The Mandelbear's Musings

Hmm. Lots of links this week. Not a whole lot else, except that Curio seems to have decided -- finally! -- that my lap is a good place to hang out. He sat in it for about two hours yesterday.

Yesterday Colleen and I went up to Sky Nursery and bought berry bushes and tomato plants, which I put in today. And today is Father's Day, which I will make a separate post about later.

A rather boring week bracketed by great music. Last Sunday we had Heather Dale and Ben Deschamps at Rainbow's End's first house concert. And this weekend we're at Norwescon, with both concerts and filking (see notes)... and the high point was, definitely, Glenn proposing marriage to Naomi during the intermission. She said yes. Heather had ended her first set with "As I Am".

The second set was all about love and marriage. (Not both together, necessarily -- it included "The Devil and the Farmer's Wife".)

On the flip side, I continue to be arthritic and mildly depressed. The low point of the week was filing for an extension on my taxes. Which was a mistake -- I should have filed and then filed an amended return when I finally get all the deductions and business expenses together. It was, of course, horrendous: I sold a lot of stock to buy and renovate Rainbow's End.

I haven't been enjoying Norwescon all that much. Mostly hiding in a corner reading on my laptop. Grump. Grumpity grump. Oh, and the hotel's wifi is seriously overloaded, and the restaurant service is slow and barely competent. *sigh*

There are links in the notes, as usual. The perceptive reader may also notice an item at the end of the notes that will, hopefully, turn into a post sometime soon.

Not such a long week. But both productive and exhausting in its own way.

Sunday of Conflikt was pretty good, especially Jeff Bohnhoff's "Alternate Guitar Chords" workshop, and some great music. But around, what, 4pm? Colleen's scooter abruptly stopped working. Dead in its tracks, with the battery indicator happily stuck at the halfway point, where it's always been for the last several months. The YD, who was accompanying Colleen between buildings, proceeded to panic. I talked her through pushing the scooter back indoors and plugging in the charger.

As soon as I could, I got down there, to find that there was enough charge in the battery to move slowly, but not fast -- push too far and it would simply cut off. So charging helps. I had some difficulty persuading the YD to help me get Colleen all the way into the conference center and up to the Conflikt lobby, where she would be warm and have music and company while the battery charged.

At which point it developed that the YD needed to get home and finish her homework. Due Monday. Oooooookay then. I drove her home, which gave me the opportunity to drop off most of the luggage, swap vehicles, and snag a walker at Naomi's in case charging the battery didn't help.

But of course it did help -- the battery finished charging, and the scooter was just fine. I still don't trust it.

Monday was reasonably productive, plus the inevitable odds and ends of paperwork. Despite coming down with the con crud. The chills came on the way home; I went to bed early, under a pile of blankets.

I woke up feeling as though I was swimming in sweat, of course, and wisely decided to work from home. I got through two new API methods that had been scheduled for two days each.

Which was a good thing, since I wasn't quite as productive Wednesday, when I had a urology appointment in the morning and got to sit around while Colleen had an MRI in the afternoon. All afternoon, as it turned out. So much for going in and pushing my changes to the local github in mid-afternoon. I started writing functional tests.

... but all in all not that bad a week, considering.

My sister-of-choice, pocketnaomi, is still looking for a housemate: the person she was expecting to move in last week backed out at the last minute.

See her post on DW (or here on LJ) for details.

OK, a weekend short of two weeks. Too much to summarize. Elections happened. (You'll find a bit of analysis in the links.) Work happened. Looked in several of the local stores for a Nexus 7, and didn't find one. Guess I'll have to order online. Upgraded my netbook to Ubuntu 12.04, and Colleen's to 12.10 because .04 was a disaster. .10 isn't perfect, but at least it supports the Dell's stupid Poulsbo video. Sorta. Still doesn't suspend properly, which sucks.

There also seems to be something majorly wrong -- it can take up to 20 minutes to boot! I suspect disk, but it could be something even more serious. We discussed options; she may be better off with an Android tablet or chromebook. I forwarded her email to her gmail account, which pretty much takes care of the only reason for connecting to the in-house network. That's still flaky, probably because of interference.

Last weekend also included a massage from N, who is studying massage therapy at Cortiva. She's *good*, and I especially enjoyed having her talk through what she's doing and observing. It also started me off on a week's worth of link-chasing around anatomy, and especially muscles.

