River: State of the bear

[mdlbear]

It's been a long month so far this week, and last week, starting from Monday when Mom died, might have been even longer, but my memory doesn't go back that far at the moment.

Let's not even mention the impending electoral trainwreck; my blood pressure and sleep won't stand it. The thing that told me just how close to the edge I was getting was the way I fell apart yesterday when I couldn't get audio working for Colleen's video appointment with her nephrologist. (That, at least, went well, after they eventually resorted to calling her phone; her kidney function is up a little from her last appointment. She's seen a little improvement in her other medical issues as well.) But my mental state while trying to get the damned thing working was, actually, rather alarming.

Then after that, the water went out. Turned out, after calling the water company, that something has been leaking a lot, and running down to our down-hill neighbor's where it was noticed by a contractor. It's on our side of the meter, so I spent the next hour or so finding a plumber. Then poured myself a double shot of gin. Figure I earned it.

Internet and phone went out this morning. for an hour or so. Which I could handle, but it was just One More Thing, and I'm tired. The plumber came out this morning about an hour later, and went away again to fetch an excavator. The leak is underground, of course, flowing into our gravel-filled drainage ditch, around the house, and out down the hill somewhere. Maybe it'll get fixed today, but I'm not counting on it.

Apart from that, I haven't been getting much of anything done. I think I mentioned that in my last State-of-the-Bear. My mental state has definitely deteriorated since then; some of that no doubt was having to cancel singing lessons, and some is just not being able get out of the house or be with people. Which is kind of odd, because it's not all that different from the way things were in the Before Times.

Plus c'est la même chose? Not a whole lot of ça change this time.

Comments

[jesse_the_k]

I'm sorry it's so hard.

[mdlbear]

Thanks. I keep wanting to say something like "oh, it's not all that bad -- I'm managing." But actually it probably is that bad, so managing is really some kind of accomplishment that I don't give myself credit for.

Or something like that. Sometimes I also have trouble figuring out whether I'm saying something that actually makes sense, or whether it's just words that happen to fit together because they sound good like that.

[minoanmiss]

I'm sorry things are so dreadfully hard. *hugs you warmly*

[mdlbear]

*hugs back* thanks.

[gorgeousgary]

Sorry life's crapping on you *hugs*.

[mdlbear]

*hugs*