Coping?

[mdlbear]

I seem to have considerably more cope today. Successfully disconnected Colleen by myself, with Selkit observing. We had a nurse here this evening; selkit did most of it, with me assisting and Marty observing and the nurse walking him through it. So I'll have help.

So I'll have a little more assistance than I expected; I'm not too worried about Colleen's care while I'm at Conflikt. And I have several offers of generic help from various friends. The problem there will be, not so much asking for help (which I have no experience at), as figuring out what help to ask for. I've never had to even think about it before.

I've also discovered that I deal very badly with distractions. Somebody was here when I was disconnecting Colleen this morning; I had to shush them several times. Colleen wanted to stay in the living room this evening; I had to force the conversation back on topic several times, and silence a few distractions. I don't like to do it, and I'm no damned good at doing it politely, but I simply can't work through crosstalk.

I'm going to be working from home most mornings, as I did this afternoon. It's difficult even with the office door shut, but I think it'll work. It'll have to -- I don't have the time or energy for a double commute.

Comments

[sammyd.livejournal.com]

I was there three or four weeks ago. I had no idea what help to ask for. And even now, more than two weeks from having lost Robin, I still don't know what help to ask for, for me. I know I need help. I'm not sleeping, barely eating, not drinking anywhere near enough water. I'm just a mess. At least I knew enough to ask Ratlan's school for help for him. They know how to handle this sort of thing.

I hope things get better for you. I understand the need to keep crosstalk down to a minimum when trying to concentrate on something. I had to drain Robin's tube several times and unfortunately, I had to shush her so I could concentrate on what I was doing. She didn't appreciate that one bit. I apologized afterward, but with an explanation why I had shushed her. She usually was fine with that. So I really hope things go much smoother for you in the future.

[mdlbear]

Your church, if you have one, is a good place to start. If you've had contact with a social worker, they can also point you in the right direction (I'm just learning this stuff myself). The hospice people will also have all the right references.

I have a few posts on grief, but they might not be all that helpful. Start with this one

Hang in there.