Done Since 2021-07-25

[mdlbear]

On the whole, I had a really bad year last month.

Nothing much happened last week, and not much got done, and I'm okay with that.

Maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to cancel her phone service; anyone who calls her now will get a "disconnected" message. Hopefully anyone who actually knows her -- or, rather, us -- will have enough sense to call me and ask. Some people will no doubt lose touch. I don't think it matters enough for me to worry about it. (But I will anyway, I suppose.)

I intend to sing a few songs at the memorial Tuesday. I should practice; that way I might be able to get through "Eyes Like the Morning" and "The River" without falling apart. I know, nobody will mind if I don't. But still.

Notes & links:
0725Su
  * up 6:45; S=7:54, W=200, BP=133/76, P=58, p=3; exercises, shower, heat
    (Apollo)ankle buzzer did seem to help
  * put Molly on Hilltop Reserve again.  Recall h/w not available yet.
  * pack sweat pants because it's cold in the morning
  * leave CPAP humidifier on Whidbey
  * pack * almonds, * beef jerky
  % avoiding news.  Hard enough to have lost a person, without having to worry about
    losing a country, or a planet.
  * Sorting in the garage with N.  Total box count reduced by 2 (containing things N is
    taking home).  Discussion around recliners and other furniture, etc.
    -> the purple couch is probably not worth keeping. (freecycle?)
    -> freecycle the the piggie cage
    -> need to figure out which recliner goes in the LR, and which in the studio.
       -> if Colleen's fits in the studio, I think Ticia would like that.
    -> found the missing glasses stand top and the basin wrench, so those go down to RS
  @ Unique Cremation Jewelry and Glass Paperweights with Cremains – Spirit Pieces (comment by @tibicina) 
  * made mac+cheese for dinner (with extra pasta for S).  Sat by the couch with N.
  * pack microphones, stereo bar, mounting post, interface - for memorial
    fit nicely in one of Colleen's makeup cases.
  % symptoms of grief, from p. 10 of Carrying...:
    *Insomnia *Physical exhaustion *Time loss  *Confusion **Sadness  Anger *Clumsiness
    Sleeping all the time *Anxiety  Nightmares  Intense dreams  Loss of apetite
    *Loss of interest  Feeling like you don't belong  Eating everything *Frustration
    **Sense of unreality  Loneliness *Memory loss  Stomach pains, chest pains, and other
    physical sesations *Trouble concentrating  Hard time reading *Short attention span
    *Restlessness  Hypersensitivity  Phantom aches and pains  Interpersonal challenges
    *Nothing has meaning  Everything has meaning  **Inability to cry *Numbness  Mood swings
    Crying so hard you gag or throw up  *Everyday tasks seem confusing *Dark sense of humor
    Screaming in the car **Crying silently  Feeling differet from everyone else
    Feeling short-tempered  Abandoning your shopping cart at the grocery store
    Feeling immense love for everything around you
  * pack scooter cape; reading light; do and pack laundry

0726Mo
  * up 6:50; S=7:23, BP=127/76, P=61; exercises
  ~ pack:  * drugs, * CPAP, * night guard, ~ book, ~grated cheddar
    x Colleen's -wallet-, ~phone book, etc.  scan??
    It got late (7:30ish) so ended up leaving in a rush without checking the list.  Oops!
  * leave 8ish to get N home in time for Things
  # Colleen's makeup case (currently holding audio equipment) can work for the CPAP
    ideally there would be padding around the sides.  Laundry is not ideal for that.
  : Molly:  07/23/2021 Manufacturer Safety recall issued NHTSA #21V560 Recall #N212343880
    HIGH VOLTAGE BATTERY MAY MELT OR BURN Status: Remedy Not Yet Available 
  @ Inslee signs climate change legislative package | by WA Governor’s Office
  * 15min: (some) dishes
  % meloxicam 9:45 with evening drugs.  Left eye itching
  & N needed a bag brought in from Molly, so brought in Colleen's scooter cape as well
    I'm using it as an extra blanket, just as Colleen used to in hospitals etc.

0727Tu
  * up 5:17; S=6:21; pain in R. hip -> exercises, heat
  @ Windows 11: A first look at the first preview
  @ CommonPass | Digital Health App
  @ windy.com interactive map
    AirNow Interactive Map air quality
  & 15min:  tweaking `make save` for better messaging and documentation.
  @ filkertom on FB great picture of me and Colleen (from Michael Silady)
  * singing:  Eyes Like the Morning, The River.  % Didn't fall apart this time.
  @ Foldscope Instruments | Magnify Your Curiosity (via Stanford alumni magazine)
    Foldscope - Wikipedia
    Foldscope: Origami-Based Paper Microscope
  % meloxicam 10:30 with pm drugs