I ran out of my morning BP pills (lisinopril/HCTZ) on Sunday, so have been watching my blood pressure. Unfortunately I didn't get a couple of baseline readings last week. It's marginally pre-hypertensive now, but not worrisome; I'll see what happens in the next week. By which time the supply I mail-ordered from Kaiser should be here, assuming they ship to ex-members. One reason I'm not particularly worried is that I'm still on doxazosin for my BPH, and was noticing occasional dizziness on standing up. Which suggests that it may have been too much before.

Noteworthy quotes:

"Hmm... my panic attacks feed on fear, they lie all the time, they try to control me, they threaten me with dying and going to hell, and they don't care in the slightest for logic. They can be defeated by ridicule, because for all their bluster they aren't very bright, but they don't admit defeat; they just regroup with another dirty tactic and try again. Maybe they're Republicans?" --Nora Rivkis in Facebook

Colleen: I hate it when my Kindle freezes.

Me: Speak sharply to your little toy / And boot it when it freezes. / It only does it to annoy / Because it knows it teases.

All the horrible details, plus bonus links, in the notes below. Feel free to give them the tl;dr treatment. I need to start doing this more often.

Another week gone by. Do people prefer the weekly dumps, or daily dribbles? Inquiring minds and all that.

Worrying news on the job front -- $COMPANY, which last I heard was about to hire me as soon as they got through some back-office stuff, has re-organized. There's a new hiring manager, and apparently he has some concerns. AARGH! I have a new set of interviews on Tuesday. If this falls through I'm unlikely to get anything before my severance pay runs out.

In retrospect it's a good thing I couldn't get a Friday slot -- I apparently came down with a 24-hour virus of some sort. With luck I'm over it now, but I was pretty miserable yesterday afternoon and evening. Went to bed 10:30ish and slept for 11 hours.

In other news, I've done a little music with Naomi, and fixed a mysterious problem I'd been having with my mail reader.

I have been realizing more and more how much we'd been relying on Colleen's support network back in San Jose: Liz (and Marty and Alison before her), Safeway.com, ... Housekeeping, shopping, and driving Colleen places are nearly a full-time job. I'll be happy when the YD gets her license.

Speaking of the YD, she's an official AVON Representative now.

I want a Nexus 7 and a pair of Want. Also want Equator D5 Studio Monitors. Grump. When I get a job, damnit...

Since the Hugos were announced, I've been reading Digger by Ursula Vernon, the winner for best graphic story. Go read it -- it's amazing.

Lots of links, as one would expect for a week's worth.

See music: "... and I'm five hundred miles from my home." Actually more like 800. San Jose; Logan, Utah; and Lake Forest Park, Wa are at the vertices of an 800-mile equilateral triangle, more or less. Sunday the 24th I headed out toward Logan for my brother's wedding. Fortunately, I don't mind driving.

The wedding itself was Tuesday, with no less than seven granddaughters serving as flower-girls. Fun! Wednesday afternoon was devoted to a hike, with many of the grand-kids. Glad I'd packed my hiking boots.

Thursday the 28th, after having breakfast with the family (Mom paid for it), I set out on the second leg of the trip, up I84 and I82 through western Idaho and eastern Oregon and Washington to Shoreline and Lake Forest Park - a particularly pleasant drive, all through places I hadn't been before.

I arrived at the new apartment 2ish and unloaded, and finally made it to Naomi's at 4pm, just in time for a phone interview with EnergySavvy. And the Friday before the trip was a phone interview with Google, which went well enough for them to schedule me an on-site this last Monday. I'll get to that in the next installment.

Oh, and while I was traveling, I was juggling calls from moving companies coming in to give us estimates on the move. (We eventually went with one of the more expensive bids because it seemed to be the most competent and thorough.)

Lots of links in the notes, along with assorted travel notes.

Most of the day -- the afternoon and evening -- was spent at Jennifer and Moshe's Wedding I'm very glad we went, even though it was exhausting and loud and... Such a lot of happy energy! Great people-watching, too. I decided to sit with Colleen and some of the other old folks and watch the dancing rather than try to join it. Considering how exhausted I was when I flopped into bed, this was probably a good choice.

