[river] ssri still coming up to speed?

[mdlbear]

It's been a little over 5 weeks since my citalopram dosage was increased to 20mg; today marked what felt like another definite improvement. That, or the change has been there for a while, masked by concern over Colleen's condition. In any case, I felt happy for most of the day. A little bit lower in the evening, more like "just OK", but even that's doing pretty well for me. I could get used to days like this.

It's probably related, also, to yesterday's change, whatever the heck that was all about. I still haven't figured that out yet.

I was particularly happy during my walk. I did very little thinking this time, just observing the scenery and the people. I seem able to notice my feelings best when I'm not thinking.

Comments

[randwolf.livejournal.com]

What happened yesterday is probably that the drug started to kick in. It usually takes 4-6 weeks for an SSRI to make its effects felt.

And I'm really glad to hear that Colleen is doing better.

[mdlbear]

I got a noticeable effect at 3 weeks, but you're probably right that yesterday and today were also drug-related.

[wyld-dandelyon.livejournal.com]

Yesterday you also experienced an intuitive leap. Perhaps facilitated in part by the drugs, but insight is insight, and is caused by thinking and paying attention and being open to whatever you might come to understand, so it is more than just drug-effect.

[mdlbear]

Hmm. If there was an intuitive leap there, I'm not sure what it was. It felt more like a fast series of mood changes. I might have decided something about the direction I'm going, but even there I'm not sure what I decided. Weird.

There was an insight the day before (the 19th). That mainly made me discouraged; it may have taken the extra day to process that. *nods* Maybe.

[wyld-dandelyon.livejournal.com]

Feelings and logical thought are different modes, almost different levels of consciousness, so that makes sense.

Similarly, the state of mind to do good writing and the state of mind to do good artwork are different modes.

With practice, it becomes faster and easier to switch modes, and also easier to carry information from one mode to the other without losing your train of thought.

Which is helpful, since once one knows what one is thinking, one can use that as input to the logic stream.

[wyld-dandelyon.livejournal.com]

that should be "since once one knows what one is feeling..."

dratted lysdexic typos...

[zencuppa.livejournal.com]

Yay you! I am glad you're enjoying more happiness! Whatever the reason, it's a reason to celebrate :-)

[mdlbear]

Thanks. It is indeed.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

I think it's also, at least in part, a sign that your determination to fix yourself is working, and working better than you had expected.

[mdlbear]

Yes, now that I've figured out what corner I turned, that seems very likely.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

When a geek sets out to fix something, it very often winds up not only fixed, but improved... even if what he sets out to fix is himself ;-D