mdlbear: (river)
2024-03-11 07:46 pm
Entry tags:

River: Bling

So this morning as part of transitioning to non-binary, I got my first-ever body piercings. Three pretty little platinum helices. I am amused.

Of course, nobody but my radiology team will ever see them -- they're in my prostate. But that counts, right?

It was a lot less painful than the biopsy, which was kind of surprising. Well, except for the part where I was supposed to have a full bladder going in -- they use it as a landmark. Ouch!

I had a nice conversation with Dr. H, starting with the observation that my birthday is Wednesday. I will quote directly from her visit notes:

[mdlbear] is a very pleasant 76 year old male who presents for fiducial marker placement.

[...]

He plans to celebrate his upcoming birthday with family over Chinese food and chocolate cake.

I mentioned that I was probably going to have ma po tofu.

mdlbear: a rather old-looking spectacled bear (spectacled-bear)
2023-12-20 09:46 pm
Entry tags:

River, pc: State of the Bear:

Fred Hutch takes a "whole person" kind of approach to patient care, which isn't something I've experienced before. My "care team" currently includes three oncologists, a social worker, a "patient navigator", an "integrative medicine" specialist, and (added only this week) an accupuncturist and a chaplain. I would never have thought of looking for help with "Spiritual Health -- they came looking for me based on some of my answers on the mental health section of one of their many questionaires, but from the brief conversation I had on Monday it sounds as though it will probably be better for me than most of the previous counseling I've had. It's a strange feeling, and a strange position for an atheistic Reformed Druid to be in, but there you have it.

Physically I seem to be doing better this week, as my shrinking prostate releases its grip on my urethra, and my current mix of laxatives deals with my arse. It's all still annoying -- I'm nowhere near being back to the way I was, say, a year ago, but I'll take whatever slight improvement I can get. And today I got a referral to a physiatrist specializing in pelvic floor rehab. (I only encountered the term "physiatrist" a few months ago, but apparently the term dates back to 1938. TIL!)

This is turning out to be a long, strange trip indeed.

mdlbear: the constellation Cancer,  original 1730 (cancer)
2023-11-28 09:52 pm
Entry tags:

PC: Transitions

Content warning: unpleasant medical details. See icon. )

TL;DR, now I'm taking testosterone blockers. That's the other transition. If I were transitioning all the way to a trans woman I'd also have to be taking estrogen, but I'm not. So I guess I'm transitioning to a trans enby. I find this amusing.

mdlbear: the constellation Cancer,  original 1730 (cancer)
2023-11-10 04:58 pm
Entry tags:

River: State of the Bear

I'm starting this at a quarter after ten pm on Friday the 13th of October. It will either wait for a week before completing it, or push it out sooner and add a Part II next week. Content warning: Medical bad news, serious and maybe triggery, but not hopeless. )

New tag pc.

See CW above; enter at your own risk )

mdlbear: blue fractal bear with text "since 2002" (Default)
2016-11-06 08:38 am
Entry tags:

Done last week/month (20161030Su - 1105Sa)

My right peroneus muscle is still painful. No idea what I did to it or am doing wrong, though one article suggested that it could be plantarflection due to sleeping under heavy blankets. So maybe I should go back to sleeping on my side instead of on my back. Sleeping on my back is fairly recent, so that may be fairly simple.

I've been doing a lot of puttering, and arguably a lot less practicing than I should, given that I have a concert in less than two weeks at Orycon. I've been practicing most days this week (see notes), and I think my calluses are back, so that's something. Need to print out my set and start doing more complete runthroughs.

Halloween was fun, going out with N and her kids. Gave the adults someone to talk to.

I've been taking care of the critters, since N, G, and g are away at OVFF. Cricket's been in the Great Room, mostly hiding in the Cubhouse -- at least, that's where I usually find her when I come in. Ticia's been pretty good about not trying to come in, though I still have to warn her away from the door.

