Done Since 2023-09-24

[mdlbear]

Bad week. Pain, bad news, impending possibly-very-bad news, hopefully-not-permanent life change. Death of a friend. I am glad the week is over, but fear that its problems will continue.

Content warning: it is too late and I am in too much pain to do a whole lot of editing of the log tonight. Parts are merely boring, other parts may include unpleasant medical details.

Top links: beware of rabbit hole: All objects and some questions | American Journal of Physics | AIP Publishing (via The Plot of All Objects in the Universe) Is the universe a black hole?

Notes & links:
0925Su
  & awake 0ish; woke up in recliner (no mask, obviously);
  * up 5:30ish; S=4:36, BP=127/78, P=60; exercises,
  * 15min:  brought coromandel boxes up from garage for N to sort.  Still have to bring up
    the two smaller desk boxes.  The large desk box I assume will get sold.
    % heating pad for back pain (wonder what I did to it...)
  * 15min:  kitchen, bedroom, back bathroom trash
  * 15min:  triage in back bathroom and a little more; with g"
    % back pain: R QL -> heat.  From bending -- I know better than to actually lift stuff
      I was not planning to spend most of the afternoon on a heating pad, but that's what
      it looks like I'll be doing.
  % 17:59 -- fortunately the vibration of the car seat _helps_ my back.
  % 21:24 sitting in bed with a heating pad and a purring cat, listening to the rain
    ! contented?  Calm, at any rate.
  @ The Five Levels Of Grief. | by Alma Alexander | Sep, 2023 | Medium
    % I don't think I can feel anything that deeply.  I wish I could.

0925Mo  * litter boxen
  & awake 0:30ish
  & awake 3:30ish; did not get back to sleep.  Lots of nice cat cuddling, though
  * Up 4:45; S=6:11;  bed exercises
    % sitting in bed reading email etc. because I'm unlikely to get back to sleep now
  : email from R about fetching his stuff from RE; my plan is to drive it down sometime
    next week or the week after.
  @ Young activists from Portugal take 32 governments to court for failing to address
    climate change | PBS NewsHour 
  . do not take iron supplements between now and MRI (48hours) (not that I have them yet)
  % 07:07 docusate 2x100mg
  @ Intro to HTMX: Dynamic HTML without JavaScript | InfoWorld
  @ At-Home OTC COVID-19 Diagnostic Tests | FDA with table
  : $G's stupid assistant broke into a conversation for the last time when G said
    something about enabling $G (across the room).
    -> disabled with help from G
    -> Not going to miss it -- it's never done anything for me when I've explicitly asked,
       like answering the phone in the car or dismissing the alarm when I'm in bed.
  * pay Surety -- requires check.
    * Put checkbook in backpack
  @ down the rabbit-hole of Duolingo Blog
    I think I got here from noticing that they taught Esperanto and Klingon, which led to
    yet another dive through Constructed language on Wikipedia
  * call Harborview Imaging to ask about prep -- different from handout, see Wed.
  @ Tracking the journey of a uranium cube | Physics Today | AIP Publishing
  % a second package of fiber cookies.  Doesn't hurt that they're tasty. 
  % 20:45 100mg docusate sodium, 220mg naproxen  BP=137/83, P=69, W ~=193
  * guitar:  Talking Blues, Bad Guys, Band Played...

0926Tu
  & awake 01:50; laptop, no mask.  
  & not clear how many times I woke up -- pronbably 2.  But mask.
  * up 7ish; S=4:22
  @ Antiviral Covid drug linked to virus mutations, study suggests | The Independent
  @ Getty made an AI generator that only trained on its licensed images - The Verge
  * 10:00 - Healing Center - Memory Keepers group
  * 45cc Milk of Magnesia laxatives ~1800
  -> N suggested the ER; have been at NortWest since ~7:30.  Now 21:12
  -> drained nearly 2l of piss -- "need to go" is 0.5l, "full" is 1l
  -> needed a second and more painful (because larger) catheter.
  -> 02:29 home.  gave Ticia her treats and food.  Bending over makes catheter hurt.
  * finish A Psalm for the Wild Built
  % should probably try to shit before I go to bed.
  % 11:10 tylenol
  % 02:57 200mg ibuprofen
  & put bowel prep off to tomorrow because I don't have a sink in the Lair that it fits in

