mdlbear: the positively imaginary half of a cubic mandelbrot set (Default)
[personal profile] mdlbear

So. Trumped.

I suppose I'll get through the next four years somehow. But the possibilities range from disagreeable to agonizing to desperate. N tells me I'm stronger than I think. I hope she's right.

What the hell can I say? The Joy of Tech comic... National curl up in a Ball Day kind of says most of it. I'm still not uncurled.

"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.

"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

Notes & links:

1006Su fall back.
  * up 5:11; W=208.0; laundry, dishes
  % Peroneus still hurting.  Something about the way I stand or walk?  Maybe compensating
    for hip pain?
  % tried Colleen's colorful compression socks.  Comfortable, but too slippery to wear
    without shoes or slippers.  Colleen suggested them for long drives.
  * Critters: Ticia, Desti, piggies, ..., Cricket.
  * 15min:  brought up the other bar stool from the garage.
  # Reading an exchange on f(DBSA)
    (Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance) about spirituality made me think about my
    made-up afterlife where Ame and Curio hang out.  Ame's immediate response was "Oh, you
    must!  It will be good for you, and it may help other people, too."
  # Quick notes: refers back to Callahans, the Danger Room, and the X windows; ref.  The Rainbow Bridge and how I use
    imaginative writing as therapy; text-based VR places, etc.
  * 10:20 fed Cricket and introduced her to the box on my desk.  She's still a little
    dubious about it, possibly because it smells like Ticia.
    % some nice Cricket time nevertheless.  She needs her people.
  * Music:  For Amy, Inherit the Earth, Keep the Dream Alive.  Dream is rusty as heck.
  * st/roll with Colleen to Farmers' Market; TJ on the way back.
  * Milk, eggs, marmalade, a corned beef, gin, 9v batteries, 3 jars cat litter.
    Deposited checks and some of rent money (one bill rejected, and the check misread)
    Still a few checks left that didn't appear to have been signed.  Put them into the
    household checking account.  Still a few left. :P
  * called Mom - she'd sent me some wonderful family info (about my great great
    grandfather on Dad's side) and some pictures, all from (cousin) Nancy.  Mom didn't
    answer; probably still having dinner, but I wanted to call in case she'd missed the
    standard-time transition.
  * Critters:  Desti, Cricket; piggies; Ticia after going to bed
  : in the Great Room; Cricket's been sitting in my desk box, although she also goes off
    on explores.  Right now she's sitting on my wrist while I type.  Silly kitten.
  * Music:  Riverheart, Keep the Dream Alive, (guitar for Millennium's Dawn, Wheelin',
    QV), Wings.  Dry throat -- have to keep hydrated, and take it easy.
  * Started draft for Practical Fantasy.
  % 10ish - sleepy.
  * PAY BILLS:  * Wells  * Amex  ~ Seattle (paid in Oct.)
  % fucking lift chair flaked out again.  Totally lost it.  Managed to get it going but
    freaked out multiple times.  Stress?  Is there some kind of stress-triggered insanity?
    voice change; shouting; hair-trigger temper;
    ! wtf.  I have no words for this state. -> added 1107:
    % overloaded? consumed by guilt? terrified? barely functional? furious at myself?
      all of the above, probably.

1107Mo
  * Up 4:50ish; W=208.4; dishes
  * Critters:  Ticia, Desti, piggies, Cricket.  In other news, Ticia likes cream cheese.
  % Had a bagel for breakfast.  Regretted it, because it was bigger than I needed.
  & went for a walk after lunch.
  % evening:  my right peroneus longus isn't hurting anymore, but something near my left
    hip is.  They're probably going to keep trading back and forth for months.
  * 7:30 pick up G, M, g at SEA. -> allowed an hour for traffic; didn't need it.

1108Tu US Elections
  * Up 5ish; W=208; laundry
  % Well, that was... special.  Unbalanced something and knocked a nearly-full mug of
    coffee right into my lap.  Most ended up on the floor, but still -- ouch!
    ->If that's the worst thing that happens today, I'll take it.
  ! 6:35pm scared
  ! 8:35pm terrified.  Almost certainly losing the Senate, and probably the presidency.
  : 10:35 R's won the house; Senate looks terrible, Trump is ahead.  Barring a miracle,
    we're fucked.
  : ssh -x nova make -C Private push # most other things don't work.
    verified that git -C and make -C both do the right thing with Honu/../Private.
  : Neither of our kids will be here for Thanksgiving; both have expressed an interest in
    being here for Christmas (via Colleen)
    
1109We trumped
  * up 4:40ish; ;
  : Trump, with a Republican congress.  We are absolutely fucking FUCKED.
  * emails sent to Firestone, my kids.
  @ mneme | It's not the end of the world, but I feel awful
  @ Email providers with .onion tor hidden service access : emailprivacy
  @ What to Do If You're Trans and Live in America Now | The Mary Sue
  @ West Seattle Blog… | ELECTION NIGHT 2016: What Seattle’s mayor says
  % 9:45 sleepy