0728We
  * up 5:15; S=5:38; exercises
  @ MIT Predicted in 1972 That Society Will Collapse This Century. New Research Shows
    We’re on Schedule. Limits to Growth [PDF] (siliconshaman)
  * 15min: some formatting improvements in h.home
  & buy StoryBundle: Cattitude because cats
  & lost pretty much the entire day to a wikipedia dive starting at Chelsea Troy's post
    about compilers.  Mrrp.
  @ 'OK not to be OK': Mental health takes top role at Olympics
  * 15min: made firefox profile for Colleen on Sable.  Looks like everything from the
    phone transferred (very little except contacts)
    firefox --no-remote --P Colleen&
  / still getting used to not having to avoid foods that Colleen can't have.
  * 15min: update contacts and family-info.  Ought to be a way to sync them.
  % meloxicam with pm drugs
  * (0728) Save contacts from C's phone,
  % hip, leg pain -> exercises
  # "exercises" should really be "stretches", but not changing because consistency

0729Th
  * up 6:45ish; S=7:15; exercises
    % right-side hip pain -> heate
  @ Learn Emacs Lisp in 15 minutes - Bastien Guerry (2021-07-26 Emacs news :: Sacha Chua)
  # started looking for an Emacs Mastodon client, and promptly fell down a rabbit-hole:
  @ TIL: Gopher, Gemini and The Smol Internet - by Steve Lord - Tales From The Dork Web
  @ Elpher Gopher Client
  @ Gemini Portal
    " Gemini is a new internet protocol which:
      Is heavier than gopher
      Is lighter than the web
      Will not replace either
      Strives for maximum power to weight ratio
      Takes user privacy very seriously "
    Project Gemini FAQ
  @ tildeverse
    " tildes are pubnixes in the spirit of tilde.club,
      which was created in 2014 by paul ford. " (pubnix = public access unix system)
    ~~~How to ~tilde; a n00b's primer~~~~
  # ^^^ rabbit-holes.  c.f. gopher-holes
  @ jdenen/mastodon.el: Emacs client for Mastodon (use-package mastodon :ensure t)
    also, toot - Mastodon CLI client
  * delete Colleen's line from phone bill
  @ ‘The war has changed’: Internal CDC document urges new messaging, warns delta
    infections likely more severe - The Washington Post
  * factory wipe Colleen's phone
  % 10:55 having trouble even moving, let alone thinking.  meloxicam with pm drugs

0730Fr
  * up 6am; S=7:00; exercises
  : c leaving 2ish for CO
  * cancel appointment with Dr. Dixon 360-331-5060 -> online message
  * make appointment with Dr. Chopra tel:206-520-5000
    issues:  hip/leg pain (arthritis, piriformis syndrome?), blepharitis, hypertension
  * make appointment with Dr. Downey at Urology Northwest  ~ book online
    -> they'll get back to me; couldn't schedule online.  -> 0817Tu
  % out to the lair with c to change bedding.  Will probably sleep there next week
  % 2:30 drifty.  Apparently 2 phone calls plus a web message are all I can manage
  * order CPAP supplies from Norco:  The changes will happen 9/1.
    6n/1   CPAP:  replace filter, headgear:                      0 mod 6 (June, Dec?)
    3n/1   CPAP:  replace mask                                   0 mod 3 (03,06,09,12)
    3n/1   CPAP:  replace tubing                                 ? mod 3 (03,06,09,12)
  @ The Oxymoron of “Data-Driven Innovation” – Chelsea Troy
  @ DuckDuckGo’s Quest to Prove Online Privacy Is Possible | WIRED
  % 6:30 meloxicam with pm drugs
  * get the rest of the things out of Molly - * dragons  * 2 boxes
  * make dinner - chicken stir-fry; jasmine rice
  * pack 2-3 extra pairs socks, boxers

0801Sa
  * up 6:15ish; S=8:00; exercises
  & 8:45 get dressed, get moving
  * remember to pack:  * drugs  * CPAP (w/ mask)  * glasses  * night guard
  ~ N is in m's room; okay to wake her to get goodbye hugs (she came out for br and hug)
  * bring in from Molly - bag of tea (okay to let it ride)
  * out the door ~9am -> home ~noon
    % noon: right leg hurting quite a lot -> cane.   2:45 Now not hurting, but tingling
  * 15min: emptied the purple scooter bag (mostly ziplok bags)
  * 15min: sort mail
  * 15min: sort more of Colleen's stuff.
  * cancel Colleen's $A Prime, Kindle Unlimited memberships
  : V came over to talk, and see how I was doing.
  * pack USB AA/AAA battery charger, extra AAA and AA batteries (1each), binder clips
  * make bed
  * stage lap desk, (older, Walgreens) BP monitor
  * update Colleen's google account recovery phone# to mine.  May not have been a great
    idea to give up the line so soon after all.
  % 9:20 falling asleep
  % meloxicam 9:35