River: "Should" vs. "Ought To"

[mdlbear]

Standards documents generally make a big distinction between "should" and "shall" -- the first is a recommendation, the second is a requirement. It seems that I make a similar distinction.

When I use "should" or "shouldn't", as I did last night, it seems to be just a reference to an ideal or preferred state of things, without necessarily blaming myself for the present state. Essentially what judifilksign said in this comment.

All of your "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" are reasonable - if you take away the self-blame that comes along with them, and make them things to keep in mind about yourself.

If I'm being consistent, I'll use something like "ought to" to mark something that I will feel guilty about not doing or not being. I'm not always consistent, of course.

So, for example, "I shouldn't need so much sleep" is a parallel construction to "the car shouldn't be making that clunking noise" -- it implies that something is broken. "I ought to go to bed now" is more like "I ought to get the car looked at tomorrow", implying that something bad will happen if I don't.

Comments

[septemberlilac.livejournal.com]

As long as it's "the car shouldn't be making that clunking noise" and not "I shouldn't be making that clunking noise" :-)

[mdlbear]

Clunk... Clunk... :)

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

Oddly, I place the nuances exactly the opposite way - to me, "should" is more imperative than "ought to". "Should" means "something that has unpleasant consequences if I don't do it", while "ought to" means "something I'll feel guilty about not doing". I think this is a matter of personal style, though.

[mdlbear]

We clearly have closely-related definitions for "ought to"; it may just be that I associate the guilt with the imperative.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

I ought to keep a cleaner house (but I don't - I just feel vaguely guilty about it). I should pay the gas bill before the end of the month (or they'll shut off the gas).