Puttering. Yeah. G' did some major re-organizing and cleanup involving the downstairs closet and playroom, and the upstairs closets. Unfortunately, this was accomplished mainly by moving things into the garage and craft room. I've been gradually moving stuff to more sensible places. Some of the decisions have been good ones, though; I'm not complaining about the kitchen cabinet re-org.

Oh, yeah: the Cubs won the World Series. I'm not a sports fan at all, but that's pretty extraordinary. If it's a sign of the apocalypse, I'm hoping that it continues with the person the wingnuts are calling the Antichrist getting into the White House. And that's the last thing I'm going to say about politics until November 9th at the earliest.

Notes & links, as usual )

mdlbear: blue fractal bear with text "since 2002" (Default)
2016-10-02 10:04 am
Entry tags:

Done last week/month (20160925Su - 1001Sa)

2016 can go hang itself. In the last week the filk community has lost Lucy Stern, Kira Heston, and JoEllyn Davidoff. Colleen's friend Bev lost her fiance. The folk world lost Oscar Brand. Enough!

The rest of it seems kind of lame. I'll try. Meanwhile, there's this infographic of the stages of grief vs reality.

I successfully replaced the USB port on Colleen's tablet -- I am now feeling fairly confident of my ability to fix modern computing devices. Meanwhile, though, Colleen had expressed an interest in replacing both her tablet and her kindle with a Kindle Fire, so when I spotted a used Fire HD 6 on sale at, well, a fire sale price, I got it for her. So now I have a Kindle paperwhite. I may go back to reading books on the bus instead of news. It would be good for my blood pressure.

My hypertension also provided a convenient excuse for not watching the presidential debate. I already know who I'm voting against, thanks. First election I can remember where Darth Vader and Cthulhu dropped out early.

At work, my sit-stand desk showed up over the weekend. Having a desk that goes down to a proper typing height, which for me turns out to be 25.5 inches, is wonderful. Tried standing a couple of times -- it hurts to do more than a couple of minutes. I'm supposed to work up to 15 minutes out of every hour. Probably not happening, but we'll see.

Also got my Microsoft ergonomic keyboard; it took me most of the week to get used to it, but it may work. If not, I can always go back to the Thinkpad keyboard. I bought one of the newer ones for home, which means that I could swap the older one I'd been using there for the one at work, which had developed a dicey space bar.

Finally got around to paying a few bills. I suck at that kind of thing.

My depression and anxiety numbers were down -- 5 each -- at my session with my therapist on Tuesday. I'm not sure the therapy is doing me much good except as a way of getting something of an objective reading on my mental state, but that's probably a good thing in its own right.

Somebody sent me a link that his daughter found and suggested putting on Interesting Places for Kids. Which I did, but it's so horribly out of date that most of its links are broken, including all of the links to it, now that I've dropped the places.to domain. (Tonga raised the rent, and I didn't think it was worth it.) Oh, and also the build system, which relied on the no-longer-maintained cPIA: XML Macro Processing in C for templating. Need to put that on GitHub. Thought I had, actually.

Oh, yeah: the link:

As the father of two 6th grade girls (twins) I've been looking for weather resources to help them with their natural disaster project in their Earth Science class! Your weather guides have been a big help. As a thank you, I wanted to send you this page that one of my daughters found: http://www.aaastateofplay.com/staying-safe-outdoors-in-severe-weather/.

And I'm primary oncall next week. Oh, joy! It's probably going to be a busy one, though hopefully not as rough as the last one.

Notes & links, as usual )

mdlbear: blue fractal bear with text "since 2002" (Default)
2016-08-01 06:08 pm
Entry tags:

Sleepless in Seattle; I blame my desk

So, in the interest of raising my word count for the day, have a post.

Please note: this post describes a medical situation that turned out not to be the emergency I thought it might have been; I'm ok and, as it turns out, was never in any danger. However, if you have problems reading about medical emergencies, scary symptoms, hospitals, or needles you will probably be best off with the cut text.

tl;dr: I'm ok. Nothing to worry about. )

Lab work, EKGs, and X-rays all looking perfectly normal, around 3:30 am they gave me my discharge paperwork, and I called G for a ride home. He was sleepy; N came instead. Have I mentioned recently how awesome my sister is? She's awesome.

