Done Since 2019-04-14

[mdlbear]

BAD week. Colleen is in the hospital again, with damaged kidneys and multiple severe drug-resistant infections. She slipped getting back into bed Monday morning, after getting weaker all the previous week. It's pretty dire this time. V and I have been there every day.

N came up Thursday afternoon, and the kids and their SOs came up yesterday. It's that serious. See updates. I'm redacting almost all of the medical details in the notes; it'll go into the next Colleen update, with a content warning. Look for that tonight or tomorrow.

She's been delirious and mostly non-verbal from the infections and her wacked-out blood chemistry; the last coherent thing she said yesterday was "I want my Bear." All I could do was hold her hand, but that seemed to be enough.

N and I have decided to make this year's Rainbow Con a celebration for Colleen. She will almost certainly still be in rehab at that point, in which case we'll record and/or stream it. Come, if you can.

Notes & links:

0414Su
  * up 7ish; S=7:35; litter boxes
  @ Why Facts Don’t Change Our Minds | The New Yorker
  * OpenWrt on the new router (wap2).  Not routing out of the house.  Weird.
    -> works now -- packet forwarding lives in the firewall rules (iptables)
    -> it has zile, relayd, and luci-proto-remaybelay (which is missing for GL)
    Still not routing from WLAN, but probably straightforward now.
  ? thought about posting  The Ballad of Lost C'mell as tht S4S.  Maybe next week?
  % very worried about C.  S he's getting weaker, is sleeping a lot, and seems to
    be harder to communicate with.
  @ Self Published Author | Book Marketing Tips Introverts Will Love (cornerofmadness)
  @ Washington State Appears Next in Line for Comprehensive Privacy Legislation
    What marketers need to understand about fines under the new California Privacy Act
  % 10ish drifty  10:30 splat

0415Mo
  * Up 4:30; W=197, S=5:44;
  @ greywash | How to make your journal not suck for people who don't like your style
    found in my tabs on sherman, so probably somewhere else as well.  Yeah; back in Feb.
  @ How to fix Windows 8.1 wireless Limited Connectivity issue • Pureinfotech
  * finished configuring the box room access point.  Mostly using
    OpenWrt Project: Wifi Extender or Repeater or Bridge Configuration,
    adding Radio0 to the LAN interface and leaving the addr as 192.168.1.252 (rather than
    in the secondary net on ...8.  That does reach the router via ethernet, though.)
    -> installed and working in the box room.
    -> In my router, what is WMM and should I enable it? Hint: yes! – NuAngel.net 
       " Created by the Wi-Fi Alliance, [...] WMM was designed to enhance the streaming of
         multimedia over wireless devices. " (Wireless Multi-Media QOS)
  : C slipped transferring from walker to bed; She was bent over with one hand on the bed
    and one on the walker seat; no leverage and wasn't listening when I told her to take
    more steps back.  OTOH hospital is the right place for her ATM.  Eeek!
    -> called 911; they're taking her to the hospital because the weakness, shortness of
       breath, and (?)fistula are worrying. 
  * left for home around 6:15pm
  % 9:30 not getting -much-_anything_ done.  Pretty fried.  Also sleepy.
    
0416Tu
  & Up 4:15ish; S=5:16; shower
  @ Password Managers: Under the Hood of Secrets Management keepass appears to be the
    best of a bad lot.
  ~ 9:30a apparently forgot to plug Molly in last night.  I'll give her an hour or so.
  * take up garbage cans (in the morning so I don't forget)
  * bring 2 grape-raspberry ice, 2 lemon-lime; dental floss; GLASSES; Mrs. Dash, ears?
    -> couldn't find Mrs. Dash.  Buy on the way up? yes, but the hospital has a supply
  : 12ish Still looking grey and sounding weak.  Better than this morning according to V
    still having trouble breathing.  She will probably be going back to Prestige; Careage
    isn't accepting patients right now, following an inspection.
    -> doctor: kidney function improving but still below baseline; cultures haven't come
       back from the lab. (48 hours).  Breathing if anything worse than yesterday despite
       oxygen.  She does seem a little more alert, though.
    -> or did.  seemed to go downhill after lunch
  * cancel C's appointment with Dr. Rochier; ask whether she can make Thursday's uro appt;
    my guess is probably not. -> get a reading on it tomorrow
  % worried.  scared.  stressed.
  @ A Chemist Shines Light on a Surprising Prime Number Pattern | Quanta Magazine
  % 8:15 starting to get tension?? anxiety?? shakes.  Knowing sort of what they are
    helps. Alternatively they might just be because it's cold.
    8:20 falling asleep
  % I'd love to have a glass of something alcoholic, but have the vague feeling that it
    would be unwise.