I seem to have become one of the "old folks" -- I'm clearly in the parents' generation now. My (younger) brother has grandkids. Gleep!

Given the noise level -- far too high for talking -- I spent pretty much the entire event, except for the actual ceremony, in a little personal bubble, not even trying to get into conversations. I seem to have gotten better at that, and I'm getting used to it as well. I do wish they'd mixed people up; we knew everyone at our table (the "filkers' table"), so I didn't get to meet anyone at dinner, and only two people at one of the receptions.

But, a good day. I'll take it.

I'm not sure batching my posts is significantly less work, but I seem to have fallen into that mode by default. We'll see how it goes; comments welcome.

It's been a rough month this last weekend. The back pain I felt yesterday was only part of it. Yeah, more exercise would probably help. Time? Ha!

Let's see... paid my sales tax, G&S (wonderful!), not as much practice as I wanted needed, helping friends (and trying to provide emotional support, which Middle-Sized Bears can apparently do, but don't really know how they do), making travel and other logistical arrangements, a couple of arguments with the YD, who seems to dig in her heels at every request or suggestion I or Colleen makes), ...

I didn't get nearly as much done as I wanted needed to. I can haz xtra hrs plz? The trouble with this planet is that it spins just too damned fast.

Plenty of links down there in the notes, plus bonus haiku (Friday) and some dream notes (Saturday).

It's kind of ironic -- two days ago I wrote a post asking my friends to call me on my mistakes. Then followed it up with another post that several people called me on. Quite rightly, because I got carried away by my own rhetoric, and lost track of the points I was really trying to make. Being angry, upset, and short on sleep can lead to stupid mistakes, as I damned well ought to know from occasionally trying to drive in that condition.

It's doubly ironic, because I was trying to call some friends on their mistakes. Let's try again, shall we?

Sometimes you have to tell a friend something they really don't want to hear. It's hard. Sometimes it involves a mistake they don't realize they're making, which is bad enough. Sometimes it involves something they're afraid to admit to themselves. That's worse; because it can be perceived as a threat to who they think they are. You can lose a friend, messing with that kind of dynamite. Been there, done that.

Usually they don't listen, but if you're really their friend, you have to try. Sometimes, as in the case I'm thinking of at the moment (I'll get to some specifics further down), you make stupid mistakes that dilute your message. It's really easy for them to focus on a fact you got wrong, or the hurtful way you said it, and to ignore the message.

It's all to easy to give up at that point, or to not even get to that point. To pat them on the head and say "I hope everything gets resolved" or some such, and go on your way hoping that you were right. It's guaranteed to make your friend feel better, which is a good thing, right?

Maybe not.

(Aside: I now understand a little better where religious evangelists are coming from. But I'm not going there tonight.)

So let's get to the specific case in point. If you're tired of seeing posts about what's going on with my friends in Seattle, you might want to stop here. Or, better, you might want to read on and comment if you see me getting it wrong again. Because I think it's important to keep trying.

Here's the main point: my friend (not "former" friend -- if I didn't still care a lot about her, I'd just give up on her) has said repeatedly that she's not a danger now. That "I do not wish her harm". That she's on her guard now, and has her temper under control.

That. Is. Her. Mistake. How can she possibly know?

It's been less than two months since the assault. The court has ordered a psychiatric evaluation, but that hasn't happened yet. Let alone any therapy that might be recommended (or required -- I don't know how these things work) as a result. She hasn't yet finished -- may not even have started -- the anger management program that would teach her how to keep her temper in check.

I don't think she ever wished to harm her partner. But she did. She says that her temper is under control. But she said that before the attack, too. She was wrong then, what makes anyone think she isn't wrong now?

She said "But that isn't me" -- but if that's true, then there's somebody else in her head, who comes out when she's angry and takes over her body. Maybe I'm wrong about that bit -- I'm neither a psychiatrist nor an exorcist. It sure sounded like that, the times I heard her voice when she got angry.

That kind of thing can take years to get a handle on -- I've spoken to some of my friends who've struggled with various forms of dissociation. It's not something that she can fix in a couple of months before even knowing in detail what she's up against. There's a reason why she's going to be under the court's supervision for the next two years, and why an order of protection runs for a year and can be renewed for a second.

It's going to be a long, hard road. And it's going to require deep, lasting change, which I know from talking with her former partner is what she's really terrified of. No wonder she's looking for shortcuts!