Note that at this point most of the pain had gone away, but there was still a little achiness around my right shoulder, and the second joint of my right index finger was still almost as painful as it had been at the start. It still is, over 12 hours later.

On the way home N, who is a professional massage therapist, said that it sounded like a pinched nerve was the most likely explanation. Specifically, something called thoracic outlet syndrome. Which is sort of like carpal tunnel syndrome, only between your collarbone and your first rib.

When we got home, I put a sick day on my work calendar -- if I go to the ER in the middle of the night I've damned well earned a sick day no matter how much better I feel in the morning.

So here's what Wikipedia says about it: "Pain can be present on an intermittent or permanent basis. It can be sharp/stabbing, burning, or aching. TOS can involve only part of the hand (as in the 4th and 5th finger only), all of the hand, or [...] the pectoral area below the clavicle, [...] and the upper back (i.e., the trapezius and rhomboid area)." Um... right. What they said.

"The two groups of people most likely to develop TOS are [...] and those who use computers in non-ergonomic postures for extended periods of time. TOS is frequently a repetitive stress injury (RSI) caused by certain types of work environments." ... and I noticed, as I sat there at my desk with my right hand on the trackball, that my right shoulder was uncomfortably higher than my left one.

My desk at home, which consists of a sheet of plywood resting on a 2-drawer filing cabinet and a couple of 2x2 legs, is about 3" (7.5cm) higher than it needs to be. That would probably do it.

... so it looks like I need to take everything off my (cluttered) desk, disassemble the thing, make shorter legs for it, and put everything back. Grumble.

mdlbear: blue fractal bear with text "since 2002" (Default)
2012-03-21 09:30 am
Entry tags:

Done yesterday (20120320 Tu)

It didn't feel like a terribly productive day, but between a 1-mile walk, a dentist appointment, looking at scooters, and helping Colleen triage cookbooks, I must have gotten something done.

Work was basically more of the same: file triage and backups.

There's nothing like an empty shelf and piles of books looking for a new home to make the move start to feel real.

As for scooters, we're looking at the Pride Celebrity X - it's bigger and more stable than Colleen's current one, which we'd keep for travel because it's a *lot* lighter and can be stuffed into the Honda's trunk.

raw notes )
mdlbear: blue fractal bear with text "since 2002" (Default)
2012-03-18 09:34 am
Entry tags:

Done yesterday (20120317 Sa)

A pretty good day. I even took a walk, albeit a short one because the weather looked dicey. I felt a few stray drops, but stayed dry. (In fact, it did rain, hard, in the evening, and I got wet taking the garbage out.) I walked over to Savers in search of dress pants, and found a pair of dark gray ones that will work nicely with the darker of the silk jackets and the gray-and-black striped shirt that I'm wearing now.

Hey, I'm a fan. Dressing up for an interview is cosplay. Easy.

I made a yummy pot roast for dinner, using most of a bottle of cheap red wine and two bottles of non-alcoholic beer (left over from the last party, because nobody would actually drink the stuff). I had some of the broth in a mug -- it made lovely soup. And a cole slaw, with half a head of cabbage and a Granny Smith apple.

I got the Mac Mini, Whitewood, installed on the desktop to the right of the main monitor, and got x2vnc installed and working. That'll be my machine for doing taxes.

And I got through about 2/3 of the pile of papers to the left of the desk, turning up my (expired) passport, two uncashed checks, a renewal notice from AARP, some still-valid Office Max discount cards, ..., and some sore muscles in my left side from reaching back to throw stuff in the recycle bin.

In a separate search, I found a photostat of my birth certificate and the stub from my social security card. So that's good.

In other news, the move to Seattle is looking more and more feasible. Colleen spent several hours thinking about what books she wanted to keep, and searching for restaurants and museums. Naomi and I talked about housing options. Moving is going to be somewhat hellish, but we'll manage somehow.

