Done yesterday (20111123 We)

[mdlbear]

Probably not such a good day, on the whole. My new netbook, Cygnus, arrived, which pretty much blew the afternoon. It took four or five reboots to get through all the Windows upgrades. When I got home I installed Ubuntu 11.04, which went smooth as glass up until the end. It took an additional two installs to figure out that (1) you have to be careful about how you install grub and (2) the proprietary video driver is buggy.

The fan stays on all the time, which is annoying, but it's not really noticable from a normal working distance. At least to me, but I already know my hearing is deteriorating. And Windows 7 may be the best one so far, but it's still Windows, and I still hate click-to-type. On the plus side, it's a dream to type on compared to the Dell, and all the hardware Just Works in Ubuntu.

I had a serious adrenaline spike about 25 minutes after reading pocketnaomi's post about what happened Monday night. It's often difficult for me to figure out what causes a spike like that; this seemed pretty straightforward. Although, from the timing, it could have been excitement at Cygnus's arrival.

I made an appointment to see my doctor about the neuropathy.

Some good links in the notes, and one bad one -- don't click over to Naomi's post unless you can handle a detailed description of domestic violence. Sorry about that.

I really want to shake cflute and ask "What in hell are you and what have you done with my friend?"

1123 We
  * up 7am; W=194.6; drugs, nose, exercise
  : pocketnaomi: What happened - trigger warning.  Domestic violence.
  * (thinkpad T120e) Cygnus arrived!  Shiny!
    It fits in Minnie, though only just.
  | serious adrenaline spike.  About 25 min after N's post, if that's what
    triggered it.
  * Cygnus having trouble getting an address from DHCP.  And I have no idea
    how to find out its MAC address -> ipconfig /all -> d0:df:9a:46:4d
    local DHCP is hosed; set up an ad-hoc on my desktop Mac Mini.
    * firefox  * putty  * chrome  * audacity 1.3.13  * lame, LADSPA plugins
    * pidgin  * libreoffice  * M$ and Lenovo upgrades
      upgrades took three reboots to finish.  Make that 4.  or 5; I lost track
      somewhere in there.
    : fan noticable close-up, i.e. a couple of inches.  It's a joy to type on.
      two-finger scrolling seems unreliable.  The single-desktop UI of W$7 is
      annoying.  It's better, but still Windows.
  * make appointment with Awsare about neuropathy
  * short walk, just to the edge of DeAnza.  Triggered neuropathy in R. foot. 
    % The scrim seemed to be back, but maybe it was just the weather.  Maybe.
  * pick up a pie crust or two on the way home.
  * Ubuntu 11.04 booted up with no problems.  Editing the partitions.
    Getting it to actually work is taking multiple installs, each one learning
    what NOT to do.  Like let it use the proprietary video driver.
  @ solarbird | three notes (politics)
  @ filk: SFContario Video Song by Janis Ian
    Janis Ian - Lyrics: Welcome Home Deconstructed
  @ The Wordsmith's Forge - Moment of Silence: Anne McCaffrey
    osewalrus: The Ship Who Sang Will Sing No More
  & IM with Deborah.  She called C.; not encouraging.  Not at all.
  % I want to shake her and say "What in Hell are you and what have you done
    with my friend Callie?"

Comments

[tibicina.livejournal.com]

I kind of want to call Callie and I'm kind of scared about what I'd hear from her. And yeah, I'm with you on wanting to go 'Who are you and what have you done with my friend?'

I am worried about her, though. And about what could be going on with her to have this happen.

[mdlbear]

I'm extremely worried. Yes, by all means call. The more of her friends tell her that she needs psychiatric help, the more likely it is that she'll believe one of them. Or at least believe it when we tell her what she did.

Violence

[markiv1111.livejournal.com]

I am commenting to you rather than Naomi, not just because you are more my friend than she is, but because she already has over 100 comments. I am appalled/angered/outraged. Cflute and I have had
some positive interactions; I was thinking that somebody, if I were to
go back and visit my mother on Vashon Island (one ferry ride from Seattle), I could come back into Seattle and jam with Cflute (and,
just for instance, Kara Dalkey, a bassist/vocalist/novelist who lives quite near the Vashon Island ferry). This is now *off.* I don't
need somebody that violent in my life, though at 1500 miles away I am
not in the danger pocketnaomi would still be in. The whole thing is
so awful that I find myself wondering what I was thinking, that I might have wanted cflute for a friend. I am not in the pain you and
Naomi could expect to be in, but I'm still traumatized. Everybody hang in there; things almost have to get better, since it would take
some doing for them to get worse.

Nate

Re: Violence

[mdlbear]

Thanks. I've had a *lot* of positive interactions with Cflute; I don't recognize the person who spoke to me from jail on Tuesday night. She needs help.

