Chaos has left the building

[mdlbear]

About 20 minutes ago my older daughter, chaoswolf, left for Seattle.

The house seems very quiet.

I have no idea what I'm feeling, but it's hitting me harder than I expected.

Comments

[wyld-dandelyon.livejournal.com]

Life changes, especially ones with conflicting emotions, often hit this way. I would guess your feelings include positive ones, like pride in your daughter's independence and accomplishment that you helped her when needed and got out of the way when needed, and others, like the fact that you'll miss having her as a daily part of your life.

Even for people used to noticing their emotions, feeling a variety of emotions at the same time, especially when some are contradictory, is hard.

[mdlbear]

Colleen's been upset about it for months; I haven't, which led me to believe that it wouldn't affect me much. I'm not at all used to these major mood swings.

[wyld-dandelyon.livejournal.com]

Given your comment recently about looking in a mirror and realizing you were smiling, what you are probably not used to is noticing the moods.

The good news is that once you get used to it, noticing them and being able to express them makes them more manageable.

I'm sure you've heard the expression that joy shared is multiplied, sorrow shared is lessened. (-:

[mdlbear]

Well, up until recently I hardly ever had mood swings -- my mood was usually somewhere between down and sort-of ok.

[fireskin.livejournal.com]

When my two oldest moved out on their own it felt like a part of my soul had been torn out. Like I didn't even know who I was anymore if I wasn't mom to that child, right then. A very lost feeling.

But as time passed and they called and we played WOW together and saw each other on vacations I adjusted and now am really enjoying this adult phase of my childrens lives. My life is a little free-er and when we are together there is no longer the resentment of a young adult trying to establish their independence and identity. We have become closer for them being more distant, if that makes sense.

*HUGS FOR BOTH STEVE AND COLLEEN*

[mdlbear]

Colleen felt most of her pain beforehand, I think; I felt mine last night after she left.

I think we're both OK now, though it will be a while before we get used to not having her around.