But this isn't just about my friend, it's also about her friends. Yeah, some of you, too.

Do you really you're doing her a favor when you let her lie to herself? When you let her shift as much of the blame as possible to her victim? When you tell her you hope this all gets resolved soon? Cat makes a good point - "resolved" doesn't mean "blows over and everything goes back to normal", but more like "good progress getting her life back together". She's doing that, and I applaud her for it.

How about telling her the truth -- that she's looking at a couple of years of court-ordered inconvenience and hard psych work? And, if you're really her friend, that you're going to give her all the help and encouragement you can, but she has to start walking down that road herself before she can get to the end of it.

... it's getting late, and I'm liable to say something stupid if I keep going in this direction. Must. Keep. Walking... G'night, friends.

ETA: I know all of her friends wish her well, and that some of you may be giving her good advice and help behind the scenes. Keep it up! I've been trying that route, too; there's a lot of email you haven't seen. She's going to need a lot of support from all of us over the next couple of years.

ETA(2): Barring something very unusual happening, I expect this to be my last post on this subject. Flame wars are unproductive and exhausting, and I may not be getting any wiser, but I'm certainly getting older. I hope to provide more light and less heat in the future.

I'm not really sure how to go about this. And it's getting late. So I'm going to take the easy way out...

REDACTED: That was bloody stupid of me, wasn't it? Bears can be clumsy sometimes. I'm leaving this in place for the sake of the comments, which I found very valuable, but if you want me to remove yours just let me know.

This post should have been sent in email or a private message. I'm really sorry about any damage I caused with it, and will try to be more careful and less clumsy in the future. In particular, I need to stop posting about what I think is going on in other people's heads -- I'm extremely bad at it.

I will, however, stand by what I think is the point I ought to have been making, which is that when somebody has demonstrated that they don't have full control of what's going on in their own head, it will take more than a few weeks of good intentions to get it back. It may take a year or two of hard work.

And that I think such a person's friends would be doing them a service to remind them of that fact.

I spent the weekend in Seattle with my sister of choice and bandmate Naomi; less than 48 hours, but a good visit and well worth it. We had a couple of great rehearsals, and some very nice quiet time together. I also had brunch Saturday morning with chaoswolf, which was nice.

I noticed a big adrenaline rush getting off the plane and through the airport. No telling whether it had an emotional component -- excitement? -- or was just the natural result of juggling my luggage and walking a little faster than usual. Alexithymia strikes again. For some reason my walking pace depends a lot on location; airports are fast.

I also took a look at the Conflikt program grid, and determined that our concert will be at 8pm on Friday. It's a really full schedule. But it's a good time; second concert of the evening, prime time, right before open filking. And we'll have the rest of the weekend to recover.

Saturday, as I said earlier, I started the day having brunch with the Wolfling, then a good run-through, and quite a lot of nice quiet time with Naomi. We had another, even better, practice session Sunday -- we basically nailed the tough ones, and I got some nice clean recordings to take home and remind me. I tend to forget things like melodies and timing, if I don't hear them often enough.

N. also told me that she likes my computer glasses, which are "rimless"; she says they give a much better view of my face. It's too bad that they don't make them with lenses large enough to be usable as bifocals. But it's nice that I'll be using them to perform in, since a music stand is at almost exactly the same distance as a monitor.

Links. Quite a few links. I got Navigating Love and Autism - NYTimes.com by way of a paper clipping my Mom mailed me. It wasn't findable in google -- they apparently expect you to go their site and search there. Idiots! But a pretty good article.

I got mentioned in a review of a Harry Potter/Callahan's crossover.

And here's an article "On illustrating poetry" by meeks, who made my river icon.

It was a good day, though slightly strange, and very much a day "on the River".

Most of my mindspace was taken up with working on another "difficult" email. The word is in quotes not because it wasn't, but because that's really an understatement. But she asked what it would take, for the sake of our old friendship. N and I had to give it all we had, and we did.

The day was well-spend indeed, but draining. As you may know, I'm not very good at "feeling" my emotions; I mostly have to go by the physical symptoms. I can tell you that I felt a heck of a lot more exhausted after hitting the "send" key than I did after my 3-mile walk in the afternoon. (It was perfect walking weather, BTW.)

