Done yesterday (20090403)

[mdlbear]

0403 Fr
  * up 6:20; W=188.0; drugs, nose; coffee, emergen-c
  * take Colleen's laundry to her on the way to work
  * 9am meeting at CRC
  ! Brad noticed I look happier.  N thinks so, too.
    so do I, for that matter.  Good friends and good drugs.
  &- mentioned the Spoon Theory -- he hadn't heard of it.
  &- IM is probably helping me be more aware of my emotional body-language.
  & call from Colleen.  8x40sec standing with walker!
    ! happy.  optimistic.
  ! 2:16 somewhat nervous
  * 2:30 all hands meeting at CRC
    ! 3:00 relieved.  Main effect on me is no raise this year.  OK.
  & Visit Colleen; gave her a copy of Kat's farewell letter
  & laundry for Colleen
  & Mud made dinner.  Yum.
  * Cleaned in sewing room.  Will need vacuuming.
  * 10:10 Chaos leaves
    ! indescribably mixed.  Hit harder than I expected.  Some grief?
  ! 11:35 hard to concentrate.  Weird to have something going on in my head
    that I can't think about because I don't have words for it.
  * bed ~00:15

Several people said I seemed happier than usual. Even I notice it. I may simply have to accept it.

I discovered that one of my younger coworkers hadn't heard of "spoons". Maybe he doesn't have any friends with fibromyalgia. Anyway, I fixed that. Just google for "spoon theory" if you can't remember where to find it.

Realized that verbalizing my emotions for IM and LJ (especially these "done yesterday" posts) is probably helping a lot to make me more aware both of my emotions and my emotional body-language. In IM, especially, I try to be fairly exact about, e.g., laughter.

That didn't help much in the two hours or so between when my daughter chaoswolf left for Seattle, and when I went to bed. I guess I figured it wouldn't affect me much, because Colleen's been upset on and off for months about it and I haven't. I was wrong. I'm OK now. I wasn't thinking of it as a major life change, but I guess it was. There's probably even a little grief involved, as well as the more obvious worry, happiness, and pride.

Colleen is making slow but steady progress: she stood up 8 times with only minimal assistance, using a walker rather than the parallel bars, and can stay up for 40 seconds at a time. As she said, once she can walk the length of the hallway she'll be unstoppable.

I still haven't worked on the taxes much.