River: Loneliness

[mdlbear]

ysabetwordsmith has a good post titled Loneliness and Fraying Social Fabric, that's a followup to haikujaguar's recent post on loneliness and how it spreads. Lots of good stuff there, and even more in the comments.

She makes some good suggestions. "Restore our support of people who are doing the hard work of sustaining others."... "Practice and teach social skills." "Build the biggest, strongest social network that you can." But they're suggestions for someone like her who knows how to give support, teach social skills, build a social network, and use it effectively.

Trouble is, I'm on both sides of that social chasm. I'm one of those lonely people who never learned many of the social skills they needed -- not because my family was "subfunctional", but more because I've always found it easier to pull back from situations where I had no idea what I was doing. Since we started hanging out together, I've always let Colleen build and maintain the social network -- she has the skills for it.

And now, suddenly, I've been thrown into situations where I'm the one trying to give support, both physical support to Colleen, and emotional support to her and several of my other friends. While groping my way in the dark, having no idea what I'm doing, no idea what support if any is available. I'm learning, but it's slow. Please bear with me. Or something like that.

Comments

[judifilksign.livejournal.com]

You've been treading in deep waters for certain.

Yet, you *do* reach out, however awkward it feels, and you *do* provide mutual support for your close friends, too.

Keep taking time for you, like with your walks, your music and yes, conventions, too, to "fill the bucket" of cope again with spoonfuls, even if it seems that gallons are being poured out at the same time.

[mdlbear]

Deep waters indeed. Thanks.