1110Th
  * up 6ish; W=206.4, P=150/95; dishes, ..., laundry
  @ The Joy of Tech comic... National curl up in a Ball Day says it all
  @ Robot Hugs - Heart
  ... N and G in full flight prep mode; C' in full denial.  C researching .ie and .nz.
      #notmypresident
  @ Leonard Cohen Dead at 82 - Rolling Stone
  " me: forget about fired.  2016 is hanged, drawn, and quartered. "
  @ Someone Made A Guide For What To Do When You See Islamophobia And It’s Perfect
    tl;dr: ignore the hassler and engage the victim in conversation.
  @ The Powerful Reason Americans Are Wearing Safety Pins | GOOD f(Galia Goodman)
  @ Concrete Suggestions in Preparation for January (by demographic)
  @ Farewell, America - BillMoyers.com
  @ Petition wants Oregon, other states to secede and form their own country
  % my family is awesome.  That may not be enough.
  ! depressed.  anxious. P=176/130, 2000/149, 152/128, E3  I need to stop reading FB
  @ The Cinemax Theory of Racism – Whatever
  @ History tells us what may happen next with Brexit & Trump – Medium 

1111Fr Remembrance Day
  * up 6:15; W=206.4, P=147/82, p=64; laundry
  * 7:30a longish talk with financial advisors.
    They don't think Social Security and Medicare have anything to worry about; even if
    so, and I'm not convinced, that won't be enough.  Too many of us are targets.
  * moved my appointment with Anita to the following week, when I'm on vacation.
  % After seeing my BP results last night, I may be better off staying the hell away from
    social media.
  & changed my profile pic on FB to a paperclip.
  @ Read Elizabeth Warren's speech about working with President-elect Donald Trump

1112Sa
  * up 5:15; W=206.4, P=151/79, p=67; shower
  @ David Tennant basically recorded ASMR for cats and dogs / Boing Boing
  @ How to Download YouTube Videos | PCMag.com
  @ 5 Easy Ways to Download YouTube Videos in Ubuntu sudo apt-get install youtube-dl
  @ I'm With You #1 – Wyrding Studios f(Sunnie Larsen) safety-pin earrings
  @ Tech tips to help stay safe in Trump’s America | TechCrunch
  @ So about that call for unity, then – angelahighland.com
  : Both new hanging lamps put together, and the one over Colleen's chair hung.  No wire
    nuts, and we're short a hook and a cord, so of course not working.
  @ A Plea - ursulav verified suicide over the end of ACA
  * 3pm family summit.  M gives staying a 25% chance, and he's the optimist.  .ie
  & Chicken tikka for dinner.  Easy.  who knows where the chutney ended up, but there was
    a jar of some kind of chutney in the fridge.
  * Music: Mary Ellen Carter, QV, Ship of Stone, Millennium's Dawn, Windward.  All the
    songs we needed.  N did the vocals on Windward, because my throat was pretty raw at
    that point; I joined in on the last verse.  % When I'm on familiar ground and care
    deeply about the subject, I seem able to get a fair amount of emotion into what I'm
    singing.  And we needed those songs.
  @ You Have GOT To Be Kidding Me. (Take Action) via Kyburg
  @ Self-care in difficult times – Seeking
  % 8:30 drifty

Date: 2016-11-14 02:55 am (UTC)
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
From: [personal profile] alatefeline
I'm glad you are here. Good quote. Thank you.

Date: 2016-11-15 02:34 am (UTC)
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
From: [personal profile] alatefeline
Love to you and Colleen and your whole family.

Date: 2016-11-13 11:47 pm (UTC)
danceswithlife: (Default)
From: [personal profile] danceswithlife
I think we are all going to have to be stronger than we think we are. It's going to be very difficult to sort though the realities and the possibilities in our present media echo chamber, and make sure what resources we each have to defend against all the cruelty and danger coming up are used as thoughtfully and effectively as possible. My emotions swing wildly from day to day, sometimes hour to hour. I hope for frequent doses of stability and joy for you and your loved ones.

Date: 2016-11-14 06:24 am (UTC)
mithriltabby: Sleeping tabby (Zonk)
From: [personal profile] mithriltabby
A quote from my favorite Zen writer:

Have you ever glanced up randomly when you’re on an airplane ignoring the flight attendants safety instructions? When they tell you how to use those oxygen masks they say that you should first secure your own mask before helping others. There’s a good reason for this. If the plane is losing oxygen you’re going to be too woozy to be of service to anyone else until you first get your own stuff together. This is the way it is in life as well.

That’s how I remind myself to take time out when I’m running low on spoons.

Date: 2016-11-14 08:03 pm (UTC)
mithriltabby: Happy bunny BLEAH (Bleah)
From: [personal profile] mithriltabby
It’s hard to shake the “looking on with horrified fascination” thing!

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