Done Since 2021-07-18

You know how sometimes things seem to be dragging along very slowly, and nothing is happening and you're not getting anything done, until you look up and notice that two weeks have gone by while you weren't looking? That.

Not that I was getting much of anything done before, but it still feels different in kind, if not in degree. Probably because it's the first time in years that I've had a valid excuse.

I don't think I mentioned it anywhere but last week's notes, but I've been spending most weekdays sleeping on an airbed in N's living room. The plan is to move into her back-yard studio apartment after its present occupant moves out in a couple of weeks. I've been gradually moving stuff down. I still expect to be spending most weekends up here at the North End for at least the next year and a half.

N gave me a workbook, How to Carry What Can't Be Fixed, by Megan Devine. The subtitle is "A Journal for Grief". There's a lot of wisdom in there; whether use it much is an open question. There's a list of possible "symptoms" on page 10 under the heading "What's 'Normal'?" that seems a lot more complete than most of what I've run across; it includes both "inability to cry" and "crying silently". I'm pretty sure I haven't seen those before in any list of "normal" symptoms; it's good to know that I'm not as weird as I thought I was, though I still attribute them to alexithymia.

( Notes & links, as usual )