I am encouraged by the fact that an albatross, metaphorically a dead weight hung around one's neck as a penance, is a beautiful and far-traveling seabird when it's alive.

And finally, Colleen made it through the entire day without using her scooter -- I think that's the first time in months.

raw notes )
mdlbear: blue fractal bear with text "since 2002" (Default)
2012-03-17 10:29 am

Done yesterday (20120316 Fr)

So... I guess the main thing that happened yesterday was the idiocy with my pension, which you can read about in the previous post or in the notes, so I don't have to repeat it here. Which is just as well for my blood pressure; it's already too high. That started around 2pm; I spent the rest of the afternoon pretty much a basket case.

Maybe I'm a little bit fragile right now? Oh, right.

After having tried my monster 1600x1200 monitor on the desk, I decided to take home the 17" Samsung, which is now sitting comfortably atop the mac mini and its backup drive. Its first task will be running the application formerly known as TaxCut. Since I have no intention of running it on the Windows partition of my netbook, thank you very much. Not going there.

As for links, how about Out of Reach 2012: National Low Income Housing Coalition, wherein it is shown that there is *no place in the country* where one can afford rent on a minimum-wage job. Just what I needed to know right now.

OK, go look at S. J. Tucker's music videos. Much better.

raw notes )
mdlbear: blue fractal bear with text "since 2002" (Default)
2012-03-16 08:16 pm
Entry tags:

Done yesterday (20120315 Th)

Hmm. OK, I guess. My time at work was mostly spent on a combination of triage and archiving for my files. Including figuring out which parts are open source, and so can be put up as part of my portfolio.

I also brought home the Mac Mini and an enormous (160x1200 20" Dell) monitor that I may decide to take back on Monday because it's just too huge and power-hungry. It has a 20" usable area, but at least a 2-inch-wide bezel around it, making it about 25" overall. I also have a 1920x1200 monitor that's about half the weight, and not much bigger overall. That one's a keeper.

We went out to Red Lobster for Colleen's birthday dinner. Yum. The RL is in the same shopping center as a Ross; I picked up three assorted shirts, two with colors that should go well with my new silk sport coats.

I had a couple of painful twinges in my left side. Possibly a gallstone or kidney stone. Seems to be gone for the moment, but I don't trust my body any farther than I can throw it. Or something like that.

raw notes )
mdlbear: blue fractal bear with text "since 2002" (Default)
2012-02-20 08:36 am
Entry tags:

Done yesterday (20120219 Su)

Most of the day -- the afternoon and evening -- was spent at Jennifer and Moshe's Wedding I'm very glad we went, even though it was exhausting and loud and... Such a lot of happy energy! Great people-watching, too. I decided to sit with Colleen and some of the other old folks and watch the dancing rather than try to join it. Considering how exhausted I was when I flopped into bed, this was probably a good choice.

I seem to have become one of the "old folks" -- I'm clearly in the parents' generation now. My (younger) brother has grandkids. Gleep!

Given the noise level -- far too high for talking -- I spent pretty much the entire event, except for the actual ceremony, in a little personal bubble, not even trying to get into conversations. I seem to have gotten better at that, and I'm getting used to it as well. I do wish they'd mixed people up; we knew everyone at our table (the "filkers' table"), so I didn't get to meet anyone at dinner, and only two people at one of the receptions.

But, a good day. I'll take it.

raw notes )
mdlbear: blue fractal bear with text "since 2002" (Default)
2012-02-04 10:34 am
Entry tags:

Done yesterday (20120203 Fr)

A pretty good day, despite not getting very much done. Took a 2-mile walk, which went pretty well modulo a little hip pain and the fact that my pants don't fit very well right now. My weight was under 190 for the first time since 2009! It was still down this morning, so it's possible I have some momentum going there. Hope so; my goal is to have a waist again.

I installed Puppy Linux on one of my keychain drives using UNetbootin, which totally rocks! Puppy didn't quite know what to make of the large screen on Cygnus, and it didn't have the right wifi drivers, but it has enough tools to be useful and it'll probably do just fine on my older hardware. UNetbootin, for those who don't know, is a cross-platform program that lets you select from a list of dozens of live CDs, which it then downloads for you and installs on a USB drive. Slick.

