Coping?

[mdlbear]

I seem to have considerably more cope today. Successfully disconnected Colleen by myself, with Selkit observing. We had a nurse here this evening; selkit did most of it, with me assisting and Marty observing and the nurse walking him through it. So I'll have help.

So I'll have a little more assistance than I expected; I'm not too worried about Colleen's care while I'm at Conflikt. And I have several offers of generic help from various friends. The problem there will be, not so much asking for help (which I have no experience at), as figuring out what help to ask for. I've never had to even think about it before.

I've also discovered that I deal very badly with distractions. Somebody was here when I was disconnecting Colleen this morning; I had to shush them several times. Colleen wanted to stay in the living room this evening; I had to force the conversation back on topic several times, and silence a few distractions. I don't like to do it, and I'm no damned good at doing it politely, but I simply can't work through crosstalk.

I'm going to be working from home most mornings, as I did this afternoon. It's difficult even with the office door shut, but I think it'll work. It'll have to -- I don't have the time or energy for a double commute.

Comments

[sammyd.livejournal.com]

I was there three or four weeks ago. I had no idea what help to ask for. And even now, more than two weeks from having lost Robin, I still don't know what help to ask for, for me. I know I need help. I'm not sleeping, barely eating, not drinking anywhere near enough water. I'm just a mess. At least I knew enough to ask Ratlan's school for help for him. They know how to handle this sort of thing.

I hope things get better for you. I understand the need to keep crosstalk down to a minimum when trying to concentrate on something. I had to drain Robin's tube several times and unfortunately, I had to shush her so I could concentrate on what I was doing. She didn't appreciate that one bit. I apologized afterward, but with an explanation why I had shushed her. She usually was fine with that. So I really hope things go much smoother for you in the future.

[mdlbear]

Your church, if you have one, is a good place to start. If you've had contact with a social worker, they can also point you in the right direction (I'm just learning this stuff myself). The hospice people will also have all the right references.

I have a few posts on grief, but they might not be all that helpful. Start with this one

Hang in there.

[sunruner.livejournal.com]

Jim and I have ADD. When working from home with things going on around him, he finds that headphones help. He usually has music playing in them because he can manage to work with music going but even just the headphones help to silence the everyday noises going on while still allowing you to hear if someone calls out your name loudly. Hope you can figure out what can help you.

[mdlbear]

I have good noise-isolating headphones, but can't wear them all the time because they become uncomfortable. Most times closing the door to the office works. Having to work in a room with other people around is very difficult; I'm going to try to avoid it in the future, but there are going to be times when it simply isn't possible.