Done Yesterday

[mdlbear]

0219 Th
  * W=186.0; coffee
  * 9:00 car (loaner available)
  * noonish: walk; about 1hr
  & call to Callie
  * 16:00 wrote $tech-report
  * 17:07 Ask Kurt about borrowing wheelchair
    -> as it turns out, it was taken back by the VA
  & Riverheart (proofed chords)
  & Landscapes (not grokking all of the tune)
    (it would help if I had Callie's range)
  * 10:45 Colleen's PICC flush; tuck in and snuggle
  * 10:54 mail Emmy's AT&T rebate (addressed, stamped, and ready)

I'm particularly pleased with my lunchtime call to cflute -- she had apparently been thinking of calling me later in the afternoon. Go me!

I'm a little surprised that it's taken me this long to figure out the chords to "Riverheart", but I'm happy enough with it now to be comfortable singing it at Consonance.

Comments

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

Hey, you made a phone call! Congratulations!

[mdlbear]

*grins* Callie is one of the handful people it's comparatively easy for me to call.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

Is that because you know her schedule well enough that you can be reasonably certain you're not going to interrupt her at anything?

[mdlbear]

Partly that, and partly that I know both what to say to her and what to say to her voice mail. Mostly that she's become a close enough friend for me to feel comfortable calling even when I don't have much to say.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

If you can make that leap with one person, you can learn how to do it with others. Be sure to mention this to your therapist.

[mdlbear]

I mentioned it, but the resulting suggestions turned out to be basically useless, and I didn't realize that at the time. So it turned out to be pretty much a wasted session.

I don't know how I got there; I'm not sure it's reproducible. And even then I can only call maybe one week out of two or three, and it doesn't take many non-returned calls to make me stop trying for a month or two. I don't like to feel like I'm bothering someone.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

As I've said, try turning that around. How do you feel when someone phones you? Do you feel as if they're bothering you, or interrupting something more important?

[mdlbear]

Sometimes, but usually I enjoy the conversation. But here's the thing: I usually enjoy the conversation if I call them, too. But often I'll get voice mail, and if I don't get called back I don't know what to do. Should I call back and risk being an annoyance, or not? It doesn't help that people are often inconsistent in what they tell me they want; I tend to err on the side of not calling very often.

But even calling someone I'm pretty sure isn't busy, and who usually returns calls if they are, turns out to be hard more often than not.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

I can see that this is very complicated, as well as long-standing. What happens when someone explicitly asks/tells you to call them?

[mdlbear]

That usually works, I think, as long as I have a time window and manage to actually connect. Though it's been a long time.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

Would it help if I asked you to call me within a specific time range?

[mdlbear]

/me says "probably" with some apprehension. I could try.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

Okay, then... please call me Monday, 2 February, between the hours of 6 and 9 PM Pacific time. You will not be inconveniencing me in any way, and I enjoy talking to you. I believe you already have my phone number, but if it's gone missing, email me [acelightning (at) monmouth (dot) com]. Also, if the idea causes you more anxiety than you're ready to deal with, likewise email me - I won't be offended. I'm practicing psychology without a license offering to try to help you stretch your limits, not break them.

[mdlbear]

"Monday, 2 February" -- I think you mean March :)

I'll see what I can do. It'll be toward the late end, since I have group at 5:30.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

Oops - brain said "March", fingers typed "February" :-(
(Which reminds me - I have to flip the page on my wall calendar.)

And the time slot can easily be extended by at least an hour. (For the most part, I arrange my activities to suit myself, except for those few things that must be done during "normal business hours".)