0927We  * litter boxen
  * up 6:30; S=3:30; P=3.5; Dutch
  % 09:22 1g tylenol
  % some bleeding and pain around catheter
    -> 10am advice nurse said maybe take it to ER or urgent care within a couple of hours
    n.b. if I go to the ER at NW I won't make it to the appointment at Harborview
  * light breakfast.  skip lunch.  No solid food from noon on
    -> 10:50ish  eggs on toast
  -> call Harborview Imaging  Tech says foley not a problem
  -> call urology (NW) (Mandi's office) pain and slight bleeding are normal; should
     resolve in ~24h.  Also the bladder is being irritated by the catheter.  As long as
     I'm drinking lots of fluids (which I haven't been -- will start) and it's going into
     the bag, I'm okay.
     -> AZO for bladder pain (one of several AZO products) (turns urine orange)
  % 13:32 sleepy
  @ Forty years of GNU and the free software movement — Free Software Foundation
  @ Emergency alert system test coming to phones, TVs, and radios | Popular Science
    * no coffee, milk, or chocolate before scan; no liquids from 3:30
  * arrive 4:15 for prostate MRI -- Starts at 4:45 PM (1 hour)  Will have to be driven!
    -> called for clarification about prep.
    -> fleet enema before leaving house -> not required.  (may do one in the am anyway)
    MRI: Prostate Scan: How to prepare and what to expect - 08/2021 | Health Online
    -> took Lyft both ways -- first time I've used it
    -> they were running badly behind.  I kept myself amused on the phone
    -> only bad part, really, was having to leave in the middle of "Sugar Magnolia"
  : Bartell pharmacy open until 8pm
  % 20:54 feeling pretty out-of-it,  Should go splat.
  * load drugs

0928Th
  * up 5:40ish; S=6:42;
    -> still painful - ~4.5; still some bleeding
    % 6am 1g acetaminophen (2 capsules),  next dose 12:00 (6h), no more than one after that
    % 300mg docusate sodium (3)
    % 06:18 triple antibiotic ointment with pain relief - not helping much yet
  % 09:02 pain pretty high after doing some recycling and returning to house.
  % 10:01 senna 
  % 10:05 Phenazopyridine 99.8mg
    -> 13:51 What do ya know-- it really appears to work. (still some pain at the tip)
  % 10:25 400mg ibuprofen
  ~ pay AX if necessary  -> not due yet; $2000 from USB to AXgold to get head start
  @ PetaPixel · Dec 9, 2022 Raspberry Pi Under Fire by Creators Who Are Upset it Hired a
    Former Cop...accused of being snarky and flippant towards those who voice concerns.
  @ Road Hazard: Evidence Mounts on Toxic Pollution from Tires - Yale E360
  % 12:38 sleepy
  % 14:58 Phenazopyridine  15:18 polyethylene glycol 3350 (MiraLAX)
  @ Solastalgia: the distress caused by environmental change - PubMed
  @ siderea | How to Compete with Patreon [New Media, Tech, Patreon]
  % 15:56 pain heading up again. -> ibuprofen -- got distracted and couldn't remember
    whether I'd taken the acetaminophen that I'd intended to.  :P
    -> next dose of acetaminophen could be ~10pm
  % 19:28 sleepy and drifting for the last hour or so
  % 21:32 senna (1 tablet)  21:47 polyethelene glycol 3350 (MiraLAX)
  % left my phone behind and had to go back to the house for it
  * heading for bed 22:30

