Done Since 2022-08-14
2022-08-21 11:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mdlbearCrazy and chaotic week, and mostly not in a good way. Family health problems (not me), as a result of which I've spent most of the week up on Whidbey Island with the cats. Which is actually not a bad place for me right now. And I've been Getting Things Done, at least a little. I don't know why, five years after moving to Whidbey and 13 months after Colleen's death, I am finally finding the (energy? motivation? ????) to get some things re-started, but...
So over the last couple of weeks I've finally started making progress on the weeds (which I should have done four years ago), shelving both here and in Seattle, and triage (mainly in Colleen's leftover clothing). Almost all of the latter (three 13ga bags worth so far) is headed for donation; only a few things are so worn that they can't be donated (although I suspect that most will get tossed anyway). It helps that E and c have already picked over the clothing (E only), fabric, and cookbooks. It still isn't enough.
It doesn't help that I keep running across things in the closet that I really have no use or space for, but are so "Colleen" that I don't know what to do with them. Clothes. Hats. Stuffies. Unfinished sewing and needlepoint projects. Later, maybe? I don't know -- this is the "later" I was putting things off to a year ago. And four years ago. And ten years ago.
Have I mentioned low self-esteem lately? Have I mentioned my unfinished projects? Have I mentioned regrets? Being up here by myself is good for me, but that doesn't mean that it feels good to be me. Yeah, I know: grieving and recovering from burnout. Where should one draw the line between self-compassion and whinging?
Maybe I'll get to some of those questions later this week. See above about "later".
Notes & links: 0614Su * litter boxen * up 5:30; S=5:57; exercises, shower @ Climate change is increasing the risk of a California megaflood | Science @ Rangoli: Very calming to watch and listen to. (from a locked post) Independence day rangoli Diwali special rangoli Daily Lotus Rangoli Designs big multicolored festival rangoli//easy rangoli design// relaxing rangoli video - YouTube % I should probably try to figure out how to describe that breathing thing, where I take a deeper breath every so often and there's this weird abdominal muscle action and it almost feels like sobbing but probably isn't. Sleep apnea? * Go to garage to fetch drill. Also found two hanging shelf standards and a ~5' rail (One of the old black ones; a style they've gone back to) -> The idea is to take the current 6' set down to RS, (probably leaving the short one up here), and use the shorter rail to put one or two shelves up mainly for TP and the paper towel dispenser. @ An Actor, a Helmsman, and My Brian: Boldly Going Where No Widow Has Gone Before 0815Mo & Awake 2am; S=2:38; down 4:55; never got back to sleep. gave... * up 5:45; ; % and tweaked a muscle on my right hip, getting out of bed. -> heat % but I still don't really want to stay awake. depression? * */15 pay AX cards, Molly * */15 CPAP: change paper filter, @ Right to free period products becomes law in Scotland - BBC News @ 5 Best Password Managers (2022): Features, Pricing, and Tips | WIRED tl;dr: 1Password, bitwarden (best free; open source; freemium), KeePassXC (best DIY) @ The complete beginner's guide to cooking in a hotel room 4 rice cooker recipes for hotel room cooking - Points with a Crew -> Not exactly traveling light if you need a plastic tub full of gear. @ The Joy of Tech comic... New search protocols! searching for reproductive health @ FB has become even less unusable than twitter and google -- browser-wide login, so you have to keep switching between page and "profile", and switching to a private window doesn't seem to help. Though it's a little hard to tell. * take down Elfa shelves in bathroom. % noon: I need lunch. Probably not a full blood-sugar crash, but close @ Top 10 Stressful Life Events - How You Can Persevere [The Real Story] Top 10 Most Stressful Life Events: The Holmes And Rahe Stress Scale – Pain Doctor -> continuing down this