Done yesterday (20090429)

[mdlbear]

0429 We 
  * up 6:00; W=190.8; drugs, nose, teeth; coffee, C
  & visit to Colleen
    ! both calm, loving, optimistic
  & spent the morning talking with Jen
  & visit to Colleen with Jen on the way to the airport.
    Walked 2x50', multiple sit-stands.
    Confirmed Friday discharge
    ! cheerful.  Jen ready to go home but not ready to leave.
  * jenkitty: Wed, April 29:  SJC-SEA 1:35-3:45
  * afternoon: Mud and Albert will be over to work on back yard
  * Apria called to confirm bed, wheelchair delivery
    ! scared.  I don't know how much care she'll need, or how well she'll cope
      with being at home but unable to do most of what she used to do. 
  & Apria doesn't take AX so arranged for second bed while correcting
    It's an extra $70/month, but worth it bptj to make sure the arrangement
    works for us, and to let us sleep together while finding out.
  & Visit to Colleen.  Saw her incision: it's healed. 
  & bank
  * continue packing bedroom.  We've had that bed for about 25 years.
    ! weird mix of feelings; mainly scared.
  * 18:46 Wednesday:  where is everybody?
  & 19:00 Call from Colleen.
    ! how did she know I needed cheering up?
  & 20:22 still very lightly populated, still working on the bedroom
    ! still anxious/tense; still massively unmotivated
  ! 22:10 noticably depressed
  & 22:33 post identifies a large component of the mood mix as grief
  * showed Jilara where Kat's stuff is.
  * what the Wolf needs shipped up:   Kitchenware boxes (anything with the
    word kitchenware written on them), obvious cooking gear (bakeware sets,
    anodized cookware), spice boxes, wolf bedding (off of my bed), wolf
    bath-mat (probably at the back of the pile, a cylindrical shape) 
      Microwave, coffee grinder, coffee pots, etc would also help. I'm
    noticing a distinct lack of said. 
      For the pile of stuff to be shipped up sooner rather than later, please
    also include any appliances you find. 
  ! 23:22 now that people are gone and I've moved into the sewing room for the
    night my mood is calmer.  May have been mostly the crowd.
  * bed (sewing room) somewhere ~23:30; woke once for bathroom, another quilt

I've already mentioned the anxiety and depression -- no doubt a combination of the usual Wednesday crowd of people (not too many tonight, but conversations I mostly had no interest in), apprehension over Colleen's possible ongoing health and care issues (mostly misplaced; she seems to be doing pretty well), and grieving over the packing of the bedroom and disassembly of the bed.

I'm much calmer today, even though it's unlikely I'll make it to the lunchtime meeting at work.