Done yesterday

[mdlbear]

0302 Mo
  * slept ~11-6:20
  * W=186.  drugs +keflex, coffee, emergen-c (had to go back for the flonase)
  * post to.done
  & :( got a voice mail, listened to it in the car, and promptly forgot it.
    I _think_ it was something I already knew about... [but it wasn't]
  & called Colleen: the voice mail was a request for safety pins.
  * psa post about concerts (including the fact that TGq is *saturday*)
  & Colleen's on solid food and has the epidural out.
    ! happy, hopeful, and *I noticed it at the time*  Go me!   
  & only a token walk: it was cold and windy and threatening.
    ! restless.  bored?  probably.
  * 4:36 keflex
  * 4:30ish leave for group
  * 5:30pm Group (move these to .drafts for a summary)
    printed out notes but didn't actually use them; left out some things :(
  * 6-9pm call Acelightning. Nice talk about nothing in particular.
  ~ notes for the app't -tomorrow- (moved to 3/13)
  * does Colleen want me to bring in catalogs?
  * bring in cat dress for Colleen to wear home
  * visited Colleen Not looking all that good
    ! Some strong emotion I don't have a name for.  Compassion?  
  * look for mail from Alan T. for 501C3 # -> print out
  * 11:30ish keflex, bed

I needed my sleep, obviously.

In the morning when I visited Colleen and saw her looking well, I was happy and hopeful, and I noticed it at the time. That's a major step for me. Unfortunately it didn't last.

In the evening when I saw her not looking well I also noticed my emotional state, but couldn't identify it. Still can't. Disappointment certainly. Compassion? Love? No idea. I'm new at this.

pocketnaomi pointed out that emotional stress is exhausting, and also that it sounds like me to not notice it, and then wonder why I'm tired. She's right, of course.

Comments

[firecat]

There's no one-word name for the emotion of "Seeing someone in pain and really wishing they weren't." Compassion and empathy get at some of it but they aren't quite the whole thing.

[mdlbear]

Oh.

I've just been assuming it's another of those things that everybody knows but me.

[firecat]

Actually the word you used in another post, "distress," comes pretty close. So "empathic distress" maybe.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

There are a lot of things "everybody knows" that don't have specific names, or have only recently had words coined for them. Until the poly community invented the word "compersion", there was no specific term for being happy because two people you love, who also love each other, are making each other happy. (Or, on the negative side, English has no direct translation for Schadenfreude.)