Done yesterday (20090907)

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A pretty good day, or at least a moderately productive one. Colleen had originally wanted to get up early and go to Tapestry In Talent downtown; I figured that if she doesn't wake up with a kiss, she needs the sleep.

While she slept I did the dishes, cleaned the pots, partitioned the fileserver's new drives, made breakfast, and made my hotel reservations for OVFF.

What I actually ended up doing with Colleen was going for a drive, and stopping at the large Whole Foods in Cupertino. Scored a 25-pound bag of brown basmati rice and some gluten-free English muffins, among other yummy things. Win.

I went out for a walk around the Rose Garden, and made burgers for dinner. I ought to show the YD how to make hamburger patties properly so they cook thoroughly and don't fall apart. Colleen's and mine had blue cheese in them. I can haz (blue) cheeseburger!

Ended the evening running through my concert set for Naomi (via phone) and Colleen; we added Chaos via skype about halfway through what ended up being a 90-minute session. We really need to get streaming and conferencing set up, and do it more often.

I'm not sure why music gets pushed aside so often. Some kind of coping strategy gone awry, I suppose.

I have this problem: I'm worried...

... but I don't know what I'm worried about. It's weird, and, um, worrying. When I know what I'm worried about, I can do something about it: either tell myself it's so unlikely as not to be worth worrying about, or do something about it. Or, I suppose, push it out of my mind and try not to think about it, or tell myself I'll start working on it Real Soon Now.

What the heck do you do when you can't figure out what the problem is?

River: Insight of the day

I explain myself a lot. Too much for some people, Colleen among them. I realized that I'm so used to having my words and actions misunderstood, after decades of it, that I have an uncontrollable need to keep explaining until I get a response that indicates that the other person has, in fact, understood what I said or did.

Which would be a great idea, if the normal person's reaction wasn't to get angry and stop paying attention because, to them, I'm either repeating myself endlessly, or contradicting them.

... and in a somewhat different direction, yes, I did catch myself apologizing for a miscommunication between Emmy and Colleen. Possibly because I kept trying to ask questions that were intended to fill in the gaps, and they both kept brushing me off.

They really are, when you think about it, parts of the same problem. I can easily see the gaps in other people's logic (I'm not taking about my own logic, you'll note -- it's always easier to debug someone else's code than one's own), and they barge ahead anyway, either not noticing or not caring, and thinking they can easily fill in the gap with what they're quite certain the other person was trying to say.

I'm a lot less tolerant of uncertainty and ambiguity than most people seem to be.