Writer's Block: Love is timeless

[mdlbear]

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Since I'm 5 years older than my wife (whom I met more than 40 years ago when she was 17), I'm hardly in a position to complain. Several of my dearest friends are decades younger than me, and if one of those friendships were to take a romantic turn I wouldn't hesitate for a heartbeat.

Comments

[bercilakslady.livejournal.com]

It depends on the people involved. My father and stepmom are friends with a couple with a significant age difference. One partner is my age, and one is my father's age. They just got married, and there's nothing remotely creepy about the relationship. I also know people who have a smaller (15 year) age difference, and I think that's extraordinarily creepy, given the people involved, and what I see of their relationship.

I dated Paul, who is 12 years older than I am. Many things were wrong with that relationship, but the age difference was not one of them.

So basically, it depends. :)

[catsittingstill.livejournal.com]

I don't think chronological age is all that important.

If there's a big difference in emotional maturity between partners, that can lead to problems. Or if there is a disparity in social power, then you start to wonder about coercion and favoritism and all kinds of places you don't want such a relationship to go, though.

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

I think there is something deeply wrong with somebody who is basically an adult (at least chronologically) dating someone who is basically a teenager, most of the time. Occasionally it can work because you have an exceptionally mature teenager (which seems to have been the case with you and your wife, although I also note that you stayed platonic for some time in that case), but more often, if such relationships happen, it's because you've got an especially immature grownup, who is chasing much younger people because they don't feel as threatening to them. And an exceptionally immature grownup is not a good romantic partner for anyone, of any age.

So long as both parties are basically adults, both chronologically and emotionally, I don't think it matters where on the spectrum of "adult" they fall. I've mostly happened to date within 10 years of my own age, but that's happenstance, and the ones who were younger than me did not seem to average less mature than the ones who were older than me (or vice versa; it was simply uncorrelated). Nor did it appear to make any difference in how well the relationship went.