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[mdlbear]

Went to Kathy Mar's bash this afternoon -- it was good, and people were very glad to see us and to see Colleen out of the hospital and looking well, but of course being around tasty food was terrible for Colleen. Having to get her home made a good excuse to leave early, which had the side-effect of getting me home before I started to get sleepy. Which is a good thing, too.

We're both somewhat depressed. It's not just the TPN -- the fact that she's missed two holidays, Loscon, our anniversary party, and will be missing Conflikt doesn't help. Nor does the fact that two of our friends died recently, and that January is the anniversary of Cindy McQuillin's death and her mother's.

We both have plenty of reasons to be depressed. That doesn't make it any easier, it just means that happy pills aren't likely to help, even if we were willing to try them. It's the kind of situation where religious people would turn to their deity for solace, and their church for help. We're not. It's the kind of situation where many of our friends would call Colleen to help cheer them up. Um... right.

Yesterday and today were the first walks longer than half an hour I've taken in a week or two. Both times I found myself walking slower than usual; slowing down and stopping a couple of times. I usually do that when I'm depressed. So... I haven't felt up to calling anyone, either. Yes, talking with a friend would probably help. No, I don't want to drag anybody else down. And if somebody cheerful did call me I'd probably just growl at them.

*sigh* Can't win. I'll try making an appointment with a shrink tomorrow. If I can manage to make the phone call.

Don't worry too much about us -- we'll make it. Somehow.