Done the last two days (20110621 Tu - 0622 We)

[mdlbear]

0621 Tu
  * up 6:30; W=196.6; drugs, nose, teeth, light
  @ gluten free flatbread recipe | Wrightfood @jules_stonesoup 
    3.3oz oat flour
    3.3oz brown rice flour
    3.3oz white rice flour
    1tsp sea salt
    3/4 packet of active dry yeast
    1 tablespoon golden flaxseed, finely ground
    6fl oz warm water (about 120F)
  * order: humira -> pick up tomorrow @ discharge pharm.
  * sync Barnard for offline operation
  * bring box of tissue paper to work (still in car)
  * skip breakfast, get labs done 8:30ish, go to Menlo
  * lunch and a nice brussels-sprout salad at the deli
  * right shoulder fairly sore; Minnie is heavy when loaded with Barnard and
    the charger as well as everything else.
  * 6pm Avoid Avoiding
  * confirm herbfarm reservation (Thursday 0922) 
  * bed sometime after midnight.  Wish I didn't need as much sleep

0622 We
  * up 7:05; W=196, M=OK; drugs, nose, teeth, dishes, coffee, light
    ! mood=OK  % not much shoulder pain
  @ The Ferrett's Journal - Harnessing NRE
  * 8:30 Dr. Reed
    -> she suggests more regular exercise (at the brisk walk level)
    ! mood=good after appointment.
  * 3+ mile walk by the airport.
    % no hip problems since switching from Mephisto to Superfeet insoles.
      now they squeak again, but it's pretty clear that the old insoles are
      bad for me, so I'll have to address the squeak directly.
  * pick up humira at Santa Clara discharge pharmacy on way home from work
  @ commodorified | I more than once lost my heart to clean linen, when I was
    a young creature...  (how to keep your shirts clean)
  @ All Work and No Pay: The Great Speedup | Mother Jones (catsittingstill) 
  @ Intercontinental Ballistic App Store - Cringely on technology
  @ Video for teens from authors & illustrators: It Gets Better 
    For most it probably does.  For people with clinical depression or social
    phobia, maybe not so much.
  * try connecting to nova-w:691 -> well, from barnard to nova-w I get an
    error 400, but it works to the IP address.  Weird.
  ~ use ss.songs, tgl.songs to locate SONGDIR and configure website links
    note that we don't get timing for .songs files, though
  % I only realized recently that my canned response of "working on it!" was
    shorthand for "I'm  busy working on something urgent, possibly a task
    you've already asked me to work on, and I simply don't have the mental
    bandwidth to handle somebody talking to me right now." 
      There are several things I say to deflect conversation (no matter how
    helpful it might turn out to be) when I'm too busy to pay attention.  I
    haven't identified them all yet.
  * progress on Westercon setlist.  40-odd minutes so far
  & cyclobenzaprine; bed ~11:15

Not a bad couple of days; my mood seems to be improving slightly, and is now somewhere between ok and good. Still feels a little down relative to two or three weeks ago. Dr. Reed says that regular exercise is the equivalent of a low-dose antidepressant. We'll see; I did get in a full 3+ mile walk yesterday.

I only realized recently that my canned response of "working on it!" was shorthand for something like "I'm busy working on something urgent, possibly a task you've already asked me to work on, and I simply don't have the mental bandwidth to handle somebody talking to me right now."

There seem to be several things I say to deflect conversation (no matter how helpful it might turn out to be) when I'm too busy to pay attention. I haven't identified them all yet, much less unpacked them, but suspect that it would be a useful exercise.

I spent most of Monday up at the lab in Menlo Park catching up with people. Got my labwork done at Kaiser Santa Clara, which is roughly halfway there from home. Tuesday is the one day I don't have a meeting.

Monday evening I put in for reservations at the Herb Farm; they were confirmed for Thursday, September 22. Tuesday I started working on my set list for Westercon (complicated somewhat by not knowing how long my slot will be).

Up in the notes you will find not only links, but a recipe for gluten-free flatbread. There's a video for teens from authors & illustrators: It Gets Better -- I like the sentiment, though I'm not sure I'd have thought that it applied to me, way back then.

Comments

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

"It Gets Better - For most it probably does. For people with clinical depression or social phobia, maybe not so much."

Even for those, it does get better. Unlike teenagers, adults will not stuff you in your locker, throw your books down the stairs, gang up on you and pummel you, steal your lunch and throw it away, gather around you and chant insulting nicknames, give you a swirlie, yank your skirt up or your pants down in public, tell outrageous lies about your supposed misbehavior that those in authority somehow believe, destroy your homework before you can hand it in, grab your glasses and run away with them, or throw lit firecrackers at you.

[mdlbear]

Point. I never got physically bullied, just verbally.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

Adults rarely engage in verbal bullying either, unless they're politicians...

[mdlbear]

True. But the main problem wasn't so much the bullying as the way that and the associated rejection made me isolate myself to the point where it didn't make a difference whether I was being rejected or not.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

And that's an extremely good reason to tell young people that it doesn't stay that way forever - things really do get better - and to teach them to be able to interact with people who behave like reasonable adults. (Yeah, where was all of this fifty years ago, right?)

[mdlbear]

Exactly. But nobody seems to be teaching kids how to interact with people, and it's hard when all you want to do is run away from them, hide in a corner, and read.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

I think a child like we were has to grow up with at least one or two fellow weirdos around, whether they're other kids, or that aunt the rest of the relatives disapprove of, or a teacher whose spirit somehow hasn't gotten ground flat by the bureaucracy.

[judifilksign.livejournal.com]

I have noted that my mood is better when I exercise on a regular basis. I had thought it due to being proud of myself for biking so much with Sparkle, and swimming so much with [Unknown site tag] . Perhaps it is just as simple as feeling better when I exercise!

Hoping that regular walks help keep your mood elevator off the snarky floor and onto "more than okay."

[mdlbear]

Thanks!

Actually, the floor is not so much snarky as gloomy and dank, but...