Done yesterday (20090804)

[mdlbear]

0804 Tu
  * awake 6ish, snuggle
  * up 6:30ish; W=195; drugs, nose; coffee
  * remember to put CRC key fob back on belt loop.
  ~ 11a Colleen: PT (marty)
  & signed up with Carebridge (myliferesource.com), $employer's EAP provider
  * $100 to HSX for services
  * bills (AX Gold)
  & Colleen had PT appointment.  Stood for 5 minutes unsupported.
    Also walked 100' with the walker, but we knew she could do that.
  & Colleen took tub bath and got her hair dyed.
  & work: $demo working completely.
  & The YD wants her BF to move in; not until she's out of high school
  x 0804 post
  * 10:30 bath; bed 11:00

Yesterday was a very good day for Colleen; she had a PT appointment where she stood for 5 minutes twiddling her thumbs (i.e., without holding on to anything), and walked 100' with the walker. The therapist said she's doing well, and that the incontinence will eventually go away as well. Basically she's relearning things she learned as a toddler, and is now well into the holding-on-to-furniture stage.

It was good for me, too -- I had a two-hour debugging session with M, a demo of the fully-working system to $grandboss, and a teleconference to Japan that turned up a couple more problems but probably nothing really major. It's harder when you can't actually touch the machines on the other end.

Much wailing and gnashing of teeth on the part of the Younger Daughter, who wants her BF to move in with us. We told her "no way until you're out of high school". I expect the next few months to be pretty bad.

About the only thing I didn't manage to do was my traditional August 4th post about Amethyst Rose; I'll probably do that today or tomorrow. I was thinking about her, though.

Comments

[phoenixpdx.livejournal.com]

oh (startled realization exclamation) That's YOU. Wow. I read them every year on alt.callahans for such a long time, but I've dropped out of ac some time ago. Too much chaff, not enough grain.

Sympathies on the anniversary, once again.

[mdlbear]

Thanks. I've just about dropped out too -- the 8/4 posts are the only ones I've made in a couple of years. The more recent ones are on LJ, and there's an archive that you can find most easily via Google.

younger daughter

[tetralizard.livejournal.com]

"Much wailing and gnashing of teeth on the part of the Younger Daughter, who wants her BF to move in with us. We told her "no way until you're out of high school". I expect the next few months to be pretty bad."

She doesn't know how lucky she has it. While I was growing up, I was never allowed to have male visitors behind closed doors. Even with open doors, I was harassed saying we shouldn't be laying side by side while we were watching a movie or something.

There is enough going on at the house as it is. With Colleen getting better, that takes a lot of work, as well as Steve working fulltime and trying to be a fulltime caretaker - that's enough stress. There is also the stress of worry of Chaos - who yes may be out of the house, but there is still worry if she is doing ok and making it on her own.

YD's focus should be to complete school, and still be a child/teeneybopper. To add more stress of a boyfriend of hers to move in would be more stress in the house.

Will he add to the help/care of Colleen or detract?
Will he add to the household expenses or detract?
What happens if the kids end up in a fight - where is he supposed to go?

Once she is 18 and has graduated high school and support herself (or bf support her), then maybe she can move in with her bf.

Re: younger daughter

[harmonyheifer.livejournal.com]

Word to everything tetralizard just said. If I had made a suggestion like that to my parents at that age I wouldn't have survived to graduate high school, much less have the ability to engage in "wailing and gnashing of teeth." With Eli it was slamming doors. She was a big door slammer :)

As a former single mother who has a now 25 year old daughter, I am well aware that every child is unique, and every situation must be judged accordingly, but YD doesn't seem to have shown enough responsibility to be permitted a grown-up reward like a live-in boyfriend. The absolute last thing you and Colleen need right now is yet another dependent child, and unless the boyfriend is light years more mature than YD, that is what you would be letting yourself in for.

If I were you and Colleen, I would let YD know that tantrums are further proof she isn't mature enough to handle what she is demanding. No way should she be punishing you and Colleen for months over this. Instead of making your life miserable because you won't give in to her, she ought to be doing a bit more to pull her weight in what is essentially a household in crisis. Does YD even read your LJ? It occurs to me that she still hasn't grasped how much Colleen's medical condition has disrupted all your lives. She is thinking only of herself, and that isn't mature or responsible in any way at all.

Siblings being what they are, she may be rushing the boyfriend situation to compete or catch-up with the married wolfling. I bet she views being in a relationship through teen-aged rose-colored glasses and has no concept of the reality and work involved in cohabitation. If she has been reading her sister's LJ posts she should know that, but childishly she wants you and Colleen to support her while she pretends to be independent. Independence, as her sister could tell her if she would listen, is more work than YD is ready for, judging by her behavior.

If Eli had pulled crap like that with me at that age, I would have told her the very same thing you told YD. Holy Cow, Steve, you don't need to channel Ralph Cramden and and do a "King of the Castle" monologue, but as her father, you have the right to expect reasonable and respectful behavior out of your children while they are living in your home. She isn't acting like a woman, she is acting like a child. That should be pointed out to her every single time she cops an attitude. Maybe you can shame her into acting like the adult she thinks she is. It's worth a try.

OMG!

*hug*

Re: younger daughter

[mdlbear]

*laughs* Thanks.

She does seem to have calmed down over the last couple of days; we'll see how long that lasts.

*hug*