River: Adrift / Ambushed

[mdlbear]

Yesterday, in one of my online grief support groups, someone wrote that she felt lost, and the only thing she saw in her future was [don't want to quote -- it should be obvious from my reply]:

Sympathy. I have pretty much the same vision for my future -- sitting home alone and petting my cat. But I'm selling the house -- the last house that Colleen and I lived in together -- and planning on moving with my chosen family, and packing up memories. I'm not in the best of shape right now, and feeling very much adrift.

Which immediately reminded me of N's song "Staying Home Tonight" (based on a Zenna Henderson story). I got to the last line, "An aging world and woman who are staying home tonight", and fell apart. That's a good thing -- I'd been wondering whether, between age, alexithymia, and dysthymia, I'd lost the ability to cry. Apparently not.

It mostly seems to happen with songs, (or other things that I've written), which I guess kind of makes sense. Because I can't usually tell what I'm feeling, but it sometimes comes out in my writing anyway. Not that I've written much besides blog posts lately. Or someone else's song will hit me at just the right spot, at the right time. Like this time.

I think I probably had something else I wanted to say, but that was yesterday, and it's gone.

ETA: Note -- most of this post was written on Monday 6/5, so "yesterday" would have been Sunday.

Comments

[wyld_dandelyon]

Grief can be like that. Sympathy!

[mdlbear]

Thanks!

[ellenmillion]

giant hugs.

[acelightning73]

Another member of my generation who read Zenna Henderson1 *HUG!*
And I clicked the link, and instantly remembered the context of the story... wham...

[mama_kestrel]

Hugs.

Naomi's lyrics are lovely. Is there a recording anywhere?

[mdlbear]

Apparently not -- we had it on a draft setlist for Consonance 2009, but it got cut before the concert. Sorry about that. I'd like to revive it at some point.

[redsixwing]

Glad the song provided some catharsis.