I finished the day by making crab lasagne for chaoswolf's last dinner at home. A pound of crabmeat, a box and a half of rice noodles, a quart and a half of cottage cheese, two pounds of grated cheese, and a quart and a half of bechamel. Go me! (Next time I'll go back to ricotta, though; the cottage cheese is a little too moist.)

Only one link: Public Domain Day 2012: Five things we can do in the US. It celebrates the works entering the public domain this year. But not in the US, thanks to the latest extension our idiot congress passed. Opposite of progress.

I get attached to things. Sometimes I hold on to them even after they're worn out. I have a dozen boxes of old T-shirts, big stacks of old bags and backpacks, a shelf of manuals for dead programming languages and ancient computers I was fond of once. I'm getting a little better about letting go of the things that are really broken, though I still keep many things that I think -- or hope -- might be repairable.

It's especially sad when what's broken is a friendship.

It was a very good weekend. Unexpectedly good -- I will confess to having been nervous about it. Perhaps justified, since I really didn't know what I'd be heading into, in the wake of Naomi and Callie's breakup. What I did know was that I'd be staying with Naomi and working on seeing whether it was worthwhile trying to perform at Conflikt as a new duo called Lookingglass Folk.

Naomi was more doubtful than I was, but in any case all our doubts were gone by Friday night. LgF is on its way.

Let me back up a little. Thursday morning I finished the last-minute packing, then went back to the old office in San Jose to do some catching up with my former coworkers, and go out to lunch with one of them. I found them celebrating -- the first "development and demo" kits ready to ship. So, Yay! A product that I worked on is out in the wild.

Travel notes:

I was traveling with Flame, my Ovation, rather than my travel guitar -- the plan was to leave it up in Seattle so that Talis could practice with it before the con. Uneventful -- Southwest is very musician-friendly -- and I discovered that both Minnie and Chami can fit nicely under a seat. Good to know.

This was also my first trip with the Belkin computer bag, which nestles nicely into the top 2/3 of Chami (the carry-on rolling backpack). My CPAP fills the bottom third, and there's room underneath (alongside the handle tube) for the other assorted electronics.

Naomi told me that the Belkin's name was BJ. More on that in Sunday's notes, if you're into that kind of thing.

I had breakfast with Callie on Friday morning, getting back while Naomi was still asleep. I think... no, probably better not to go there in a blog post. What I think about it doesn't matter much anyway.

I also met Naomi's new housemate, A, and her new (to her) car, Talis. I'm never quite sure how much about people to put in a post. Low self-confidence?

Tech notes:

This was also my first trip with Cygnus, my new Thinkpad X120e. It was fantastic! The keyboard is a dream to type on, especially compared to the Dell netbook I've been using for the last two years. I got quite a lot done, both re-editing lyrics for the new two-person scripting, and an assortment of other housekeeping tasks inspired by having to configure a new system.

At this point almost everything in my home directory is set up using git, making it easy to keep in sync and to work even when disconnected. At this point about the only things I really need the home system for are email and DW posts, and of course audio editing.

Gleep. I woke up to beautiful, soft, gentle fog, and had a moderately productive day at work. Good talk in the morning by Ed Schlesinger, head of the department of electrical and computer engineering at CMU, about technology and how it empowers individuals as opposed to institutions. Notable quote: "When institutions don't like it, you're probably on the right track."

I spent most of the evening composing an email to (former bandmate) C. It was hard, and I was really taken aback by the intensity of my emotions while writing it. (I don't know what they were -- I couldn't sort them out. That probably doesn't matter.)

It had some of my more impassioned writing in it; I haven't written anything that intense since the comments leading up to the Agamemnon verse in QV. Maybe not ever. I found out this morning that it wasn't well received, though. I miss my friend; I hope she comes back some day.

Somebody needs to tell her that nobody is judging her, only her actions. She won't listen to me, though; I guess that bridge was already on fire from her end when I tried to reach across it.

You know it's been a bad day when hearing of Anne McCaffrey's death wasn't the worst thing to happen. Or even the second worst.

The neuropathy was the second worst. Both feet, feeling like they were on fire after standing for a few minutes. Probably diabetic neuropathy, though there could be other explanations.

And then there was hearing that one of my good friends had assaulted her partner, my sister of choice pocketnaomi, in a fit of blind anger. Naomi and her kids are safe, but I was shocked and saddened. I will post more on this later. Soon.

