Done yesterday (20111129 Tu)

[mdlbear]

I woke up to a reply to Sunday night's email to C., and the discovery that she had taken me off her friends list. It was surprising how much that hurt.

(I am happy to report that I'm back on, now that she has finally been confronted with reality. There's still a lot of pain to go around, but at least there's a path toward healing, now. I occasionally have to tell people that I'm interested in explanations, not excuses; it's good to know that my analysis appears to have been validated.)

Odd; I'm not sure I ever felt "validated" before. I know people have referred to it.

In other news, my Tascam US-800 interface arrived, and I got a 2-mile walk in at lunchtime.

I ended the day feeling drained, both emotionally and physically. The hamsters in my brain ate all my spoons.

Quite a few links, some of which are pretty scary.

1129 Tu
  * up 6:30; W=194.4; drugs, nose, teeth, email, exercise, light
  : Received reply from C.  I tried.
    She's taken me off her flist, and made her entire LJ friends-only.  
    ! hurt.  It's surprising how much it hurts.  
  @ steal this record - Yellow Press - Elvis Costello (randwolf) 
    " Unfortunately, we at www.elviscostello.com find ourselves unable to
      recommend this lovely item to you as the price appears to be either a
      misprint or a satire. 
  @ Softly and suddenly vanished away | Files That Last
  @ The freedom to tweet: Not applicable in Thailand or in Kansas | Cringely
  & revoke privs, change password on C's dreamhost sub-account.
  @ Doomed by default passwords | Security - InfoWorld
  * My Tascam US-800 interface arrived.
  * walk:  ~2mi to Blackberry Farm and back.
    % very slow start, took maybe half a mile to get all the way up to a
      moderate pace.  Mood, of course.
  % drained emotionally, headachy and slightly ill-feeling physically.  Ick.
    dazed.  sleepy.  drifting.
  @ FCC blasts AT&T for lies about T-Mobile merger - Nov. 29, 2011
  : Let's try ssh nova-w instead of nova; see if that helps the wifi
    connection by unkinking the routing. -> helps a lot.
  : emacs hangs when ps-printing a mail buffer :P
  @ What We Should Learn from the Collapse of Borders 
  @ Even After Withdrawing Its Application, AT&T Hits Another Huge Hurdle
    In T-Mo Deal | TechCrunch  (the FCC report)
  @ Dutch Researcher Created A Super-Influenza Virus With The Potential To
    Kill Millions Eeep!  Seanan claims she had nothing to do with it.
  @ Siri Failures, Illustrated | Amadi Talks reproductive health blackout
  * load drugs
  * bath; bed ~midnight

Comments

[sheistheweather]

Might I suggest that this be friends-locked? This is not business that ought to be left public; regardless of the rest, dignity ought to be preserved at basic levels for everyone.

[kyrielle]

In this case I agree with what sheistheweather says, in part because it references something that is not public and could be relevant in a legal case. Or tweak it enough to remove the reference to what's said, but I think that might change the meaning.

[mdlbear]

Point. It was public when I referred to it.

[chaoswolf]

But due to the fact it's now...not, is that relevant enough to change the status of this post?

[kyrielle]

That makes sense - I don't know if I saw it and realized it was public before its status changed.

And I am impressed by your rewording - it's almost unchanged, and yet it lowers the concern level quite a lot.

[mdlbear]

:) Thanks!

[chaoswolf]

+1 to this.

[catalana.livejournal.com]

Yeah, she took me off too, which I have no clue about. I'm always sad when someone does that, and more so when they are hurting and I can't do anything about it. I'm glad she re-added you, though. *hugs*

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

(see userpic)

[catsittingstill.livejournal.com]

*hug*

I hope your new audio interface works out well.

[mdlbear]

Thanks. It's been a wild, wild week, and I haven't had time to try it yet.

[caprine.livejournal.com]

Seanan claims she had nothing to do with it.

Bwaha!

[joecoustic.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[sheistheweather]

Might I suggest that this be friends-locked? This is not business that ought to be left public; regardless of the rest, dignity ought to be preserved at basic levels for everyone.

[jackien1968.livejournal.com]

In my opinion he's been quite circumspect in what he's said here and how he's said it. Just my two cents.

Jackie

[mdlbear]

I think that, in light of the fact that the relevant posts on C's and N's journals are currently public (or were the last time I checked), this should be as well.

I'd welcome input from the parties directly involved, though.

[sheistheweather]

I apologize, I hadn't seen that post from C. I rescind my comment on here and on DW.

[sheistheweather]

C appears to have just friendslocked her post. It may be worth actively checking in with the parties involved, rather than waiting for either to say something.

[mdlbear]

I've reworded it somewhat, removed a link, and taken quite a lot of detail out of the notes. I think that will be ok. Especially since N's post is still public.

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

As far as I know, everything in C's journal is friendslocked, in order to keep me out of it. It mostly doesn't seem to be used to keep anyone else out. I chose to speak publicly because I felt it was important that the truth be unhidden.

[jackien1968.livejournal.com]

It didn't hurt me the way it did you since she and I aren't close, but she defriended me on the 24th while I was still working on the most diplomatic and most gentle way of wording one or two remarks on her "caveat" post. I wasn't choosing sides, but I'm guessing her intent was to choose one for me.

Granted I've known N. for 29 years, granted I love N., but I can be loyal to her without being disloyal to everyone she's had fallings out with. I defriended C. back as soon as I got the notification, but I'm not sure I should have; I expect it will have seemed retaliatory.

I'm really glad she let you back in. I don't like to see gentle, kind people be snubbed by people they love. I hope mutual good will among all 3 of you can be regained at some point.

Hugs,
Jackie

tangential thinky thought about me

[jackien1968.livejournal.com]

After much pondering, I chose to be disloyal to M.; I gave up neutrality not for N.'s sake but for that of the kids. In this instance I have zero direct knowledge, pertinent to the kids or otherwise.

J

Re: tangential thinky thought about me

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

Just for the record, I love you and I know you're loyal to me, and I don't consider that loyalty to include disliking everyone I've had fallings-out with either. Even something this extreme. I told someone else "I expect you to be on my side. That does not equate to not also being on her side."

That said, C seems determined to make people choose sides, and has been cutting off a lot of people, so I'm told.

[mdlbear]

Or she may have been jumping to conclusions.

I hope so too. It will take a while, but...

[mdlbear]

"gentle, kind people" -- you mean me? (Only a little boggled -- I rarely think of myself in those terms.)

Uh... thanks!

[jackien1968.livejournal.com]

Of course I mean you, silly bear. I can't remember ever seeing you be mean to anyone or anything.

You're welcome!

Hugs,
Jackie

[technoshaman.livejournal.com]

Yes, Brother Bear, *you*. You've certainly earned that title, several times over.

[mdlbear]

Sometimes it's a little hard to get used to.

[technoshaman.livejournal.com]

I know. Took me a while too.

[freyjaw.livejournal.com]

Yes, you. {cuddle}