Done yesterday (20090711)

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Yesterday was mostly spent puttering around the house; pocketnaomi and I carried on a very sporadic IM conversation egging one another on. Not as good as being there to help, but good.

The main thing was working on the SE corner of the bedroom. The goal is to replace the old shelf standards and brackets with Elfa, and add a couple of shelves to the South wall. I got the South wall done, and three shelves cleared on the East wall (leaving two more) A lot of sorting and recycling happened at the same time.

I went out for a walk (including some grocery shopping). The major insight was noticing how liberating it was to know that a lot of things simply are not going to get done. The more essential stuff still has to happen, but...

I bought some Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime Extra tea along with the other things; it turned out to be useful when I had trouble getting back to sleep at 3am.

I ended the day with some singing (at Colleen's request): I sang "Gentle Arms of Eden" and "Where the Heart Is" for Marty, then Naomi asked me to call her and sing something, and Colleen suggested "The Mary Ellen Carter". Fun!

River: non-negotiable demands

I still haven't really gotten the hang of this "the caregiver has to take care of himself, too" thing. Nor have I really gotten the hang of doing things I "enjoy". But there are a few things I really have to find time for, not so much because I "enjoy" them -- though I suppose I do -- but because I go crazy if I go without them for too long.

Walking is one. I have to have my walk; preferably every day and preferably for an hour. I can cut that back to half an hour every other day, but not for long. It's the only exercise I get, but it's more than that.

Livejournal is another; possibly at an even higher priority than walking. If I'm at a con, or on some other kind of tight schedule, I will squeeze in time to read my friends list if I have any time for the computer at all. Email to a lesser extent. Other kinds of reading, on the net and off, if there's time -- reading is something I can do even with a lot of distraction, so it's useful for those times. But time spent on the computer interacting with people is crucial -- LJ, IM, email... I rarely see anyone outside of my family, a few local friends, and coworkers; the computer is usually my only way to feel connected with my closest friends.

Music is a little further down on the list; I'm not quite sure why. Especially music where I'm interacting with people: performing, or practicing with friends, or singing in a small, friendly circle. Just practicing by myself, or even songwriting, are less essential. I guess music is further down on the list because I can't do it whenever I want with the people I want to make music with. Too many of my friends are far away.

And then there's time with friends (including people like Colleen, and my family-of-choice, who are much more than friends). There's a reason why I'll usually drop everything else to go for a drive with Colleen (as I did tonight, in fact). But, as with music, most of the people I would like to spend time with are far away. I can't spend as much time as I'd like with most of my friends, and in some ways that's just as well, or I wouldn't have time for anything else. It'd be worth the trade, though.

Time for creativity -- songwriting, software, writing -- is important, but a lot of the secondary activities around that feel like work, and they're not as important to me as things that put me in touch with people.

(added 0713 7:53) Hot baths. Not so much for getting clean as for relaxation -- a hot bath helps me get to sleep. It's getting increasingly difficult to find the time. I really miss the days when Colleen was spry enough to get in and out of our 6-foot tub, and we could take a bath together.