rabbit-hole is probably not good for me @ Evolution Only Thinks About One Thing, and It’s Crabs Carcinisation Noisestorm - Crab Rave [Monstercat Release] - YouTube Crab Rave - Wikipedia @ A Theory of Reality as More Than the Sum of Its Parts emergent causality @ 21 Rhetorical Devices Explained ~ put up the black not-exactly-elfa rail in the bathroom. The standards don't fit! :( x bath % naproxen 0816Tu * up 6:40; S=7:26; exercises % a little hip pain and some trigger-finger in both hands (mostly toward the pinkies) -> naproxen, heat; diclofenac ointment @ Update Zoom for Mac now to avoid root-access vulnerability | Ars Technica @ 'Disturbing': Experts troubled by Canada’s euthanasia laws | AP News Stephanie Tait: "And if your gut instinct is to respond to this by saying, “but it’s still a stretch to think we’d just kill disabled people or leave them to die off?” Look around, you’ve ALREADY shown you’re comfortable with mass death as long as “they had preexisting conditions though.”" / Twitter * guitar: Lock Keeper - definite improvement * try to get medical records sent down to UW -> download all; print last year -> drop in? * CPAP wash tubs * drive down to Seattle @ Times Architects Outdid Themselves And Came Up With Something So Thoughtful mix of handicap-friendly stuff, homeless-friendly, and some wildlife-friendly % 10:30ish meloxicam, heat. Making the bed was just about all I could do at one stretch I should get up and do my teeth and my nose. Not clear I'll make it. % did not, in fact, get out of bed until after midnight; must have dozed some 0817We * up 555; S=4:29 + ?; exercises; * load drugs * walk: W. to end of block * guitar: bad guys * leave 9:15 at latest. skip breakfast in case of labs * 10am Appointment with Emily A Hilderman, Arrive by 9:45 AM PDT UW Northgate % temp=99, BP=155/92 (HIGH!), P=74; O2sat=94% (LOW), W=205, height=5'3.3", BMI=35.94 Weight was a bit surprising; I usually get that _without_ clothes and pocket contents -> PT referral (they'll call) -> lower back X-rays % 1pm - feeling a little off -- hopefully not covid -> no, it isn't -> 4:40ish: covid test; start 4:56, read at 5:11 -> negative, as expected * give k its ring (found by c in the box room) @ Loving kindness meditation to cultivate compassion - YouTube The usual: friends, neutrals, enemies, self. Requires smiling and conjuring up faces and emotions; very difficult in all four cases. % lab results in. creatinine H, alkaline phosphatase L, HDL L, triglyceride H % meloxicam with pm drugs, ~10pm * determined that the Elfa hanger strip will span the bed and both nightstands 0818Th * up 7am; S=6:50, BP=123/82(H), P=61, W=203.4; exercises, heat; * start putting shelves together * 9:45 checkin northgate clinic back x-ray 10am @ Start Your Odyssey | Delta Air Lines - YouTube (melchar via andrewducker) " The commercial is beautifully shot, but it EQUATES travel on Delta Airlines to Homer's 'The Odyssey': THE #1 story about how HORRIBLE travel is - in which it takes Odysseus -10- years to get home from the Trojan War, during which ALL his companions DIE! " classic. You can't make this stuff up. @ Can Baby Boomers quit fearing monkeypox if they were vaccinated against smallpox as kids? | Column -> no. Get a booster as soon as JYNNEOS is in adequate supply % I appear to be the local Middle-Sized Bear today. Plans back in the cocked hat. % 6pm SpO2~93-94%, which seems low % meloxicam with pm drugs * finished putting together the second green-and-white tower shelf unit. There's a screw missing, but at least the cam-locks went together okay this time 0819Fr & awake 3:30ish; S=4:15; heat for back pain : ordered more COVID tests -- may have been a mistake, but we're using a lot of them now * up 6:50ish; S=5:54; may not have actually slept c * 9:30 E' @ These Are Not Photos: Beautiful Landscapes Created by New AI | PetaPixel Stable Diffusion launch announcement Stability.Ai @ The Ghost of Workshops Past: How Communism, Conservatism, and the Cold War Still Mold Our Paths Into SFF Writing | Tor.com * drive up to RE (to take care of cats and so c can stay down here) -> arrived ~6:45 * SL: distilled water, coffee, bacon, prunes, tums x goo-gone, barkeeper's friend, + string cheese, brie, cream cheese, lox, prunes; TJ's peanut udon salad (the udon salad isn't very good: pasty noodles.) 