0417We
  * up 5:30; W=200, S=6:28;
  x 12:45pm C Dr. Rochier CLINTON
  * try to get to Coupeville by around 8am -> more like 7:30
  * call Mom -> left voice mail
  * call YD -- she'll call Chaos
  * Talking with (ICU nurse) ?Michelle getting her up to speed
  % home.  Having trouble concentrating

0418Th ... 21 Norwescon (oh, well)
  * up 4:30; S=5:19;
  : C isn't talking but she is responding more and ate some chocolate pudding.
  * talk with Dr. Rosa Rangel
    -> 3 different bugs; they just found one this morning.
  * called the kids and put them each on speakerphone.  N and j after that.
    seemed to calm her down a lot.
  : J picking up j; N heading up 3:30ish.  Dealing with the Western Union site was
    agonizing. 
  & wired $100 gas money to Chaos; may be able to pick up YD on the way Saturday
    -> both kids coming up Saturday.
  : N arrived 7ish
  . household meeting -> will resume tomorrow am
  ~ L driving down to Oregon -> Friday
  * 1pm C UW urogynecology clinic for urodynamic study - UW surgery pavilion 1st fl.
    -> already cancelled
  * (0413) AMEX payment due

0419Fr
  * up 5:45ish; W=197.8, S=6:42;
  * wake N if not heard from by 8:00.  Head up ~9am
  * called hospital for status check -- nurse will call back
  * 10 up to hospital with N; V was there when we got there
    -> C much more responsive.
    -> They're having a lot of trouble getting labs, of course.  Being very brave about
       holding still; N helping and cheerleading.  Getting blood from a turnip would be
       easier, but they finally did it.
  * guitar noodling, mostly involving G/D/Dm/Am/...
  % N wants a discussion about "things that feed Steve".  Not entirely sure what that
    means, but I'll try to list some:
    , walking
    , playing guitar (incl. noodling)
    , singing
    , reading DW (other websites to a lesser extent, e.g. Wikipedia dives)
    , reading in general, though much less now that there's so much online
    , writing (sometimes)
    , good conversations (hard to come by; what I like most is the kind of deep
      conversation I get into with somebody new -- c.f. introvert)
    , the cats (should I play with them more?)
    , eating out with family (C and N especially)
    , cooking (some)
    , programming (for some values of...)
    , cuddling  I should cuddle more with C

0420Sa
  * up 6:30ish; S=7:44; litter boxes (S)
  ~ 8:30 wake N; plan on leaving ~9:30
  : She's not doing quite as well this morning -- kidney function not coming back enough;
    -: "I want my Bear" repeated several times.  Calmed down after I held her hand.
  : 10:20 E called; they're just outside Mukilteo at this point.
  : Both kids and their SOs.  (R's SO)A just accepted a job offer - delivery driver for
    Sleep Number.  Full benefits.
  : talk with Dr. R; N and the kids present.  More optimistic than what N got from the
    nursing staff before I got here, or what we could see this morning.
  % 3ish thought about singing "Eyes Like the Morning"; read the first verse and chorus
    and started crying.  I don't have to sing that now.
  : N and I went home 5ish; we'll rest for a while.
  @ posted mdlbear | Songs for Saturday: Eyes Like the Morning

I should post this.

Comments

[acelightning]

Repeated *HUGS* to you. I just noted that two weeks ago I was able to go traipsing around a gem & mineral show (I needed a meteorite) with my husband and our son, and I only had to stop and sit down and drink some water once. This time last year I was in the ER. What has brought me this far has been medical marijuana, eating lots of ginger and hot pepper, singing real loud, T'ai Chi lessons, and my husband being my "rock".

[mdlbear]

Thanks for the encouragement.

[acelightning]

Sometimes a little encouragement is all it takes to change things for the better. And I don't mind being made an example of.