Physical pain isn't always the worst kind.

A pretty good day. I got taken out to lunch by the new (to me -- he's been on board for over a year) lab director, Vikas. Half a sentence into his description of the restaurant he had just discovered last week (when he had lunch with my returning coworker Ed), I knew it had to be Arya. The "mix of Persian and Italian" was a dead giveaway. Yum. (Of course, I weigh 2 pounds more this morning...)

I asked Vikas what his hobbies were, and he said his only hobby was playing tennis. *shakes head in disbelief* I really don't understand people like that. Am I really that weird? {Of course, silly bear! You're in fandom -- it's a simple matter of sampling bias.}

I am now checking and reformatting the flaky partition on the gateway. This makes me somewhat grumpy. It doesn't seem to be flaking, though, so I'm guessing that a couple of sectors got corrupted, perhaps in a power failure. I am thinking seriously of moving to a flash drive, though.

I also did a little decluttering in the office, pulling out a couple of 50-foot Cat-5 cables that were no longer being used. And had a lovely, whimsical IM conversation with pocketnaomi.

And I booked my next flight to Seattle. Of course, Southwest's $49 sale is over :(.

A few links.

Worldcon was... well, yes. Something like that, anyway. Good, but exhausting, somewhat frantic, and marred by a filk hotel that reeked of smoke everywhere but our room (which was large and well-laid-out). Also, the Peppermill's WiFi was sporadic at best. Fortunately, between free valet parking and the fact that convention center parking was free with a handicap placard, and the CC itself was totally smoke-free, we managed. We toughed out the smoke in the filk room Friday and Saturday nights; small, but good energy.

Between meals, laundry, and a couple of good Tempered Glass rehearsals, I missed the panels completely, and only got to maybe a third of the concerts. Maybe less. And had some good conversations, but far fewer than I'd wanted or hoped to. I did get to go hang out in one of the Peppermill's excellent swimming pools with Naomi on Friday, which was good. (The pool was long, shallow, and had a waterfall. Fun!)

The fact that we'd had to check out a day early, Sunday rather than Monday, didn't help at all. Still, family emergencies take precedence (everybody is safe; no need to worry), and there are some advantages to having a day free to recover before going to work.

But there were a lot of people we didn't get to hang out with or say goodbye to. And I go to cons more for the people than anything else these days. It was good to have another con where I wasn't scheduled to perform, though.

Backing up, I had a PT appointment Tuesday about my strained right trapezius muscle -- apparently this is almost entirely the result of bad posture. Leaving my shoulders slumped and my head forward results in the trapezius being continuously stretched; actually using it can easily result in its getting strained. She gave me some exercises; Colleen claims that she notices a difference after only a week.

Some luggage notes in no particular order: I looked up Southwest's under-seat stowage dimensions: Chami fits. She worked well on the trip, too; I was able to piggyback her on the Travelpro, though that combination really needs a strap to stabilize it. The Amazon electronics box works, but isn't big enough for everything; I need something about the same width and depth, but 6" or so longer to fit all the way up one side. I stacked a smaller box with the recorder in that slot, but it kept falling out.

Another problem is that Chami isn't big enough for a full-sized music stand desk. I took the Travelpro to the open filk Saturday night, which worked better but meant largely emptying it and repacking in the morning. I also tried wearing Chami plus Minnie as a backpack -- way too heavy for me. And there isn't a good way to wear Chami and Plink together, either. That may be worth some hacking to accomplish.

In other luggage notes, I managed to leave the blue tote with Colleen's netbook, kindle, and meds sitting on the floor by the front desk when we checked in. Fortunately it was found and turned in; the weekend could have been much worse.

Musical note: I went to Bill Mills' concert, and discovered that he was a fan of mine! Felt good, but weird. I gave him a copy of CC&S. At the filk that evening, I hauled out "Wheelin'" as he was packing up; I think I impressed him.

So... a very mixed bag. Some terrific parts, some miserable parts, a lot of stress, a few good conversations, quite a few missed opportunities. And I doubt I'll ever be back to the Peppermill. Good riddance. Did I mention the tacky mass-produced paintings?

Some good links that came by during the week, up in the notes as usual.

