River: Amethyst Rose: 32

[mdlbear]

Still there in the twilight my Amethyst Rose
Will be blooming untarnished by tears. -- "For Amy"

I wrote that song twenty years ago yesterday. A year ago, my post was mainly about Colleen, who had died less than a month before. (Her song is Eyes Like the Morning.) (Is anyone reading this new since last year? Or the year before? I don't think so, but I could be wrong. If you are, you may want to either skip this, or do some catching up.) Whatever. Onward....

I'm having a lot of trouble getting things done. A lot of that is just plain lazyness, but a lot is also denial. I can handle Colleen's death, sort of. What I'm having real trouble with is the prospect of moving. The house is a bit of a wreck, there's too much Stuff (that I don't know what to do with), and the yard is an absolute disaster. I need to call a plumber, find someone to clear the yard, take the cats to a vet, hire movers, ... and somehow downsize from about 1500 square feet (2000 if you count the garage full of boxes) to under 200. I'm probably going to have to throw money at someone to organize an estate sale for that. Maybe a senior relocation specialist?

And my left hip has been giving me trouble all week. Piriformis, probably. It was significantly worse last night, though it seems to have responded pretty well to naproxen. I'm still going to skip the yardwork I'd planned for today, because ouch!

I'm blathering. It's not as if I started writing this with a plan or anything...

Colleen and I spent fifty years surrounding ourselves with beautiful things. I don't know what's going to become of them now. Or of me, for that matter.

And because it's hauntingly relevant, here's a video of Joni Mitchell singing “Big Yellow Taxi” Live at Newport Folk Festival a week ago last Sunday. I think I'm going to stop here. I think I'd intended to add a fantasy bit, but maybe another day. That's okay, Daddy. Mommy and I will still be here whenever you need us.

Comments

[spiffyvoxel]

Setting myself reminders to do things using the Reminders apps on my Apple devices is what finally got me on the road to getting organised and procrastinating (slightly) less. I've tried a few other systems, and if cross-platform is a must Todoist would be what I recommend. Beware of the Productivity Rabbit-Hole, though: it is very real and will suck up lots of your time if you allow it.

I've been gradually downsizing over the last few years, but now need to kick it up a gear as my bedroom is overdue for redecorating — the heat this summer has caused cracks to grow in the plaster on the ceiling, the walls still have marks from old shelves and cupboards, and the carpet has seen better days. The biggest eye-sore, though, is the wardrobe, which was a flat-pack assembly that never quite sat level when we put it together, resulting in some doors not closing flush. The back panels are coming loose too, and there's no way I could disassemble it and put it back together again. So I'll need to dispose of unneeded clothes and clear out the extra crap I store in there.

I'll have a foretaste of the disruption in a few months, when I need to move my computer workstation out of the room so that new double-glazing can been fitted — sorely needed since energy prices are shooting up here.

But yeah, Reminders are your friend, and make sure they're under your nose wherever you look.

[mdlbear]

My current system almost works, except that there are some manual operations that I need to automate. And I've gotten way too good at ignoring reminders for things I don't want to do, especially if they'd require getting out of my microscopic comfort zone. (Just about anything that requires talking to people I don't know to get started.)

[catsittingstill]

*hugs if desired*. I wish I were close enough to come and help, even if it was just, I dunno, cutting the yard back a bit so you can move around more easily or something.

[mdlbear]

Thanks! Hugs are very welcome (There have been moments when they weren't, but they're rare.)

I got some help with the weeds today from c; we got about a quarter of the thistles cut down and bagged. Unfortunately he'll be moving to Colorado soon. I'll miss him a lot.

It's possible that what the yard really needs is some attention from a large herd of goats. Although actually it may be past that point.