River: National Widow's Day

[mdlbear]

So it turns out that today (assuming this gets posted on May 3rd, as intended) is National Widow's Day. Not to be confused with International Widows’ Day, which is June 23rd. The latter is specifically for widows and not widowers, which is fair: in much of the world there is a lot of inequality between men and women, which leaves a woman who has lost her husband a great deal worse off than a man who has lost his wife.

Some of the organizations associated with National Widow's Day, like the Hope For Widows Foundation, are also exclusively for women. Others, like Widow Wednesday, the faith-based group that started the observance (you can't really call it a holiday) in 2014, mention widowers as well, but not very prominently. A quick search only turned up one blogger who called it National Widow/Widower’s Day, and she dropped the "/Widower" part the next year.

I'm not here to complain about widowers' lack of representation today, though, nor about the heavily Christian slant of most of what's written about the day. I'm not really sure why I am here, except perhaps to use it as an excuse to put Colleen's name into a post. Not that I need an excuse. Neither do you. As this post on Hope for Widows says, the greatest gift you can give someone who's grieving is to let them know that their person is remembered.

I think there was something else I thought of saying when I started this post yesterday, but I've forgotten it. Thanks for listening.

Comments

A gift for you

[ng_moonmoth]

Remembering all the good times at the Starport, of which Colleen was a very important part. And all the other times, too. Talking with her was always fun. I especially remember her Great Wall of Cookbooks. We have a few.

Re: A gift for you

[mdlbear]

Thank you!

[kjn]

My understanding is that there are two conflicting dimensions on well a widow and a widower fares, respectively (limited to Western industrialised countries). On the economic side, yes, widows are a great deal worse off. But widowers tend to be much worse off socially and as a result psychologically, especially after retirement. Part of the masculine ideal of patriarchy is the way it discourages friendship between men outside specific circumstances, and the profession was a huge part of those for many men.

[mdlbear]

That's true, and pretty accurate in my case. It has less to do with the patriarchy than with the fact that my wife was an extrovert who built us a vibrant social life centered around the SCA, SF conventions and our house in San Jose; it never recovered after we moved to the Seattle area.

If it hadn't been for N taking me in, I would probably be almost completely isolated now.

[annathepiper]

I remember Colleen and honor her memory.

[mdlbear]

Thanks!

[freyjaw]

I'll never forget Colleen, Starport, and you. After all, Chris and I got married at Starport. You officiated a lasting marriage. You did perfectly.

[mdlbear]

Thanks!

[annathepiper]

You are very welcome.