Done yesterday (20111226 Mo Babbage's birthday)

[mdlbear]

Weird day. I got up at 11:20 -- which is to say, five hours later than usual. Maybe standing up much of the day before making soup had something to do with it?

I actually spent much of the day in the living room with Colleen. And I took a 2-mile walk.

But I also read, maybe too much, about alexithymia and emotional intelligence. I suppose that might have been part of my mood crash in the evening. That and beating myself up over not having gotten good stocking stuffers for the kids. And I'm too used to letting Colleen do all the holiday shopping. And, and, and... I was in pretty sorry shape when I finally crawled in to bed.

But it was a bed with Colleen in it waiting for me. So that was good.

There are links in the notes. DuckDuckGo is an interesting new search engine.

1226 Mo Babbage's birthday
  * up 11:20(!); W=195.4; drugs, nose, laundry, dishes
    Must have been a lot more tired than I thought, from making the soup.
    Standing up for most of the day?  Yeah, that.
  * holiday
  " (12/26/11 14:09:51) ***mdlbear is back in the living room with Colleen.
    Chaos is up in San Francisco with friends, coming back sometime tomorrow
    afternoon, and Emmy is still asleep.  Looks like a quiet day ahead.
    Considering that I slept until 11:20 this morning, I could probably use
    one. 
  @ DuckDuckGo search engine.  federated search, no ads. (LWN)
  @ GNUnet | GNU's Framework for Secure Peer-to-Peer Networking (LWN)
  @ Puppy Has A Litter
  @ Alexithymia (via DDG)
    " If a patient has no story to tell a clinician, even at a time when
      emotions are stirred high enough to prompt an ER visit, it seems a good
      bet that person has no story to tell themselves either. Having no story
      almost certainly implies an impaired identity: Who we know ourselves to
      be depends heavily on the story we tell ourselves about who we are. The
      inability to express emotions verbally implies a deficient interior
      life. Inevitably, those who cannot match words to feelings will live out
      that deficit in their contacts with others as well. To have no words for
      one's inner experience is to live marginally, for oneself and for
      others. 
  @ Emotional Intelligence appears to be worth exploring
    " This site is a place where you can find useful, practical and important
      information about emotions and life. It contains information about
      emotional intelligence, some tools and resources, and some new ideas.  
  * walk: ~2mi; Los Gatos Creek
  & buy: pantsu, AAA's
  | tired, hungry.  More so than I would have expected after only 2mi.
  @ Yo Amazon: Please don’t hijack the web on Kindle Fire
  * 15min: clearing out the tub.  Laundry.
  * rebooted algol (desktop).  Using iceweasel in preference to chrome,
    because it doesn't complain that my flash plugin is out of date.
  % I seem to be "comfort eating" at this point, and don't know why.
  % Oh, crap!  The trash didn't get taken out last night.  It's the YD's job,
    but I usually have to remind her.  I forgot, too.
  ! right now I just sort of feel like crawling into a hole and curling up in
    a ball.  Not depressed, I don't think, and it doesn't feel quite like
    overload.  But _something_ seems to be more than I can handle, even if I
    have no idea what it is.

Comments

[firecat]

I've been using Duck Duck Go as my preferred search engine for a while. They do have ads of a sort, but very unobtrusive, and clearly labeled as such.

I'm even trying to retain myself to say that I'm going to "quack for" a search term rather than google it.

[technoshaman.livejournal.com]

smlmendedcorner wonders if you're grounding/shielding enough. If you're empathic and getting hit with overload.... you could have trouble telling yourself from all the NOISE that's around you.

[mdlbear]

Not sure shielding is applicable (no psychic abilities that I know of, and with empathy my problem has usually been too much shielding, not too little); grounding is certainly in order, though.

[mdlbear]

... maybe grounding helped. Hard for me to tell.

[ravan.livejournal.com]

You might try centering and then grounding. Sometimes it gets easier to tell what is you and what isn't when you have recovered your center.

Also, as an introvert, I find that judicious shielding can filter out noise, letting more signal be detected.