Done this week (20150111 Su - 17 Sa)

[mdlbear]

It's been a week of not liking myself much. In part this is due to working on a self-assessment and peer feedback at work; this is not conducive to a good mood.

Friday was pretty good -- I had my first 1-on-1 since my boss got back from a month's vacation, and he was at least not discouraging. And when I stopped by my desk (I'm on loan to another group for a few months; this was my first week there) to pick up the power brick for my new laptop, I discovered that there was a party going on. Gin, hard cider, and an interesting new person went a long way toward improving my mood.

(Saturday was, of course, back to depressingly normal, and today's been discouraging. Especially since it included waking up at 3am. Does that count for Saturday? I'm going to say "Yes": the day doesn't start until I've had coffee.)

As I mentioned, I'm on loan to another group for a while. Same building I was in before our last move; closer to the bus stop. I tried working remotely, but a Windows laptop sucks for that. The HP EliteBook they gave me in trade is less capable on an objective basis, but it's running Ubuntu, which is a major win. Plus, it's about half the weight of my old Dell, and fits in my sling bag. So... also win.

Realized Wednesday night when I found myself doing dishes that I do dishes in order to feel useful. Being useful is one of the few ways I can reliably make myself feel less bad about myself, so I'll take it. And I can usually control it, which I suppose is why I take it so hard when I try to be useful, but fail. Like this afternoon.

Oh, and the new tech from Spinlife will be out tomorrow to work on Colleen's lift chairs, scooter, and power chair. It will probably take another visit, because the tech who came out over a month ago was an idiot. Spinlife will eat the difference in cost for extra visits and mis-ordered parts, hopefully without my having to hire a lawyer to shove it down their throats.

Links in the notes.

0111 Su
  * up 6:40; W=212.2; Shower, dishes
  @ Irregular Webcomic! #3366 Je suis Charlie
  @ Size Of Chromecast And Capability Of PC - Intel's 150$ Compute Stick Is Ready To Blow
    You Away There's a $89 Linux version, but with half the RAM and 1/4 the flash.
  * Completed self-assessment for work.  Will give it another round of checking tomorrow.
  * Drive with Colleen:  up Aurora to Petco and Central Market, then back via I5 because I
    was having a sugar crash.  Chicken Tikka Masala for dinner.  Would have been earlier
    except I forgot to turn on the rice cooker until the chicken was already in the pot
    and I checked.  :P  Salad, too.
  : Fan noise from the netbook.  Turns out that when a USB hub is plugged in, it won't
    suspend.  Or rather it will, but gets immediately woken up.  Wake on USB setting in the
    BIOS?  Must check.

0112 Mo
  * up 6:25; W=214; 
  : The fan in the netbook is dying :P  Do Not Like.  Fortunately, it either isn't needed
    much, or stops making noise after it's been running for a while.
  * 08:30 expect call
  % Came home tired and snappish.  Not liking myself much.
  & Re-reading through Path of the Paladins 
  * 15min: brought up another box of artwork, and a few magazine boxes for envelopes.

0113 Tu
  * up 6:40; ;
  * On loan to the Beach team, for three months or so.  Back in Port99, with new things to
    learn and a different set of team traditions.  Fun, hopefully.
  * Tried taking the sling bag, plus a briefcase/shoulder bag for the laptop.  Better than
    the rolling backpack, but still clumsy.
  * The last part of the shipment from Spinlife came through -- with the WRONG chair
    pendant.  
 @ finished re-reading Path of the Paladins 
  @ Getting Grief Right - NYTimes.com f(France Andrews Zeve)

0114 We
  * up 6:30; W=213.8; 
  * call Spinlife to schedule technician. 
  * Turns out that the team I'm on loan to has a biweekly team lunch.  Ethiopian.
    They use the Square Cash app to settle.  Neat. 
  * Tech called.  He didn't have a prior relationship with Spinlife (they called him
    because I insisted on somebody different from the first idiot), and their notes were
    sketchy to say the least.
  ! Anxious and overwhelmed.  Also depressed, and whatever the adjective form of
    impostor syndrome is.
  % I do dishes in order to feel useful.  It's better than sitting around trying to think
    of something to do.
  % Ate something before bed because I apparently can't tell the difference between
    hungry, full, and depressed.

