introversion

[mdlbear]

I was greatly surprised to hear someone I was talking to at Baycon -- it might very well have been vixyish -- disagree with my self-assessment as an introvert. Her reasoning was that someone who enjoys being at cons, enjoys good conversation, and performs filk in front of a live audience, just has to be a "people person". Apparently the fact that I'm horribly shy except with people I know doesn't count.

The thing about conventions is that, because I've been going to them for so long, there are a lot of people I know there. And online places like LJ and, before that, alt.callahans, mean that I've been introduced to a lot of people before I have to interact with them face-to-face. The recent trend of people putting LJ usernames on their badges is great for me. Even so, you're more likely to find me at a panel or a filk concert than hanging out in the lobby with the flower_cat.

As for filk concerts, there are a couple of factors: filk audiences are friendly, most of the people coming to my concerts are people I already know, and keeping my performance together requires enough concentration that I don't really notice that there are other people out there.

I hardly ever take a book to parties anymore, but on Wednesdays at the Starport you're still most likely to find me in the office, either reading on the Web or talking with a small number of geeks about some subject I'm familiar with. I'll sometimes play guitar, and occasionally sing, but mostly only if asked. It sometimes takes me a couple of weeks to psych myself up to the point where I can make a phone call. I have great difficulty reading emotions from people's faces, don't remember names, and only rarely pick up hints or cues that other people think are obvious.

So if you run into me at a con, feel free to come up and introduce yourself. Especially if you think I ought to remember who you are -- I probably just have to be reminded.

Comments

[jilara.livejournal.com]

I hear you. Most folks are amazed to learn that social situations don't come easily for me, either. I have what I call a "social personna" that I started cultivating back in Jr. High, which I cycle in when I need to interact with people. But it comes at considerable expense, in terms of emotional energy, and it's a LOT of work. If I have to keep it online too long, I eventually burn out, put up major barriers, and need to just retreat from the world for a couple days, and not interact.

[vixyish.livejournal.com]

It wasn't me, but it's an interesting thought. gfish is the same way-- shy except with people he already knows-- and I pretty much consider him an introvert as well. :)

Filk cons, and cons with a good large filk community in attendance, feel like another world to me. A better one, and more importantly a safer one. I never want to leave the cocoon at the end of the weekend and go back into the scary, hard, real world. My most frequent thought immediately after both Consonances I went to was "I want to go back where I was happy..."

[mdlbear]

Yeah; conventions feel a lot like an extension of our house -- it's just one huge extended family.

For me it doesn't even have to be a filk con; there's always something interesting going on, good people to talk to, pretty stuff to look at in the art show and dealer's room, interesting panels...