mdlbear: (rose)
[personal profile] mdlbear
If she hadn't been stillborn, our daughter Amethyst Rose would have been thirteen years old today; about an hour ago I made my traditional memorial toast in alt.callahans. It'll show up in Google Groups eventually; meanwhile follow the previous link -- I finally put the whole series of posts up on my website.

I don't think I'll be moving the memorial posts to LJ; I have a long tradition to uphold now, and it would break the series. This is a different place from that "comfortable...fantasy", as I called it here last year; there's a different feel to it. (Somehow it doesn't seem as if a whole year has gone by since then -- all these August 4ths are connected, like beads on a string.)

So I'm not going to add much, here, to what I said in Callahans. Some other time, perhaps. I'm doing OK, really. I'm not grieving anymore; these posts are...something else. I'm not sure what. Maybe just my way of honoring her memory. Maybe a place I can go when I need the comfort that only a personal fantasy can give. I used to read Yeats when I was feeling down; now I write of Amethyst Rose.

Comments are welcome here, of course, as well as in the newsgroup. Thanks for listening, and good night.

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