0115 Th
  * up 6:50; W=215
  * 9-10 expect call from tech
    -> he has to call Spinlife back because it looks like he'll be making at least two
       visits.  :P
  & WFH, and skipped the post-holiday party to work on peer feedback and a lingering code
    review.  I would probably have felt like a fish out of water at the party, but I could
    at least have had a couple of drinks.  *sigh*
  @ Zombie Cookie: The Tracking Cookie That You Can’t Kill - ProPublica (osewalrus)
  % People skills.  I wish.
  * N's birthday party
  * G and I cleared out the rest of the West (inside) wall of the garage
  : Net went out 10:30ish.  We went to bed; it was back by morning.

0116 Fr
  * up 6:40; W=214.8;
  @ The 22 Most Brilliant Life Hacks Every Human Being Needs To Know | True Activist
  * Net flaky since last night.  Related to the garage cleanout?  The phone wiring is a
    damned rat's nest.
  * Got an Ubuntu laptop at work -- working remotely via Windows and NX is a nightmare.
    It's an HP EliteBook, and a little too close to the bleeding edge for my taste: X
    doesn't seem to work right with the dock.  But it's light, and fits in Max.  Win.
  & Friday seems to be party night on the 21st floor of Port99.  Met a guy named Robert
    (easy name to remember!) in sysops; they have a jam session at 3:30 one floor down.
    % he mentioned that the most important things you need for working at $A are
      adaptability and people skills.  I said something about lacking he latter, and he
      contradicted me.  Which is fair -- there we were having a good, wide-ranging
      conversation.  I could credit that to the hard cider and gin, but... ok.

0117 Sa
  * up 9ish; W=213.0
  * 9:30ish - phone tech.  Older woman with cats.  Almost certainly the rat's nest, which
    is still a bit of a mess but has been sorted out considerably.  Not what we need, but
    it'll do for now.  She said she disconnected everything but the cable going to the
    modem.
  @ Dial is a Simple and Effective Wireless Media Controller | Hackaday 
    Bluetooth equivalent of the Griffin knob.  All open source.
  * 15min:  made a (wild) turkey icon for my Thankful Thursday posts.
  * Out for a drive.  Colleen's scooter crapped out while we were in Petco; I had to push
    it into the house.  If the transaxle is crapping out it's not clear whether it'll be
    worth fixing.  If it's just the electronics package, we *might* have it for her
    Tuesday dentist appointment.
    % Blaming myself -- no reason, except that "everything's my fault".
    % frazzled and upset.  -> Gin.  We're almost out.
  * 15min:  re-organized laptop chargers.  There are now two bins, one for iGo and Targus,
    the other for branded and other.
  @ I don't need a mouse pad, but a cat pad is almost essential -- Curio makes an
    excellent desktop accessory. (He much prefers desktop to laptop.)
  & Tried the Seagate 1.5TB USB drive for the first time in a while; works fine on cygnus
    but not on nova.  Possibly needs different drivers that aren't loaded by default.
    Might conceivably work if I booted with it attached.  Still, it's odd; flash drives
    and the dock work fine, as do the smaller usb hard drives.

Comments

[amaebi]

Well, I like you, FWIW.

May Spinlife act like service company!

[mdlbear]

Thanks!

So far they seem to be doing ok.

[amaebi]

I hope this week and you are being easier on you?

[mdlbear]

Maybe a little.

[freyjaw]

Chris & I love you and miss you.

[mdlbear]

*hugs* I miss you, too.

[tagryn]

Dishes: for me, doing and folding laundry as well. Like the dishes, its something that needs to get done on a fairly regular basis to keep the household going, doesn't require a whole lot of thinking, and its one of those "well, no matter what else is happening, at least I can do this" things, which can also be useful as a starter/catalyst to get going on certain days.

Vacuuming was another thing in this category for me until we switched to an robotic one. Fit into this category, it also makes the phenomena of compulsive vacuuming/cleaning by some a little less mysterious as just another ritual/habit.

[jcfiala.livejournal.com]

"whatever the adjective form of impostor syndrome is."

"worthless"?

Not that I think you are, mind.

And yes, the act of doing the dishes is deeply satisfying in a "I am getting things done" and "The house is now better" sort of way. Mind, I don't nearly like doing it as much when I don't have a dishwasher.

[mdlbear]

Fraudulent, perhaps. Also in over my head.