River: end of an era
2009-04-29 10:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Colleen is coming home Friday!
I should be excited and happy. Instead, I'm worried, depressed, a few things I can't identify, and totally unmotivated. We're having the bedroom steam-cleaned tomorrow afternoon, and a pair of hospital beds installed tomorrow evening. I'm still not entirely packed, and the bed is still assembled.
I understand some of it. I have no idea how much care Colleen is going to need. I'm stressed because I'm almost certainly not going to be able to go to work tomorrow morning -- I'll need to clean and vacuum the bedroom floors. And so on.
Also, we've had that bed for around a quarter-century, if I remember
correctly. I built it myself. Colleen grieved over chaoswolf
leaving the house -- I appear to be grieving our old bed. The YD just
took the mattress up to her room. I'll be sleeping on an air mattress
tonight. Our lives have changed, over the last few months; I have no idea
what the new "normal" will be like -- it's change, and unknown, and it
scares me.
Whatever the reason, I have a great deal to do by tomorrow noon, and I'm not doing it. Instead, I'm sitting here wingeing into my posting client.
Not a happy bear.