1029Fr  * litter boxen
  & awake 3:30; S=4:21;
  * up 8:30ish; S=8:40; Dutch
  % 8:40 docusate 300mg
  & enema -- some chunks, clear liquid  -> a little more later
  % 10:28 2 senna, dose (2 tabs) Phenazopyridine; 10:47 2 ibuprofen
  % much more comfortable with no underpants.  Could maybe get away with my usual boxers
    no blood on the others, so probably just the irritation
  * BEFORE NOON - call Urology  -> called ~10; now 12:30, waiting for callback
    -> 13:20 called back --> taking briefs off was the right move.
       aquaphor skin protectant lotion may help.  sounds like I should also put some more
       of the triple antibiotic ointment on it.
    % noticed some actual leakage ~14:15 (easy to detect with the dye)
  @ I follow you for tech, not politics | Go Make Things
    " all tech is political. All technology either reinforces or fights against existing
      social systems. ... In a modern capitalist society, nearly all technology requires
      ethical concessions. But that doesn’t mean we should just give up and support
      obviously bad shit. "
  * vet apppointments for the boys
  : 1:30 missed a call from (urologist)Mandi -- didn't notice that I had voicemail until
    it was too late to call back.  And of course it's Friday.
  ! depressed.  The catheter, with its memories of Colleen, may be contributing
  % acetaminophen 1g; 199mg (2 tabs) Phenazopyridine ... fiber cookies.

1030Sa
  & awake 1:50; S=3:05; did not get back to sleep
  * up? 3:20; S=4:20; 
    % worried.  scared?  Am I going to have this damned bag the rest of my life?
    @ Accessibility for the disabled in the Netherlands: 5 Tips When Visiting Holland 
      Accessible Travel Netherlands
      Travelling for the disabled - Holland.com
    @ Disability support services for wheelchair users in the Netherlands
      " Wheelchair users living in the Netherlands can apply for home accessibility
        modifications or renovations through the municipality "
  : from (urologist)Mandi:  "findings consistent with T2a [prostate cancer], provided
    targeted biopsies are positive. "  -> Thursday
    @ Prostate Cancer Stages | Johns Hopkins Medicine
      " T2a: The tumor has invaded one-half (or less) of one side of the prostate. "
    from MRI report: " bladder: trabeculated "
    Trabeculation of the bladder  " If the elasticity of the bladder wall muscles is
      lost, it can be difficult to regain. "
  -> so I may very well be screwed
  @ All objects and some questions | American Journal of Physics | AIP Publishing
    (via The Plot of All Objects in the Universe) Is the universe a black hole?
  * up 6:45ish;  S=4:20; very dehydrated, of course
    % fairly vivid dream -- I was leaving a place that my mind labeled Ricoh, only it was
      on the 6th floor like AdvanSoft.  I was the last one to leave that night, but I kept
      forgetting to lock up, so it took 4 or 5 elevator trips.  The last few, I had Ticia
      with me.  She let me pick her up and carry her.
  % the future looks rather bleak.
  % 07:57 1g acetaminophen; ointment
  * no supplements or aspirin until Friday  -* unload from drug sorters
  % pain worse, not better, than yesterday.  -> urgent care or ER
  @ First Hands-On With ChatGPT Vision | by Thomas Smith | The Generator | Sep, 2023
    Image inputs for ChatGPT - FAQ | OpenAI Help Center
  % neosporin +lidocaine seems to work pretty well on the pain
  * get in line for Urgent Care -> 2pm at Ballard
  * 15min:  dishes
  * 2pm urgent care Ballard -> cleanup.  prescription for topical lidocaine
  * pick up antibiotics at Bartells - they called at 10:20 to say my order was ready
    -> pick up the lidocaine tomorrow
  @ Mozilla AI Guide
  ~ _didn't_ drive up to RE -- N doesn't want me to drive alone, at least for now.
  % ~5:30 17g polyethylene glycol (miralax)  disolved in 8oz water.
  : Douglas E. Berry.  July 4 1966 - September 30 2023.  Hail the new ancestor.
    Doug Berry (@gridlore) died today.
    (see also Alt.Callahans)
  & look up catheter care -- I really need a supply of night bags, leg bags, etc.
  % I've been doing it wrong and endangering myself.  Nobody tells me these things.  And
    my brain isn't working well.

Comments

[redsixwing]

*support support*

[mdlbear]

Thanks.

[cornerofmadness]

sorry to hear about it all

[andyheninger]

I'm so sorry to learn of the medical problems, and hope that you're feeling better soon. Sending virtual hugs ...

-- Andy