0820Sa * litter boxen * Up 5am; S=4:01; exercise @ US political violence is surging, but talk of a civil war is exaggerated–isn’t it? " We’re getting to a point where if the Trumpist faction wins, I think we’ll see sustained extremely high levels of violence for the foreseeable future. And if they lose, I think it’ll be worse " ... so that would be a "no". * weeds -- thistles beside the driveway. Got most of them before standing got _me_ almost all had gone to seed already, but not all the seeds were blown away. Left enough so that I can come back and hit them with glyphosate @ The Infinite Sorrow of Grieving a Spouse | Psychology Today @ The Spider nebula in infrared reveals young stars being born. Not actually named after Spider Robinson, but rotate it 90° counter-clockwise... @ SL: yogurt, + cottage cheese, English, ground beef, kippers, anchovies, tofu deli: general Tso's (all they had left, wh ch wasn't much), eggplant roll % 4pm an hour -- or was it two? doing basically nothing. -> depression, probably * 15min: install coat-hook next to back shower. -> now I don't have to find a Elfa hanger strip, since there's little need for it there. Might eventually want to replace the crappy Closet Maid shelves, though. * 15min: go through Colleen's hung-up dresses and tops. -> A few may want reconsideration; the rest went into bags for donation * had the General Tso's for dinner. Slightly under half a pint container - just right * 15min: more clothes sorting. now up to 3 bags. % a few items are hard to let go of -- _very_ Colleen, like the teapot top and the purple hooded cape. But I don't think I would _wear_ them, so... * Singing: The Mary Ellen Carter, Lock Keeper
no subject
Date: 2022-08-21 08:01 pm (UTC)Well, I've had an eventful few days. The double-glazing replacement work that wasn't due until end of next month can now be done next Monday — that has meant decluttering and preparing three upstairs rooms (two bedrooms including mine, plus the bathroom). My sister brought over lots of boxes for me to pack books into, and together with my mum we've taken down curtains and blinds, removed some light fixtures, moved furniture and done lots of vacuuming. I'm cursing having bought so many coffee-table books back in the 90s, hard to pack and heavy! Also, a computer desk that has served me well but is a b*gger to disassemble and reassemble. (I've have to move my computer into another room, and will sleep in different bed next few nights.
And as if I didn't have enough stress, my mum's 2014 iMac started acting up, and is now refusing to boot. I've broached the subject of buying a new one, she's resigned to that prospect. Thankfully all her data is back up to external drive, plus an external SSD which I used the other year to give her machine a speed-boost.
Once the windows are done, I'm looking at sorting my books into keep/sell/donate piles, then downsizing my wardrobe ahead of a long-overdue redecoration of my bedroom next year. Looking over the physical books I own, I'm saddened that I bought so many that have lain unread, but hopefully they can find new homes. The wardrobe is a beast, has never fitted together properly, and is starting to come apart at the back. I'll probably end up throwing out a lot of clothes and other detritus that's hiding in there. On the plus side, I now have my dad's old Kindle working again, and intend to make full use of that, so I'll hopefully be able to slim down to just one bookshelf. Fingers crossed!
no subject
Date: 2022-08-21 08:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-26 04:39 pm (UTC)That was a great idea; I've started doing it, and hopefully in a few days or weeks I can put a link to them so that friends can see whether there's anything they want to pick out before they get donated.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-26 01:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-26 04:49 pm (UTC)Yeah, that's a good idea. If there are any left over after family and friends take their pick.