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  <title>The Mandelbear&apos;s Musings</title>
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  <lastBuildDate>Sun, 29 Oct 2023 03:50:40 GMT</lastBuildDate>
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    <url>https://v2.dreamwidth.org/15740388/505737</url>
    <title>The Mandelbear&apos;s Musings</title>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://mdlbear.dreamwidth.org/1878222.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sun, 29 Oct 2023 03:50:40 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>River: The Reunion Debacle</title>
  <link>https://mdlbear.dreamwidth.org/1878222.html</link>
  <description>&lt;p&gt; I started writing this post in early 2016, after having ghosted my 50th
    high school reunion in the September of 2015.  My notes from back then
    were

&lt;blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt; not clear what I was avoiding: needs further analysis.  In general, I
    wasn&apos;t really sane at that time.  [I was starting to burn out, though I
    didn&apos;t know it at the time.]
&lt;p&gt; The original plan was for me to go to the reunion, then go with the whole
    family to Mom&apos;s birthday party.  Somewhere in there I panicked over
    finances, and let it slide until I ran out of time.
&lt;p&gt; I was also avoiding (a) the unfamiliar transportation situation around the
    reunion, and (b) the known problems with Colleen on a long air trip.  I
    went to Mom&apos;s party by myself.
&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;

&lt;p&gt; When it came time to make arrangements for Mom&apos;s party, the original plan
    had been completely forgotten -- I only discovered my notes for that after
    the fact.

&lt;p&gt; I went to my 50-year college reunion in 2019, partly because of not having
    gone to the HS reunion.  But &lt;em&gt;this&lt;/em&gt; year, I skipped the (roughly)
    50-year reunion of Columbae (the co-op I lived in my last couple of years
    of grad school), and went to OVFF the following week.  This weekend as I
    write this. You&apos;d think I would have learned.

&lt;p&gt; The logistical considerations were different this year -- instead of
    worrying about flying with Colleen, I was worrying about the cats.  But if
    I&apos;d had any damned sense I would have gone to the reunion, letting G care
    for Ticia, and &lt;em&gt;boarded all four cats&lt;/em&gt; to give me an uninterrupted
    long weekend on Whidbey.  Which would have been useful.  And I would have
    been able to schedule medical appointments a week earlier.  (Of course, at
    the time I didn&apos;t know that I was going to &lt;em&gt;need&lt;/em&gt; that many medical
    appointments.)

&lt;p&gt; I realized a couple of weeks ago that one common factor was travel
    arrangements.  I&apos;ve almost always either had people to travel with, or at
    least a convention to wind up at, in a known hotel, so most of my
    arrangements were predetermined.  And conventions are usually at
    &lt;em&gt;airport&lt;/em&gt; hotels, so I&apos;ve rarely had to rent a car.  I can do all
    that stuff, and &lt;em&gt;have done&lt;/em&gt; all that stuff, but when I&apos;m depressed
    and obsessing over it I tend not to think clearly, and apparently it&apos;s
    really easy for me to procrastinate until it&apos;s precisely too late for
    anything but the default decision.  Which is invariably wrong.

&lt;p&gt; I had a similar problem back in 2017 with the total solar eclipse -- by
    the time I realized that I really needed to make reservations, it was too
    late.  (Though even the 95% we had in Freeland &lt;a href=&quot;https://mdlbear.dreamwidth.org/1600940.html&quot;&gt;was pretty
    impressive&lt;/a&gt;.)  I wonder what I&apos;ll do about the one next year.  There&apos;s
    still time.  OTOH the best seeing will be in Texas.

&lt;p&gt; And I wonder what I&apos;ll do about my 55th college reunion, which is next
    year.  And a few months before that, Consonance, in the Bay Area.  Maybe I
    should practice a little before then?

&lt;p&gt; Meanwhile, here I am at OVFF.  And I&apos;ll have a pretty good time!  (Whether
    I actually do any singing in open filk circle is an open question -- so
    far I haven&apos;t.)  But I&apos;ve missed seeing another group of people I&apos;ll
    probably never have a chance to see again.  It seems my bucket list has a
    hole in it.  (&lt;a href=&quot;https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/There&amp;#39;s_a_Hole_in_My_Bucket&quot;&gt;Cue&lt;/a&gt;
    &lt;a href=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yD-ffhvefsw&quot;&gt;&quot;There&apos;s a Hole in
    the Bucket&quot;&lt;/a&gt;, which may explain some things.)

&lt;p&gt; I should post this before tomorrow.  Which is only 14 minutes away.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=mdlbear&amp;ditemid=1878222&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://mdlbear.dreamwidth.org/1878222.html</comments>
  <category>avoidance</category>
  <category>river</category>
  <category>psych</category>
  <category>anxiety</category>
  <category>procrastination</category>
  <lj:music>There&apos;s a Hole in the Bucket (list)</lj:music>
  <lj:mood>regretful</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
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