Public service announcement: Google apparently added all my gmail contacts as IM "buddies". Growf. I have, accordingly, disabled the gmail and lj accounts in my IM client; if you want to talk to me, you're stuck with Yahoo or AIM for the moment. I'd welcome feedback on that decision.

Link sausage: Can Augmented Reality Save the Printed Page? (cute hack) and What would Sharon do? - Cringely (computers and education).

raw notes )
mdlbear: blue fractal bear with text "since 2002" (Default)
2012-01-05 08:43 am
Entry tags:

Done yesterday (20110104 We)

Not all that good a day. I woke up with a painful cramp in my right calf -- this has happened before, I don't know what causes it, and I don't like it. At least, after the first few steps, it didn't hurt to walk. But in the afternoon after I did walk about half a mile, which actually seemed to help, it hurt more the next time I stood up after sitting for a couple of hours.

Still hurts a little after a night with muscle relaxant and naproxen. *goes to take another dose*

I left my computer glasses at work. The old ones are noticably worse.

... and Chaos's keys and student ID/transit pass ended up getting dropped into a random mailbox, rather than our mailbox. I would love to have listened to the conversation wherein the two people involved each managed to confirm what they thought the other meant, rather than what was actually said. Not a happy bear; Colleen thinks I got inappropriately angry. It certainly drove off most of the Wednesday guests; the house was empty well before 11.

Growf. Not a good day. Be nice if I could breathe, too.

raw notes )
mdlbear: blue fractal bear with text "since 2002" (Default)
2011-12-25 11:09 pm
Entry tags:

Done yesterday (20111224 Sa)

Hmm. The day had its ups and downs, I guess. I feel particularly good about my st/roll with Colleen around the Rose Garden, and I got some practicing in, and major bug-fixing done the new makefile for recording directories. And quite a lot of decluttering, and a verse and chorus of a parody (still in progress).

On the other hand, I got very stressed in the early afternoon -- not sure whether it was sensory overload, family friction, or what -- the walk helped a lot.

On the gripping hand, I actually noticed at the time that mailing my filk to Naomi and getting thwapped for it made me happy. I may be getting better at that.

On the fourth hand, I wound up feeling very discouraged, especially when Colleen pointed out that I hadn't gotten any of my usual oddball stocking stuffers. She sent me out into the cold; Fry's was closed, but CVS was open and had gift cards and some suitable small tools.

So the day ended pretty well, at least.

No links. Must have been busy.

raw notes )
mdlbear: blue fractal bear with text "since 2002" (Default)
2011-11-25 10:58 pm
Entry tags:

Done yesterday (1124 Th Thanksgiving)

Yesterday was the first Thanksgiving we've spent at home in 12 years. It came off pretty well. Everyone cooperated on dinner: the YD cut the potatoes for mashing, made cornbread and salad, and the mincemeat and pumpkin pies. (The gluten-free crust, found frozen at Whole Foods, was excellently flaky.) Colleen made the stuffing, at least up to the point of adding the liquid ingredients. I cooked the turkey, boiled and mashed the potatoes, and made the stuffing and gravy. Yum.

Oh, and a rather bright guacamole for a snack.

Oddly enough, I actually enjoyed cleaning up, too. Kind of mindless and soothing. Which I needed.

It felt like a very long day, somewhere in the middle of the evening, but it also felt like I hadn't gotten much done. I don't think either was true, but that's how it felt. Not a bad day, I guess.

Maybe I'm just worried about my friends.

raw notes )
mdlbear: blue fractal bear with text "since 2002" (Default)
2011-11-01 08:43 am
Entry tags:

Done yesterday (20111031 Mo)

A good day? Mostly. I went up to the Menlo Park office for a meeting, and took my walk to and around the little artificial pond in the nearby park. I was struck by how many phone conversations I recalled while passing the place where I'd had them. Apparently location is a powerful trigger for me. (Now I'm finding that just thinking about the places brings back more memories. Eeep!)

