Done Since 2020-07-05

[mdlbear]

I have no idea how to summarize this week. None.

Apparently I have a 35-year-old son. How the fsck did that happen? (I know, one day at a time. That's not helpful.)

Colleen had a (video) gastroenterology appointment Wednesday. The doctor saw that she was taking magnesium supplements and said that diarrhea is a common side effect. Stopped that and it seems to be helping, although she'll have to get bloodwork done to make sure that she isn't deficient, which is why she was taking it in the first place. (OTGH I was following the dosage on the bottle, which given that it's a supplement could well be nonsensical.) Over the course of the last week or so she seems to have been getting weaker. Not sure what's up with that either, and it's worrisome.)

Fun article in the NY Times to the effect that taking over and refurbishing somebody's old electronic device was like rescuing an abandoned pet. Given that I have six refurbished laptops and netbooks within arm's reach at the moment, that's a good way of looking at it.

N suggested that I get back into therapy, for support. I suspect that "support" may be one of those psychological words like "boundaries" that I don't really understand. But I've started looking at BetterHelp.com as a possibility anyway. It seems to be purely about connecting with professional therapists, and gives you the options of text messaging, real-time chat, phone, and video. Unlike 7cups, which started out as peer counseling, with professional therapy via asynchronous (only) text messaging added as an afterthought.

But I still don't have any idea how to make good use of therapy. Or what I should expect to get out of it, let alone how to tell whether or not I'm getting it. Or how to select a therapist in the first place. BetterHelp has software that attempts to match you up with a therapist based on your needs, but I think I'd need to have a better idea of what my needs are first.

Our local filk con, Conflikt, has announced that they're going online for January 2021. Ouch! Probably prudent, though.

I am not optiimistic right now.

Notes & links:

0705Su
  * Up 5:50ish; S=6:11; shower
  / cleanup
  @ How to Make Smartphones Last Longer - The New York Times
    Choosing to Skip the Upgrade and Care for the Gadget You’ve Got
    " ...tested the Treo and found it still worked. So he took the device home and made it
      his everyday mobile companion, much as one would adopt an abandoned animal on its
      way to being euthanized. "
  * China City: sm. Wonton Soup, Walnut Shrimp, Mongolian Beef, General Ng's Chicken
    -> next time order a large soup and something else instead of General Ng's chicken
  * working in MakeStuff/blogging.  Add redraft and updraft targets.  One could argue that
    the cute names are less clear than they could be.  They are, however, short.
  / major cleanup; major cleanup under chair

0706Mo  R's 35th birthday  * litter boxen
  * up 6am; S=5:54; 
  : Riley's birthday.  1985, so 35 years old.  WTAF?
    * he wants Keurig cup coffee -- anything but Starbuck's - ordered and delivered
  / cleanup
  @ Sifting Through the Pandemic – Information hygiene for the Covid-19 infodemic
    How to inoculate yourself against rumors about coronavirus — or any subject
  @ Interaction Design: Beyond Human-Computer Interaction [PDF] (via The Role of Empathy in Mobile Apps for Care Management – Chelsea Troy)
    Interaction Design - beyond Human-Computer Interaction
  * fixes in MakeStuff/blogging/entry.make.  
  * 3pm leave for MAC clinic
  * 4pm C MAC clinic - 10 days, so last is the 15th
    -* reschedule dentist _again_
  / 10ish? cleanup, dressing change -> back hurts
  % bed a little before midnight; didn't actually get to sleep

0707Tu
  / ~1am major++ cleanup; sheet change, laundry
    % uncontroled cursing, apologies, screaming, whatever; despair; I don't know what.
    % back pain ~4-5 -> 2 naproxen ~1:15; heat.  Plan on going back to bed ~2am->2:30
      1:30 mostly over the despair
  : and now I can't find her glasses.  FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK  probably in the washer now
  * up 6:30ish; S=4:29;
  * found her glasses on the floor in front of the litterbox, where they apparently fell
    while I was changing the sheets.
  / 9ish major+ cleanup; bathroom floor
  : there's a _lot_ of water damage in the bathroom both from the toilet and the shower
  * C needs to call Everett Clinic - pre-chart - call 425-339-5421 option 6
  * reschedule dentist now that we have solid dates for C's appointments
  * Set up VSee app for everett clinic - needed for 0708We
  * 3pm leave for MAC clinic
  * 4pm C MAC clinic - 10 days, so last is the 15th
  * check on schedule for Thursday, when there's a catheter change at 2pm
  * plug in scooter after returning home
  * L' coming by in the afternoon - have shopping list ready
  @ I Survived the Warsaw Ghetto. Here Are the Lessons I’d Like to Pass On. 
  * share E's virtual convention post on FB
    @ VIRTUAL Sci-fi convention this October
  % 9ish very tired

0708We
  * up 5:12; S=6:14;
  * load C's drugs -> loperamide is no longer available in bottles.  Problem.
  % decision paralysis - couldn't decide on breakfast, what to work on, ...
  # make Journals/ subdirs for memoir and curmudgeon? -> probably not worthwhile
  * 2:15 be ready for video appointment
  * 2:30 C video appointment everettgi Dr. Hecker - requires VSee Clinic app
    @Appointments & Referrals | The Everett Clinic setup (installed on my phone; we'll see if I can put it on C's new tablet)
    -> used it on the phone
    -> magnesium oxide is a laxative, so try dropping that.
  * 3pm leave for MAC clinic.  A little marginal but still 5 or 10m early, so ok.
  * 3:45pm C MAC clinic
  * out to garage for a folding chair (music room) and 3/8" bolt, washers, & nut (TV)
    ... and of course 3/8" is the wrong size - should be 1/4"
  / C vomiting after dinner.  % somewhat worried.

