Sleepless in San Jose?

[mdlbear]

Last night I was up at 4:30am worrying about whether Alaska Airlines would be able to accommodate the flower_cat's inability to handle the stairs to get on and off the plane in San Jose, which doesn't have jetways at that end of the old terminal. All it would have taken was a couple of clicks to find their page on mobility and wheelchair assistance, but a web browser isn't the first thing I think of when lying in bed awake at some ridiculous hour. Not sure why not, though, except for the excess blood in my caffeine stream.

All the worry and tension pretty much disappeared when I got back from my walk and finally looked it up.

That doesn't explain why I was up at 4:30 again this morning. Not much tension; just bits of Quiet Victories running through my head.

Guess I'll just be thankful for the bit of extra time on the days when I have it, and try not to worry too much about whether it's an actual change in my sleep habits. Because worrying about that might... Hmmm.

Comments

Permission to nap, or not...

[harmonyheifer.livejournal.com]

My sleeping habits have aways been erratic. Damn near 30 years of shiftwork and catching naps as a single-working-three-jobs-to-pay-the-bills-mother took quite a toll on my health. When I finally collapsed into a disabled heap in the fall of 2001 I think I slept 12-16 hours a day for about a month.

Interestingly, now that I can sleep whenever I want, I can't always sleep. I was pretty cranky about this for several years. Finally a few months ago I took my history of sleep, impending menopause, my medical problems, and my ever changing pain levels into consideration and said, "Fuck it."

If I am awake, I am awake. Big deal. It isn't like there aren't things I can accomplish even if it is 3am. If I am sleepy I will go to sleep. There are two beds in this house, and I know where they both are. I know that doesn't sound like rocket science, but for me it was a huge breakthrough. After nearly a half a century of arranging my hours of sleep around the needs of others I finally get to do what I damn well please, and it took me seven years to figure this out? Well, at least I have it figured out now.

*embarrassed laugh*

Re: Permission to nap, or not...

[mdlbear]

Good philosophy. I've always had trouble getting to sleep, and these days I have even more trouble getting back to sleep if something -- or someone -- wakes me up.

Ah, well. Not sleeping alone has its good points, too, and they far outweigh the occasional early awakening.