Re: Violence

[catsittingstill.livejournal.com]

I will say, I have had a *lot* of interactions, positive, negative, and in between, with Cflute over the course of several years, and she was never violent when I knew her. A temper, yes. Violent, no.

One of the reasons this whole thing is so disturbing to me is that the physical part seems so out of character.

The whole thing *is* awful. But I don't think there was anything wrong with you, to want Cflute for a friend.

Re: Violence

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

I've lived with her for four years. She's often been explosive, and she's sometimes even said, while angry, that she was stepping back to remove the temptation to reach out and wring my neck or something like that. However violent the language, until this time it was always verbal; but I wonder if I should have taken warning from the language, now.

[roaringmouse.livejournal.com]

Sorry, Steve. I hope things turn out for the better.

[mdlbear]

Thanks. So do I, though I'm pessimistic in the short term, at least.

[themangoavenger.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry for you that one of your friends has done something terrible and that another was hurt badly.

It occurs to me that this doesn't say good things for the future of your band, although that's likely far from your mind at the moment. I'm sorry you've been hurt and lost good things in your life.

[mdlbear]

*hugs* Thanks.

Actually, the band was one of the first things we had to think of, since we have a concert scheduled at Conflikt (end of January). Fortunately, Naomi is the band's artistic director and driving force, and I'm the guitar player, so there's a chance we can pull it off as a duo.

What we'll be called at that point is up for discussion.

[chaoswolf]

You'll still be Short Tempered Glass, right? Wasn't that a duo?

[mdlbear]

Short-tempered glass has always been either Naomi and Callie or me and Callie; it was all I could do when introducing ourselves to keep from saying "I'm the short one".

Naomi and I will probably either continue as Tempered Glass, or pick another name.

[chaoswolf]

Middle sized and Middle Aged bear both refer to you, otherwise I'd suggest "Bear Necessities/Bear Essentials."

[catsittingstill.livejournal.com]

"Pocket sized bear?"

[chaoswolf]

That may work. Slight humor for a band name: "Grin and Bear it."

[catsittingstill.livejournal.com]

Sugar Bear? Honey Bear? (since Naomi means, among other things "sweet")

Or is that too saccharine?

[chaoswolf]

Hmmm....

"Honey and The Geek?"

[catsittingstill.livejournal.com]

I was trying for a play on "sweet honey in the rock" to answer, and looking up rhymes to "rock" that might have to do with bears, and came across an idea that is kind of a tangent, but intrigues me.

Honey and Hemlock?

[chaoswolf]

That sounds...deadly.

Sweet and poisonous.

[mdlbear]

Interesting. We have a few ideas of our own, actually.

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

I don't think I'm in the mood to call myself anything deadly, as things stand right now.

mdlbear and I will continue performing together, maybe as Tempered Glass, definitely not as Short-Tempered Glass, since the purpose of that was to indicate that we were "holding a place" for the missing third member. When we get back to performing as a duo, it won't be short of anyone, since there will be no third member to that band. We may decide that we are all of Tempered Glass, or we may pick a different name altogether, but whatever we call ourselves, it won't be anything that implies there's another band member who just isn't there at the moment.

[catsittingstill.livejournal.com]

Fair enough. I found the name arresting, but more in the "name for *a* band" way (like The Rogue Drones or Blackberry Wine) than in the "this would be perfect for *this* band" way.

[mdlbear]

We'll be calling ourselves Lookingglass Folk.

[catsittingstill.livejournal.com]

:-) I like it.

Filk derives from folk but is different, like the slightly distorted view in a mirror, looking more into the future where folk looks more to the past, as if folk were looking into its mirror and seeing over its shoulder.

Nice.

[catsittingstill.livejournal.com]

Yeah... the contradictions--sweet and bitter, food and poison, were what I found holding my attention.

I agree the ambiguity of it might not be appropriate for this group.

[ravan.livejournal.com]

*sigh* There is so much that I can't say, because I don't know how. The song that comes to mind is Leslie Fish's Berserker. There is no excuse, but somewhere something is very wrong. I hope pocketnaomi is well, and that the physical and emotional wounds heal.

[mdlbear]

Berserker - yes. That.

N. is well, and healing; so is C. for that matter (though IMHO she still has a lot of denial to work through). I care about both of them.

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't say I'm well, but I'm alive, and that looked damned unlikely for awhile. I'll take it.

[jilara.livejournal.com]

What worries me most in reading the account and later comments is the denial structure in place. Denial and alteration of truth. I had a few things out of bad old memories of mine come up. Lots of things going on in C's head that we're not party to, and can only hope someone can help figure their origin. As Ravan says, something is very wrong. Hugs to Naomi.