Yesterday could easily have ended up being a fiasco, but with some amazing last-minute juggling and real-time rescheduling we have cflute and pocketnaomi safely at the starport. (The few missing items were ordered and delivered this morning.)

But... my friends are here, and there were happy hugs all around, and late-night food and conversation. There will be music. Life is good.

It was also a long day, and I slept late this morning.

Moderately productive at work, and I accumulated a pretty good collection of links which you can see in the notes.

I have something to add to my Thankful Thursday post, or more specifically two people. I'm very grateful to...

• Liz and Og, for their help around the house...
• ... and especially Liz (tetralizard), for being Colleen's "Old Lady's Companion" on more occasions than I can count, or adequately thank her for.

Thank you.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. It included, after all, a st/roll with Colleen, dinner, and some singing for Naomi. I also added a new flag character to my raw notes: "'" (single quote) marks a piece of "internal dialog". Talking to the voices in my head, to put it more simply.

They're not really voices, of course; they're pretty-much indistinguishable from the interior narrative that goes on all the time in my head. But Naomi has, over the last couple of years, taught me the usefulness of labeling parts of that narrative as coming from different "characters". More on that later, probably. Someday.

I also noticed that I like it when people add to comment threads, especially when they answer someone else's question. I guess it makes me feel that my blog is useful?

Among the day's few links, I can recommend elf's post, Growing old fiercely

Um... ok. You'd think that after spending a lot of the weekend sitting on my tail with my netbook, I'd have posted something. You'd be wrong. Actually, I was mostly reading Flight of the Godkin Griffin (it starts with this post), ... and taking care of my friends.

I originally planned to go to Seattle to rehearse with the other members of Tempered Glass, Naomi and Callie. But Naomi started the weekend feeling ghastly, her daughter had health problems of her own, and Callie had a combination of chem homework and, by the time Monday morning came around, a stomach bug. Saturday mid-day was mostly spent getting the house ready for the house-cleaners who came in the afternoon, and Saturday night was spent taking care of Naomi.

Late Saturday night (early Saturday morning?) N. asked me how I managed to be so cheerful. I really didn't know, and still don't, except that helping friends is one of the things I do, and taking care of sick people is something I've gotten very good at over the last few years. And it's easier to triage somebody else's piles of paper.

We didn't do much singing. A little.

And yet it was a good weekend for me. It was a relaxed weekend with friends; plenty of time to hang out, talk, sit in companionable silence with our respective books, and talk about love, friendship, chemistry, cooking, and the uses of whimsy. Did I mention the salmon? Installing the new cable modem? The rush of happiness when they both told me they couldn't have made it through the weekend without me? (Yes, they could have gotten help from more distant friends, but it wouldn't have been the same.)

There were a couple of brief exchanges with Ame -- you'll find those in the notes, flagged with a "/". And it was a good weekend for the Middle-Sized Bear to manifest himself.

I'd been expecting it to be a working weekend. A different kind of work, to be sure, but I'm not complaining. It really was good.

But, Gods! -- it's not quite 10 pm, and I'm falling asleep in my chair. Good night, all.

Gleep. Somehow I seem to have let an entire week go by without posting -- Consonance, two doctor's visits, a huge pile of work, another huge pile of links, ... and only one walk.

Consonance was fun. I had no concerts, and sang less than half a dozen songs in circles. But I heard some good music, and had some good conversations. Not as many as I'd wanted to have. There's never enough time, in a weekend when everyone has concerts and workshops to go to. But... ok.

And the workshops, Carla's on editing songs, and Joe's on open tunings, were great. Some notes from Carla's workshop under the cut.

The Tempered Glass CD, Hearts of Glass, Nerves of Steel, went for $150 in the InterFilk auction.

Lots of work. Not so much fun -- there's way too much to do, in too little time. It's taken me most of the week simply to come up to speed. Not good. Damnit; the factory tests shouldn't have been an afterthought.

Did I mention that we're having our annual "It's Green!" party on Saturday? Yeah. That. Come on over, if you're in the area!

A big pile of links under the cut, which I'm too fuzzy-brained to sort through. So enjoy the chaos.

I would like all my friends here to comment on this post stating how you met me. But I want you to LIE. That's right. Just make it up. After you comment, feel free to copy this to your journal so others can do the same.

(From a couple of friends who, since they locked their posts, had best be left unidentified.)