Done yesterday (20100205 Fr)

[mdlbear]

0205 Fr
  % BPH again.  awake at 3:30am.
    & message to Awsare about increasing doxazosin dose
  @ Less Snark, More Content 
  * up 7:45; W=203.4; drugs, nose, teeth; breakfast, laundry
  % Dad died 11 years ago today.
  * 10am presentation at work
    lots of work ahead, but it'll be very good.
  @ You Can't Get Rid Of Anonymity Online, Even If You Wanted To
    Schneier on Security: Anonymity and the Internet
      Mandating universal identity and attribution is the wrong goal. Accept
      that there will always be anonymous speech on the Internet. Accept that
      you'll never truly know where a packet came from. Work on the problems
      you can solve: software that's secure in the face of whatever packet it
      receives, identification systems that are secure enough in the face of
      the risks. We can do far better at these things than we're doing, and
      they'll do more to improve security than trying to fix insoluble
      problems. 
  @ Wal-Mart, Target Trying To Block Redbox From Purchasing DVDs?
  * walk: 5x around pond
    % hurting mainly in the left shin and upper ankle; some on the bottom of
      the left foot.  The last lap around the pond may have been excessive.
  -> Places to get good seafood:  Ranch 99 (Wolfe & Homestead)
     Marina (DeAnza & 280) (from Manoj)
  *- @IT-guy Just because it has the same manufacturer doesn't make it 
     THE SAME as the motherboard you installed Linux on last week.
  ! I have trouble saying "no, I'm too busy", don't I?
  % call from Colleen re: meds, YD wants to know how to do taxes
    ! I am very close to the edge of not coping right now
      I feel almost paralyzed, and can't deal well with new tasks.
      depression?  Oh.  Date have anything to do with it?  Probably.
  * order Colleen's potassium, Imuran,  x lomotil
    buy Colleen's humira, loperamide, bismuth subsalicylate
  & laundry, dishes, dinner.
    steak sauteed with onions, kasha, cauliflower with drawn butter.
  * thankful Thursday:
    The Hartmann bag
    Interesting times at work
    a con with fewer mishaps than expected
    love
    a friend who gives me honest criticism when I need it
  * posted about Dad, the Hartmann bag
  * doubled doxazosin dose per Awsare's reply
  * bath; bed 11:30ish; snuggle; S=9919

Not exactly a good day -- the month from mid-January to mid-February is a bad one for anniversaries, and even without being consciously aware of the exact day(s), it affects me.

Ended up playing Towers of Hanoi in the evening: do the dishes so I can make dinner, do the laundry so I can get to bed later... I seem to be pretty close to the edge of not coping recently, either melting down from overload when an unexpected new task comes along, or feeling paralyzed and unable to do anything. The date, again, probably has something to do with it. Depression is insidious; the fact that I noticed it at all is, I suppose, a sign of improvement.

I have trouble saying "no, I'm too busy right now", don't I?