0709Th
  * up 5:05; S=6:13;
  & "pair programming" helping S with a game (minetest)
  % heat, for back
  * BetterHelp | Professional Counseling With A Licensed Therapist (N)
    JMU - Effectiveness of a Multimodal Digital Psychotherapy Platform for Adult
    Depression: A Naturalistic Feasibility Study | Marcelle | JMIR mHealth and uHealth
    -> went back through my 7c transcripts -- memory not all that good.  We agreed that I
       appeared to have the tools I needed.  By the last month it was mostly conversation
    -> Before trying therapy again I need to figure out some of what I need help with
       N says I need "support"; I think that's one of those words, like "boundaries", the
       meaning of which I don't quite get.
  * 2pm leave for Coupeville.  Take laptop - long appointment today
  * 3pm C MAC catheter change and injections
    -> need fresh tube of desitin for cat bag
  % there's a piece of grit or something in my right eye.
  * singing:  Ripple.  Probably best _not_ to capo it up.  Felt high.  Sounded okay
    though; I wasn't straining at all.  So maybe.
  % back complaining a little after loading the dishwasher -- should take meloxicam

0710-12 FotLR
  x I'm tentatively signed up for a concert -> but I'm not, and considering how little
    I've practiced that's a good thing

0710Fr  * litter boxen scooped
  * Up 5am; S=4:29;
  @ Conflikt Filk Convention 2021 cancelled
    " It is with sad resolve that we have decided to not have Conflikt 14 in 2021 in
      person due to the current global state of pandemic. 
        Instead, we will be holding OC1 (Online Conflikt 1) sometime on the weekend of
      January 29-31, 2021. Planning is in the works, so stay tuned for details in the
      coming weeks, mid-August at the earliest! "
  % ~9-10 apply heat to lower back
  @ The Far Side Comic Strip by Gary Larson - Official Website | TheFarSide.com
    via ‘The Far Side’ Cartoonist Gary Larson Shares First New Work in 25 Years - NYT
  @ Light Armor Face Mask of Wellness Legendary funny gamer | Etsy 
  * put up TV shelf.  Drill for hold-down.  Screw onto brackets.
  * re-load cat bag (except for desitin, which will be here tomorrow)
  * 2:45 start leaving for Coupeville
  * 3:45 C MAC clinic
  ~ -call-_email_ Al (around 8:30pm)
  / worried about her edema -- it's gotten much worse over the last few days.  Suspect CaO
  % meloxicam - preemptive

0711Sa
  * up 5:30; W=192.6, S=6:17;
  % heat on the back.
  @ gnudb.org an alternativ place for the free CD database to make sure it stays free
  @ MusicBrainz - The Open Music Encyclopedia
    doesn't support the freedb protocol anymore.  Should find a new ripper, I suppose.
    MusicBrainz Enabled Applications - MusicBrainz abcde is the obvious choice; it's
    installed with Honu but doesn't have a config file yet.
  * 3:30 leave for Coupeville
    -> scooter tipped over on crumbled concrete.  -> 911 Made it anyway, but ...
       Fortunately Colleen wasn't injured except for a few bruises.  It could have been
       much worse.
  * 4:30 C MAC clinic
  : listened to some of the FotLR circle, but the net connection was flaky

Comments

[gorgeousgary]

As of tomorrow, I will have a five-year son. Same reaction may still apply though.

[danceswithlife]

I have a MA in psychology (academic, not clinical), and I have a few ideas about ways you might find a therapist. Please let me know if you would like me to share them with you. If yes, I can do it in a DM instead of posted here, if you wish.
Lola

[mdlbear]

Feel free to reply here; some other people might benefit from it too. Or post it in your own DW and pass me a link.

[danceswithlife]

Sorry for the delay getting back to you. Here were my ideas. Since most therapy is done by tele or video medicine right now, you may have more choices since someone doesn't need to be local to you. Because of that it might be helpful to find support groups for the issues you've identified, and ask there is anyone knows a good therapist. Another possibility might be to do a literature search for the issues, and see if you can identify someone you feel has a good handle on it. If they aren't a therapist, getting in touch with them might be another way to get some leads. These may have already occurred to you, but if not, might be a couple ways to proceed. My best to you and Colleen.

[mdlbear]

Thanks! People have also pointed me at betterhelp.com, which has a wide choice of online therapists. I think my main problem right now is being able to articulate what the issues actually are.

[cellio]

A son? Wow. That's gotta take some time and headspace to process.

[jenk]

Congratulations and condolences, as needed, on your son. In your case it is less condolences for sleepless nights and more on coping with change.

Hoping for the best on the rest.