Done yesterday (20090924)

[mdlbear]

0924 Th
  * up 6:50; W=196.8; drugs, nose; coffee
  & The nice thing about foggy mornings in fall is not having the sun in my
    eyes as I back out of the driveway.  ! pleased, calm
  * empty dishwasher, make breakfast (fried eggs on rice)
  @ http://www.problogger.net/archives/2009/09/16/thirteen-steps-to-write-and-publish-a-free-ebook-in-thirteen-hours/
    from http://ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com/796384.html
  & verify that the next party date is posted on Starport.org and s.s.net
  * post Done Yesterday
  @ http://www.cabel.name/2009/09/windows-7-party.html
    from http://dsmoen.livejournal.com/263382.html , also seen on:
    http://www.engadget.com/2009/09/24/video-windows-7-launch-party-parody-is-bleeping-genius/
  * post Thankful Thursday
  * walk: ~1 hour; 10min meditation.  Several slowdowns
    called C; no answer
    | skipping even a day leaves me noticably out of shape
    ! dysthymia
    ! (fortune telling) N hasn't contacted me since Tues am
      -> what will happen will happen
    ! dwelling on the past (weekend, 200803)
      -> what happened, happened
    ! b/w thinking, blaming: "my life is a shambles"
    ! (personalization/labeling) "I was an idiot" -> "I did something stupid"
      -> I made a mistake because of a blind spot in my understanding
    ! (fact?) walks don't seem to be as enjoyable lately
      -> (overgeneralization) I'll be left with nothing I enjoy doing.
  & Phone to C; phone/IM to N.
  *- EMDR for Colleen? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EMDR
  @ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder
    The cause of AvPD is not clearly defined, and may be influenced by a
      combination of social, genetic, and psychological factors. The disorder
      may be related to temperamental factors that are
      inherited. Specifically, various anxiety disorders in childhood and
      adolescence have been associated with a temperament characterized by
      behavioral inhibition, including features of being shy, fearful, and
      withdrawn in new situations.
    Many people diagnosed with AvPD have had painful early experiences of
      chronic parental and/or societal criticism or rejection. The need to
      bond with the rejecting parents / peers makes the person with AvPD
      hungry for relationships, but their longing gradually develops into a
      defensive shell of self-protection against repeated criticisms.
    related to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety
  @ http://matsysdesign.com/2009/06/25/sietch-nevada/
    via http://bldgblog.blogspot.com/2009/09/hexagonal-hydropolis.html and
    http://gizmodo.com/5366227/how-the-world-might-look-if-we-run-out-of-water
  & Nice call from Callie
  * Walgreen's: buy briefs, C batteries
  * Date night: dinner at Red Lobster (with YD)
  * very sleepy; bed ~10:30

I probably spent too much time yesterday chasing links, and not enough writing code. Some interesting stuff, though, which I'll write about later on the River. Meanwhile, I'm wondering whether what I have is more accurately described as AvPD rather than social anxiety. Or perhaps I'm a "highly sensitive person? That would be bizarre, but it's sort-of consistent with the observations.

A walk at lunchtime, with a little meditation; not really as enjoyable as walks used to be. I spent some time identifying negative thoughts and their corresponding cognitive distortions. I'm not usually that aware of them, so that's going to be difficult. (We will blythly ignore the temptation to identify the same cognitive distortions behind positive thoughts.)

Nice call from Callie in the evening, and "date night" dinner at Red Lobster with the YD along. Endless shrimp. Yum.

I was sleepy all afternoon and evening, as I have been most of the week; I crashed hard around 10:30.