When you're up to your arse in alligators...

[mdlbear]

Colleen isn't sick -- she's wounded. This makes her all the more frustrated: she feels perfectly OK except for craving food, which of course she can't have, and being unable to get out of the house and do things by herself. It's a strain on her.

It's at least as much of a strain on me, since most of the things she can't get out and do end up in my bailiwick. One does what one has to, but perhaps the hardest thing is not being able to help her. Sure, I can cope with the physical stuff -- the TPN care is becoming routine, finally. What I'm having the most trouble with is not being able to comfort her, or calm her anger and frustration.

I sometimes have the feeling that we're both taking turns hanging on by our fingernails while the other grabs on to our ankles. I lost it again last night.

The fact that I'm fighting a cold, and at times can barely breathe, doesn't help at all. The fact that January is a particularly bad month for Colleen -- the anniversary of several deaths -- helps even less.

Comments

[hsifyppah.livejournal.com]

Aw. Here is a mandel-bear for the mandelbear:

[mdlbear]

LOL! Delightful.

Alternatively,the Bear from A Planet Named Shayol. Except that the "B" in B'Dikkat stands for "Bovine"...

The bear is priceless!

[capplor.livejournal.com]

.

[moshez.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[mdlbear]

*hugs back*

[figmo.livejournal.com]

I'm hoping to be up to coming by and hanging out soon. I'm sure she could use the company.

[mdlbear]

Absolutely. Thanks.

[firecat]

make alligatorade?

hm, maybe not.

[healing thoughts to both of you]

[mdlbear]

Skin and clean one medium-sized juicing alligator. Put into industrial-sized blender...

Thanks.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

I've heard that alligator sausage can be very tasty. And it keeps well, so you can save some for when Colleen is able to eat solid food again.

[mdlbear]

I've had fried alligator nuggets - almost halfway between fish and chicken; very tasty.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

They had both alligator meat and alligator sausage the last time I dined in my favorite rodizio... but they turned out to be heavily seasoned with garlic, so I didn't dare taste them. But it's one way to get some of those alligators out of your swamp ;-D

[mdlbear]

Allergic to garlic? How horrible!

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

Garlic, onions, and all other members of the Allium family of vegetables (chives, green onions, etc.) make me violently ill, within minutes of consumption. Even a tiny bit of garlic, with the flavor masked by other spices, will cause severe gastrointestinal upset. (It's not technically an "allergy", because I don't go into anaphylactic shock; it's a "food sensitivity". Writhing in agony on the bathroom floor as both ends of your digestive tract simultaneously expel their contents isn't life-threatening. Or treatable.) I'm also "allergic", although somewhat less violently, to all tomato products, all olive products, all of the cabbage-like vegetables, mushrooms, eggplant, and most kinds of cheese.

This makes life complicated, because just about every prepared food seems to contain at least onions and/or garlic as flavorings. I have to pester the servers in restaurants to go pester the chef about what's in any given dish. Oddly enough, hot pepper doesn't bother me in the slightest.