Done yesterday (20091008)

[mdlbear]

1008 Th
  * up 6:35; W=197; drugs, nose, teeth; coffee, dishes
  * exchange 2 pkgs diapers (fitted briefs) for panties (underwear)
    self-talk:  told myself "this probably happens all the time"
    worked just fine, of course; nobody even blinked.
    " mgr: Do you know which aisle...  me: All too well.
    ! anxious before; calming down afterwards
  ! add shopping, driving (sometimes!) to list of enjoyable activities.
    also walking and music (during or after depending on whether or not I'm in
    a flow state.)
  =* add to positive thoughts:  something about taking small pleasures where I
     find them.  
  * buy (Korg) clip-on tuner for Plink; gave mine to Kat
  | no walk, though a fair amount in Fry's and Gryphon
  * productive afternoon at work
  * pidgin.org has a repo with a backport for Dell (broken, though)
  * date night, with Marty at El Torrito

No walkies, but a reasonably productive day anyway. Especially in the self-knowledge department: I can now add shopping and driving to my list of things I enjoy -- at least sometimes. Also walking and music, although in the latter case the enjoyment may come afterwards, once I get out of a flow state.

I'm gradually learning to recognize and enjoy small pleasures whenever I run across them. The biggest one was buying a new Korg clip-on tuner for Plink, since I'd given my old tuner to Chaos. Very featureful; I'm going to like it. Spent a fair amount of time in Fry's looking for a netbook bag and not finding one.

I also feel somewhat accomplished for exchanging a mistaken purchase back to Walgreen's. I'd been rather anxious about it for no good reason. A good opportunity to practice identifying and correcting negative self-talk -- I'm getting better at that, and I can tell that it's working.

For our "date night" Colleen and I took Marty out to El Torrito for some good Mexican. We got fantastic service: good-humored and attentive. We both figured it was only fair to take Marty out, since we'd taken my sister-of-choice out on a date night a couple of weeks ago.

... and I shouldn't forget the contented snuggles, either. Yeah; a good day.

Comments

[septemberlilac.livejournal.com]

Just an observation: Judging by your posts since late September, there appears to have been a recent shift, with your good days currently outnumbering the not-good days. That could be a fluke, of course - what's significant is that when you have a not-good day, it hasn't been triggering a tailspin. You bounce back from it more quickly and you seem much more able to identify causes, effects, and, most importantly, the difference between the two. Which isn't to say that you won't have bad patches, but it looks like you're making consistent and very real progress.

[mdlbear]

Thanks. It seems to be a combination of several trends: increased resilience (probably mainly due to the antidepressant), better self-knowledge, and a very recent willingness to notice and enjoy small pleasures when I run across them.