizzy is still in the shop, (carlet)Scarlett came back from the shop without her charger, and (walker/wheelchair)Roman is still unusable without a software upgrade. Which requires some kind of special interface (being shipped by boat) and Windows. All of this is due to my procrastination and phone phobia.

On the other, um..., foot, I now have two pairs of compression socks. Getting them on is fairly easy, because I can pull. Getting them off is not; I have ordered a foot-extraction tool. And I walked every day, so there's that.

Germany Just Made Open Document Formats Mandatory! This is particularly timely, because WireGuard And VeraCrypt Developers [were] Locked Out Of Microsoft Accounts... It may or may not be fixed by now, but the fact that they did it means that it will almost certainly happen again.

(Filk-adjacent, s4s-adjacent) linkies: (from Monday -- great way to start a week!) (also serious rabbit-hole warning) Angine de Poitrine - Full Performance (Live on KEXP) - YouTube (h/t to siderea) polka-dotted aliens with loopers, polyrythms and a double-neck quartertone guitar/bass. The band name, Angine de Poitrine, translates as "chest pain" More on Monday and Wednesday. Possible s4s post soonish; this will do until then.

And from Friday, Take a mind-bending ride through the cosmos at light speed Deep time and beyond: the great nothingness at the end of the Universe, both from Aeon.co. Take note: eternity is longer still.

( Notes & links, as usual )

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Thankful Thursday

2026-04-09T15:36:25Z

Today I am thankful for...

Compression socks. (Writing this in the waiting room; we´ll see whether they fit in a few miutes.) (Update: they fit.) NO thanks for having to wash them after every other use, but...
Battery life.
Linux Mint, LMDE (Linux Mint Debian Edition), and Linux Weekly News.
Emacs. See also, The Agent-Native Editor Was Invented in 1976 (N.B. I have not, and may never, tried adding AI to Emacs. But with a small local model it could work.)
Induction cooking -- we just acquired a 2kW induction hob. Because we have to worry about our gas supply.
Sometimes, for sleeping with cats.

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Done Since 2026-03-29

2026-04-05T21:14:25Z

I walked every day this week! And they were good walks -- the shortest was .64km. We'll see whether I can keep it up. My blood count is still low (as of my appointment Wednesday), but it's stable and high enough that they aren't going to recommend a bone marrow biopsy. Whew! I mentioned the hip/back pain that limits my walking; I need to ask my GP for a referral to PT.

On the other hand, they didn't have my compression socks ready by my Tuesday appointment, so it got rescheduled to next week. Another week of uncomfortable leg wraps. Still better than it was before they started.

Still no action on Lizzy's repair or Scarlett's charger.

I posted a Songs for Saturday yesterday -- the last post tagged with s4s was in January. I need to write more.

Linkies: Desolation (One Small Step) by Mike Whitaker made me cry. And from Friday, A Dandelion on the Seder Plate - Keshet For trans love and celebration.

And then there's What’s The Difference between Utopia, Eutopia and Protopia? In case you were wondering what Naomi's book -- subtitled "Stories from a protopian future" -- is all about.

( Notes & links, as usual )

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Songs for Saturday: The oldest known song

2026-04-04T15:03:51Z

... is Hurrian Hymn #6, addressed to the goddess Nikkal (wife of the moon god Nanna) and dates to around 1400 BCE.

Here it is on YouTube. The actual song, with lyrics in Hurrian and English, starts around 8:20. That's what I encountered first.

Here's an article on OpenCulture.com, which quite a few different videos; the first of which has the lyrics all on one screen (under the cut). I'm going to assume that the song is public domain. By a lot. The article has a quite a few good related links.

( lyrics, if you don't want to click through: )

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