I spent some time comparing netbooks -- I am now thinking of a Thinkpad X120e. The HP Pavilion dm1z has gotten better reviews, but I really want the pointing stick and middle mouse button.

I also spent some time researching laryngopharyngeal reflux (again). After rejecting the idea of using omeprazole (which interferes with citalopram metabolism), I decided to try raising the head of my bed about 10". This appears to have worked -- I woke up able to breathe and without having to constantly clear my throat. So... YAY!

Another patent with my name on it has issued. I have very mixed feelings about this: there's a sense of accomplishment, but I really hate the idea of software patents (which this is, like most of mine). I have 24 now.

A long phone call from a lonely Wolfling -- she's depressed, and I don't know how to help. I don't know what to call that feeling, but it hurts. Empathy? Maybe that's why I kept my feelings buried for so long, and so deep that I didn't know I had them.

A couple of good links: Ysabetwordsmith's Asexual Awareness Week Wrapup, Liralen on the difference between religion and faith (among other things). As a total outsider to religion, I've mostly seen its bad side; "faith" in particular has always baffled me.

Hmm. This one seems to have gone a little deeper than usual. Have to do more of that.

raw notes )
mdlbear: blue fractal bear with text "since 2002" (Default)
2011-10-20 08:33 am
Entry tags:

Done yesterday (20111019 We)

I need to finish up and post this, don't I. Can you say "distracted"? I'm leaving for Seattle this evening.

I'm mostly packed.

My weight is down, which is cheering, and I got a (presumably junk) call on my fax number. *grins* I also took a walk, though a short one: about a mile and a half.

Some good links, but the most happy-making was definitely this one. Don't piss off the Remover of Obstacles. Not keyboard-safe. Not at all.

raw notes )

mdlbear: blue fractal bear with text "since 2002" (Default)
2011-10-11 09:17 am
Entry tags:

Done yesterday (20111010 Mo)

Mumph. No walk -- both the weather and my left foot were a bit dicey. Grumph. I spent most of work reading documentation, and most of the evening looking for things. Which I eventually found -- more on that below -- but I spent too much time on my knees and bending over, and ended up pretty wrecked. Went to bed early, and wound up spending the hour between 3:30 and 4:30 reading. Thank goodness for Science! It's complex enough that it can grab the hamsters in my head away from their wheels and thwap them until they stop moving. (The next move would be to feed them to the snakes, but I don't think I have snakes in my head right now.)

The one really good thing is that Plink's new bag arrived. It's a Wilson BLX sling bag originally intended for tennis racquets. Plink fits nicely with only her head and an inch of neck showing, along with my songbook (a 1.5" binder). The secondary compartment will hold Minnie, with a little finagling. The obvious name for him is Max Wilson. I think he's Minnie's big brother.

I posted a signal boost for Alan Grayson's Where's Your $50,000?, but it was pointed out in comments that the GAO report shows that he's playing fast and loose with the numbers, counting repeated short-term loans as multiple transactions. There's currently an outstanding balance of about a trillion, and the Federal Reserve is actually making money on the deal.

On the other hand, there's still plenty to be angry about. I believe it's fairly certain that if we still had the tax and regulatory structure that was in place pre-Reagan, the government would have a budget surplus and banks would not be too big to fail.

More links below.

raw notes )
mdlbear: blue fractal bear with text "since 2002" (Default)
2011-09-20 07:41 am
Entry tags:

Done yesterday (20110919 Mo)

raw notes )

It was a pretty productive day at work -- an all-hands meeting in the morning, and a successful installation of the open-source software I'm testing. I'm not complaining.

I can complain all I want to about the flaky right knee; it seems to be better this morning, but I know better than to trust it.

Link/quote of the day: I refuse to believe that corporations are people until Texas executes one.

... and [personal profile] moonvoice has finally finished The Bronze Forest. Go look -- it's amazing.

Other links in the notes, as usual.