Done yesterday

[mdlbear]

0315 Su
  * awake 7:40, out of bed 8:30
    bltc: flexeril lets me sleep well and soundly; I need to be careful 
    	  when I have to get up at a particular time.  
  * W=189.4; drugs; make coffee, emergen-c
  * LJ tag: bltc = better living through chemistry
    (useable in public posts w/o specifying which chemical)
  ~ 12:15 Colleen: Remicade
  & visit Colleen.  paperwork, scheduling.
    ! happy. esp. when snuggling, brushing her hair, holding her hand
    ! concerned: she scored pretty high on the depression scale.  No surprise.
  & a rare call from a phone-phobic friend with good news
  & 14:13 post what makes me happy?
    ! enthralled:  excited, accomplished, and pleased with myself
  * buy: USB charger for Colleen's mp3 player, 
  * buy coffee
  & second call from $friend.  Wow!
    ! delighted; proud of $friend's progress.
  * buy 1TB or ->1.5TB drive for Nova
  * buy quiet power supply for nova
  * buy USB charger, phone cable coupler for fax
  * locate and bring in Colleen's wedding ring.
    ! romantic
  * bring shirts, pants for Colleen to wear to PT
  & 7:30ish Colleen  ! loved
  * call from Mom
  * dinner (YD cooked).  Dishes, clean out drinks from tub
  * bath
  * bed ~11:45

Between coffee and some long-deferred computer upgrades it was a fairly expensive day; shopping is fun, but not as much as it used to be. I had a list, and stuck to it pretty well.

The high points of the day, I think, were two phone calls from a normally very phone-phobic friend. I was delighted to get the first one, not merely because I enjoy getting calls from my friends, but because I was pleased with the progress and trust it demonstrated. The second was simply mind-bogglingly amazing. Good work! Go you!!

OK, mudita is rejoicing in someone else's happiness - it's roughly the opposite of jealousy. What do you call the opposite of envy: pride in someone else's accomplishment? Anyway, that.

Figuring out what kind of things I can do that make me happy gave me an odd sense of accomplishment. This self-exploration thing is hard work, but I like it.

Comments

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

*blush* I admit to being the phone-phobic friend in question. Thanks for being proud of me. I was pretty proud of myself too. The first call was hard; the second one wasn't, partly because I'd already made the first and had the clear memory of a good reception in mind and partly because I had so little time to think about it -- it was just "grab the phone and let Steve know the shuttle's about to launch" that I didn't work myself up into nervousness the way I usually do.

[mdlbear]

Yay!!! And you're most welcome!

We're good influences on one another, aren't we?

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

I certainly think so!

[wyld-dandelyon.livejournal.com]

Well, the word for being happy for a person you're in a relationship with because they have another relationship that is making them happy is compersion. Most often applied to significant others, but not exclusively.

Kind of the opposite of jealousy.

Not sure if there's a separate word for second-hand pride, though. In any event, I can't think of one right now.

[mdlbear]

Mudita is more general than compersion -- it lacks the relationship component. Haven't found the second-hand pride one yet. Might just be covered by pride, e.g. a parent's pride in their child's success. But you'd think...

[hawklady.livejournal.com]

I think mudita is a good word for the pride in someone else's accomplishment. It's not that far a step from joy, is it?

In a sense, parental pride could be interpreted as personal pride and not truly altruistic. A part of the kid's success could arguably be attributed to the parenting efforts. Kiddo may have done the work, but parents taught her to persevere, or be disciplined, or supported the lessons involved, etc.

Whereas most of the time when a friend is happy, it's not something you had any influence over.

[mdlbear]

It feels as though there ought to be a difference between happiness at her happiness - mudita - and happiness at her accomplishment. The emotion at her end is different, so they ought to have different names on my end.

Good point about parental pride, though.

And actually, we've both been helping one another with phone phobia and various other problems, so there's a little personal pride in there, but mostly it's about her.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

There's no English word for envy without malice, either. I mean the kind of envy that says, "You have just gotten and/or done something really nifty, and I wish I could have or do the same thing, but meanwhile I'm also glad that it made you happy." The common phrase "I'm so happy for you" sounds insincere and possibly even bitter. And even the Buddhists don't seem to have a word for that kind of envy. (And that's almost always the kind of envy I feel.)

[mdlbear]

Yeah; I feel that way about certain songs: I wish I could have written it, but it's one of my favorites and I'm damned-well going to keep on singing it. Or playing it for everyone I meet, if it's one I can't sing myself.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

And I envy (in the same sense) you for being able to write and play music. I can sing (mostly on-key), and I can put together words, but the only instrument I ever learned to play was the piano, and I've forgotten most of it. And I've always wished I could make up tunes to fit my words.